Ghost
by TheDoublestuf
Summary: Liz has checked out of the alien abyss until someone from her past pulls her back in. M/L  eventually. Breaks from canon after Cry Your Name, S2.
1. Prologue

**Prologue ****  
**  
The Guardian lifted his eyes to the fourth story of the building in front of him. It was a nice building, surprisingly nice. He didn't think he'd find her here, in one of the posh apartment buildings on Charlesgate East. In searching her out, he thought he would find himself at some cute—but cheap—little complex that was filled with students, young professionals, the odd artist or two. But this was definitely the place. He could tell that the one he was seeking often stood on the other side of that large bay window, looking out at the small, inviting park across the street: thinking, wishing, remembering.

He had been surprised when the Greater Beings has pulled him off his case and reassigned him to this new one. That didn't normally happen. In fact when he had first been called up to meet with the G.B.s, he thought that he might be in trouble. Oh, not for messing up his assignment or anything, rather for indulging in a few of this world's pleasures. He understood and accepted that his kind existed beyond time and space, but why did they have to exist beyond The White Stripes, Franz Ferdinand, or Modest Mouse? That was taking this "greater reality," "beyond embodiment" thing way, way too far. So on the occasional assignment, okay, scratch that, on most assignments, he found some new indie rock album to add to his contraband music collection.

When he met with the Greater Beings, which was an interesting experience in and of itself (the first time he met with them, he thought he was going post-mortem crazy, the swirling lights and one androgynous voice that the G.B.s used to manifest themselves were very 60s psychedelic rock meets 70s glam rock, not what you'd necessarily expect in the beyond), music wasn't what they wanted to talk about. He had been quickly informed of an urgent situation arising on the planet known as Earth.

"You have been called here because the reality from which you came is at a turning point," the Greater Beings had told him. "The Greatest Being has proclaimed you as the Guardian who will play a pivotal role."

"Me?" He might like to deny it, but that had come out as a squeak. The Greatest Being had proclaimed that he should be the Guardian involved? He knew then whatever was going on must be really huge. Really, really huge. Normally the Greater Beings would assign Guardians. For the Greatest Being to make a proclamation spoke volumes. This assignment had to go beyond helping a family go through the loss of a loved one or calming the anger of an Embodied Being before it caused itself or another harm. One thing was for sure – he knew he needed to gain his composure. Wouldn't do for the Greatest Being's handpicked Guardian to start freaking out at the honor.

"So, are we talking being about being a presence of wisdom to a humanitarian leader? Or filling the heart of a president with peace?" The Guardian had heard of other Guardians being sent to do such things. Of course, most of those Guardians were older even than the reality he had come from. When it came to matters of global significance, experience seemed to matter.

What the Greater Beings said in response still gave him shivers.

"You will be the guide and supporter to a savior of worlds."

"Worlds? As in plural?" He hadn't heard the Voice right; he couldn't have.

"Worlds." The Voice had been laced with weariness as it continued. "Millions of lives can be lost or saved. Love or hatred sown for generations to come."

The Guardian had been stunned. Never had he heard of such a large assignment being entrusted to a Guardian. Usually for issues of this magnitude, the Greater Beings drew closer to the Embodied Realities.

"A council is being held, the outcome of which will impact worlds near and far. A Guardian has been whispering wisdom into the heart of the chair of this council. This chair will call upon a young woman to act as a mediator for the proceedings. Her role is essential for a peaceful outcome."

Now looking up at the window where the young woman often stood, the Guardian was still slightly overwhelmed by the magnitude of what he was about to do. One woman being called to save worlds. It went beyond all he knew. And the G.B.s hadn't stopped with the surprises there. Usually Guardians whispered into the hearts of their assignments, since they couldn't reveal themselves in a way that your regular five senses could identify. When he had referred to this universal practice, he had been corrected by the Greater Beings. Apparently, for this woman, he would be revealing - yeah, actually visually revealing himself to her - telling her of her call, and then staying on, providing support and guidance as she mediated the powers and principalities of her reality.

This meeting had been more disorienting than when he was first called. Everything he thought he knew about being a Guardian was thrown out the proverbial window. You just didn't do that, reveal yourself. Embodied Beings couldn't handle it. After stressing his concerns about what he was supposed to do, the G.B.s had reassured him that even cardinal rules needed to be broken on special occasions.

"Throughout the history of Embodied Realities," he had been told, "there have been certain beings who are able to be in communion with a Guardian. If she were not to play such a crucial role in the Embodied Realities, she would make an excellent candidate for a Guardian herself."

And just when he though things couldn't get any stranger... Before he left the Greater Beings to seek out his assignment, he received a warning. Apparently this woman, this amazing woman who would save worlds, who was so special that she could be a Guardian like him, this woman who had been chosen for such a great and unheard of honor to actually see and hear a Guardian, this woman might refuse her calling.

"What the he- um, what?" He had not-so-smoothly responded. "She might what?"

"Say no." The Voice of the Greater Beings, which usually was filled with warm assurance and a sense of authority, had actually sounded a bit... embarrassed.

"And why would she do this? I mean, I can bring on the burning bushes, the starry nights and chorus of angels, the talking inanimate objects if I need to. I can even get Elvis to appear to her if need be."

"Yes, well, that might not actually help." Again, the Voice had sounded unusually self-conscious. "You see, young one, this will not be the first time this woman has saved her reality. And while she has gone through much for the sake of the world already, she does not know exactly why. In fact, since she was last called upon to save her reality, she has questioned her actions and decisions. Questioned even her own heart."

"So what you're saying is she's not exactly going to be thrilled to be volunteered again."

"That may prove to be putting it lightly. It will be up to you to convince her that she must answer the call of the Greatest Being. Flashy tricks will likely just get in the way. Use your words, your wisdom, and hopefully she will listen."

Following that dizzying conversation, the Guardian had wished for the first time in awhile that he could still enjoy a good orange soda on the rocks.

The Guardian was pulled from his thoughts as he noticed a small figure engulfed in a large black coat hurrying down the sidewalk toward the building in front of him. Though he could not see her face—it was hidden by the brightly colored knit scarf and hat she wore—he knew this was the one had been waiting for. Seeing her now, he was filled with a sense of calm and confidence.

When the Greater Beings has told him to use his wisdom, he had really doubted the success of this assignment. Sure, he was a pretty good Guardian, but he was still pretty new to this gig. While Guardians and the Greater Beings existed beyond time, only five years had passed in the reality where he had come from. He would have likely remained in that doubt had the Greater Beings not told him the name of his assignment. The moment he heard her name, everything became clear and he knew why the Greatest Being had called on him. He only hoped once he explained everything, she would have the same confidence in her call as he did his.

Watching her say hello to the doorman of her building and hurry into the warmth of its walls, a slight smile crossed the Guardian's face. This was going to be both the best and worst assignment he would likely ever receive. Saying a small prayer for wisdom, he closed his eyes as he summoned the strength he would need to tell Liz Parker that she was needed to save the world.

Again.


	2. Closer to Fine

Closer to Fine

Boston, December 2005

"Damnit!"

Liz Parker closed her eyes as she swallowed the urge to yell out a lot more than that, not wanting to shock the sweet elderly lady who lived across the hall into a heart attack. The door of her apartment refusing to unlock may be just a minor inconvenience but her day had already been heavily peppered with those. First her lab ran late, thanks to her partner's inability to arrive anywhere on time, which meant she was late for her lunch with Carrie, her WISHR (Women in Science at Harvard-Radcliffe) little sib. That wouldn't have been too big a deal except Carrie had class at 12:30 and had to leave before Liz got to Leo's Place or so Raffi—one of the brothers who owned the restaurant—told her when she got there. It was particularly annoying because this had been the first time she and Carrie had managed to find time to get together in about a month. Carrie's class load was really heavy this semester and Liz was preoccupied with her grad school applications.

This lunch had been the one thing in her hectic schedule that Liz had really been looking forward to. Carrie, a sophomore comp sci major, always reminded her a little bit of Alex, and right now that was something Liz really needed. Car was a little awkwardly shy, incredibly kind, and riotously funny if you knew her well. While no one would ever replace Alex in her life, being friends with someone who reminded her of him made Liz feel at home. Carrie, like Alex, helped her take life a little less seriously, lose that doom and gloom mentality she would occasionally slip into. With the stress of her senior honors thesis and applications bearing down upon her, Liz really need to be able to find comfort in her friends. Unfortunately thanks to those things that were stressing her, she had little time to see her school friends and Maria was still on her short tour in California. She had been gone a few weeks and was coming back to Boston in two days. There would be lots of catching up and a major Ben and Jerry's bing but until then, Liz was all alone.

So here she was, coming apart at both ends because her stupid key was sticking in the lock. Maybe if she wiggled it just right...

"Ugh." Nope, that wasn't it. She was starting to feel silly standing outside her own apartment, unable to get in. She really didn't want to bother the superintendent again, though. Nice guy but he took forever to get anything done.

Sticky lock aside, it really was a great apartment. Much nicer than anything she could really afford. Maria had decided that the two of them deserved something a little decadent after all they had to put up with over the years. So two years ago, after selling several songs to a couple of big-time producers, Maria invested in this apartment. And it was perfect. A two bedroom, two bath with a small room connected to Maria's bedroom that she used as a studio. They lived on the fourth floor and there was this fantastic European style elevator that luckily—given the super's less-than-speedy response time—was never out of order. They had a great view of the nice little park across the street and Liz's room even had French doors that opened out to a small balcony. No more climbing in and out a window for her. There was nothing to complain about. Well, nothing except this stupid lock.

Liz thought for the umpteenth time this month that she could probably use her ever-present reminder of her younger, alien-filled days and fix this lock once and for all. But Maria had begged Liz not to. She was sure it wasn't safe, no matter that they hadn't had any trouble from aliens or the FBI in years. Liz was pretty sure no one suspected anything; the only people that knew about her "gifts" also knew not to say a thing. But Maria had been so insistent and Liz didn't want to worry her anymore. She'd gone through enough of that with Michael. So when Liz rarely used her magic green hands—on purpose that is—she did so only when she could be assured of complete privacy. There might be not be anyone in the halls, but every apartment door did have peepholes and Liz was pretty sure if a few vulgar words might give her across-the-hall neighbor palpitations, green sparks coming from her hands would send the sweet lady right into the next world.

If only she thought she could control her powers, she might be able to open the door without creating but the smallest of sparks. She had been working on her powers since they manifested several years ago and she had certainly gotten better. But when her emotions were running high, she couldn't be assured of any control. So it seemed the days she was most tempted to use her powers were the same days she really shouldn't. Of course, several years ago this day would have paled in comparison to the normal fare. She hadn't had any run-ins with evil aliens or any heartbreak caused by one alien in particular so really she shouldn't complain.

A day free of the intense, life-sucking pain that had come from loving that particular alien was a day one should really just live and enjoy. Yep, as long as she didn't have to look into those deep autumn eyes that were once filled with love and see absolutely nothing, things really weren't all that bad.

"Well crap." She had to go and do it, didn't she. One out of every two days she did not, in fact, think about Max Evans. That was a statistic she had grown quite proud of and now it was most definitely blown. Two days ago seeing a couple on the T who were obviously just starting their relationship - they had that young puppy love thing down so well - brought memories of playing pool and talking over fortune cookies rushing back at her. Yesterday she had found herself wondering about what life would have been like if she hadn't changed their paths. Would they really have gotten married at age nineteen? Would they have gotten to go to college together and now be sharing the stress of grad school aps? Would they, at the very least, still be talking? As usual, answers to those questions were completely beyond knowing and just caused frustration. And today she had to go and think about those eyes, something that proved just as troublesome as any questions. Stupid, stupid brain.

"Oh!" Liz let out in surprised as her key suddenly turned. While thoughts of Max might not be good for her sanity, they were apparently good for her door-opening skills. Urging herself to leave thoughts of amber eyes at the door, Liz walked into her apartment, locked the door behind her, and headed to the living room. Setting her backpack on the side table behind the couch, Liz noticed that she and Maria had three messages on their machine. Hitting play, Liz walked over to the fridge and got out the cranberry juice.

"Hey babe," Maria's voice came from the answer machine. "It's like 11 am or so your time. I know, I can't believe I'm up either. Just thought I'd try and catch you, but you probably are off solving the mysteries of the universe. Hope Matt actually managed to show up. I really think you should break out your color-coding wheel skills and help that boy stay on track."

Liz laughed slightly at that. Poor Maria had to hear her complain about her lab partner so often. Nice guy, and brilliant to boot. Just completely irresponsible. If she thought a color-coded calendar would help him at all, Liz would have willingly let him benefit from her more, uh, over-organizing habits.

"So tonight's supposedly the big one. That producer who really liked what he heard on those song demos I sent out is going to be there. God, I hope I don't suck it up. Must remain calm and cool. Yeah, caz I'm so good at that. Anyway, I love you and, yes, I'll call you as soon as I know anything, no matter what time. Oh, and I talked to Kyle last night - he says hi and he'll call you soon. Apparently he has Czech story has to share with you – said I "just wouldn't get it." I love that boy but sometimes he makes me want to take his zen and shove it where the sun don't shine. Oh, and I was thinking we totally need to get a little tree for the place when I get back. We could have a decorating party with lots of wine and strings o' popcorn. You should totally invite that hottie from Apt 4. I swear that boy's eyes pop out every time he sees you. Maybe we should hang mistletoe from every light fixture and doorframe in the apartment, to make sure he catches you under some! And this is turning into the world's longest message. We'll talk sometime tonight or tomorrow and I'll fill you in on my brilliant plan. I can't wait to see you!"

Lifting the glass of juice to her mouth Liz smiled at Maria's message. Maria didn't exactly have a reputation for eloquence but when she was extra excited or nervous the babble monster came out in force. And trust her to mention the guy who lived on the second floor of their building. He moved in two months ago and Maria had quickly taken notice. They didn't even know his name yet but Maria was convinced that he and Liz were going to be presenting her with little nieces and nephews to baby-sit in the next few years. Good to know that a brief stint in the alien abyss hadn't damaged her imagination.

The next message was from her parents. She and the folks had been playing phone tag and they really needed to talk about Christmas plans. The Parkers couldn't get away from the restaurant during the holidays and Liz wasn't sure if she would be able to come home given all her work, so Christmas plans were kind of up in the air. Listening to her dad fill her in on the latest customer-from-hell story, Liz walked over to the big living room window. She loved looking out their windows at this time of day. It was still about 40 minutes before dark and kids from the neighborhood were playing in the snow-filled park across the street. Watching them fling snowballs at each other, hearing their faint laughter, seeing them run around with such an innocent joy filled her with a sense of hope, one she really needed today. These kids were having a carefree blast.

What she wouldn't give to be able to do that again. To completely live in the moment, to not wonder if every choice you made, every action you took would have a greater impact than you could ever imagine. To not be burdened with wondering whether or not you had already made that choice that ruined your life and the lives of your friends.

Ugh. There she went again. She was bordering on Maria levels of melodrama. This was exactly why she needed to see Carrie today. Thanks probably in large part to the stress she was under, she had been doing a lot of unhealthy reflecting on her days in Roswell. She usually was only this bad two times a year – the weeks surrounding September 19th and April 29th – the anniversaries of the shooting and Alex's death. She had to get out of this slump.

Moving away from the window and pushing those wearying thoughts from her mind, Liz focused on Kyle's voice as he told her to call him back so he could share his latest "I-was-touched-by-an-alien" moment. She and Kyle had gone through a lot together over the past few years. He laughed with her and cursed with her as they both figured out how to handle Czech fireworks. While Maria was the best friend a girl could ask for, there was something really comforting about having someone else share in all the weird stuff she went through.

Liz headed back to the kitchen as Kyle's voice faded out. Setting her glass down in the sink she turned to the refrigerator and sighed. She hadn't had time to go grocery shopping lately and so scrounging up dinner was going to be a challenge. She didn't really feel like frozen pizza, again, and she couldn't exactly make a sandwich without bread. Looks like it would be another take-out night.

She was in the middle of deciding between Chinese and Mexican when a warning bell went off in her mind. She didn't hear or see anything but she could sense something not normal was going on in her apartment. Call it one of the better bonuses of her alien powers, Liz was especially in tune to the world and people around her. And right now her tuning fork was telling her something was amiss in her apartment. She hadn't felt whatever it was when she entered the place, though that might have been because she had been slightly distracted with other thoughts. What was weird about this particular feeling was that it wasn't a bad one. Something wasn't normal, but it wasn't bad either. In fact, she felt oddly calm.

"Hello, anyone here?" Might as well try and be friendly if this strange feeling turned out to be a person. A person who could get into her fourth story apartment without a key and made her feel calmer than she had been in weeks. She moved from the kitchen, to the living room, to her bedroom door. That's where this presence seemed to be coming from.

"Look, not that I think you're going to, but just in case you were thinking about doing anything stupid, I'd think again. Trust me, you don't want to make me mad." She was going to feel really stupid if nothing turned out to be there. Or really embarrassed if it was Maria home early... on the eve of what could be her big break... and in Liz's bedroom... and not saying anything. Okay, it wasn't Maria. It was certainly more calming than Maria had ever been. But it did kind of feel like Maria, both familiar and warm.

Taking a deep breath, Liz opened the door and quickly turned on the light. Glancing around she saw nothing out of the ordinary, her bed and desk, bookshelves filled with expensive and heavy textbooks, the pictures of Alex, Maria, and Kyle that cluttered her desk and night stand. The doors to her balcony were closed, seemingly locked. The door to her bathroom, however...

The door was cracked open, just an inch or two, and Liz knew something was definitely behind it. She always shut the door, yet another mark of her slightly OCD inclinations, and certainly had this morning. At least she thought she did. Okay, given the stress of her week and the particular excitement of this moment, she really couldn't be sure of anything. But regardless of whether the door was any different than she had left it, she knew something or someone was behind there. Her hands began to crackle with their familiar green energy as she prepared for a potential confrontation. Just because this presence seemed peaceful didn't mean she was reading it right. Better safe than sorry.

She walked over to the ajar door and slowly reached out to push it. As the door creaked open, she peered around it and saw nothing. This made no sense. She didn't know what she was expecting to find, but something had to be causing this feeling. Didn't it? Or maybe all the stress had put this power out of wack too. She didn't normally have issues with the sensing stuff, but it did kind of make sense that she would be feeling a phantom calming presence right about now. She certainly needed it. Yep, she thought as she turned back into her bedroom. That has to be what it was.

Liz might have continued to think she was creating some sort of calming energy for herself if, when she turned around, she hadn't seen a tall man standing by her desk, holding one of her pictures in his hand.

"Ah, what, how did..." Liz couldn't quite seem to form a solid thought but her voice drew the man's attention. He set down the picture and turned toward her. And that's when she saw them. Those eyes she never thought she would see again. Those beautiful green eyes that were quickly fading out of focus as breath and consciousness left her.

"Alex?" She gasped before she completely blacked out.


	3. Don't Give That Girl A Gun

**Part 2**

Don't Give That Girl A Gun  
_  
_  
"Liz. Liz." A voice was gently calling her from the darkness where she was currently residing quite comfortably.

"No," she murmured, trying to discourage this voice from disturbing her.

"Come on, Lizzie," the voice chuckled. "No time for slug-a-bugs. We've got work to do."

"No more work," Liz whined as she fought coming back to reality, shoving her head under her pillow as she tried to block all distractions.

"And this from the girl who asked for more homework from our 7th grade science teacher. Liz, I am greatly disappointed. I know you couldn't have changed that much in my absence."

7th grade? Absence?

"Oh my god." Liz shot up from her bed, pillow flying, as she was quickly brought back to full consciousness. Sitting at the end of her bed, smiling at her with his patented goofy grin, was Alex. There he was, looking just like he did all those years ago. Well, almost just like he did. His bright green eyes which always spoke of wit and warmth now radiated a peace that hadn't been there before.

"Hey Lizzie," he spoke softly, his goofy grin turning into a sweet, slightly sad, smile.

"Oh my god," she whispered as she began to cry. Alex quickly gathered her in his arms, holding her close and tight as she sobbed against his chest. They weren't pretty tears. They were hard and raw, loud wrenching sobs. Alex didn't tell her "shhhh," or "it's all right," or anything else to encourage her to stop her tears; he just let her cry. Liz lost track of time as Alex held her, stroking her hair and occasionally kissing the crown of her head.

When her sobs had turned to sniffles, Liz found the strength to lift her head and look into the eyes that had so startled her before. They were gently smiling at her.

"Hey, so those were tears of joy, right?" Alex lightly teased as he handed her a Kleenex from his pocket.

"Oh Alex," Liz managed to laugh slightly as she wiped the tears from her face. "I don't know if I've ever been happier in my entire life."

"Really?" Alex grinned and cocked his eyebrows in the classic Whitman way. "Does this really beat out the day you won the eighth grade science fair and Pam Troy was thoroughly scolded in front of the entire school for her _Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable_ display?"

Liz let out a full laugh this time. "This is way, way better."

As she continued to absorb the fact that Alex was sitting here on her bed, holding her in his arms, joking with her about days gone by, Liz's mind began trying to process what was happening.

"Alex, I thought, I thought you were dead. We all did. I don't understand."

"Well, that's probably because I am. Dead." Alex responded nonchalantly.

Liz's mouth dropped. "Oh. So, then, are you a ghost or something?"

"Yes, Liz, I'm the ghost of Christmas past." Alex laughed and raised his arms above his head, waving them in his attempt to impersonate a ghost. "Oooo. Oooo, be nice to Tiny Tim."

Liz smiled at her friend's antics. "Is that right? I thought the ghost of Christmas future was the one that warned Scrooge about Tiny Tim."

"You're still too smart for your own good, missy," he jested. "And to answer your question, no I'm not a ghost."

"Okay." Liz pulled away from Alex so she could get a better look at him. Hair slightly messy, dark blue shirt, dark gray slacks, and his old white tennis shoes. He looked pretty normal, no weird glow or wings in sight. "Then what are you, exactly?"

Alex smiled knowingly as Liz tried to visually assess him. "Well, I can't really explain too much. There are rules you know."

"Rules?"

"Yep, rules. I can give you the basics though. When I died my human death, I was selected to be a Guardian, an advanced being that's kind of like what you might call an angel, except I'm not stuck with a halo. I go around trying to bring peace, hope, love, and joy to the world. Not a small task, huh? Luckily, there are other Guardians like me, Greater Beings who give us our assignments and help us out when need be, and of course the Greatest Being."

"Uh-huh. Could you go over that one more time?" Liz wasn't sure how much, if any, of what Alex just said she caught. If W. Roswell High could see their valedictorian now.

Alex paused for a moment, as though trying to find the right words. "There are different planes of reality, if that makes sense, which is how I can do things that I couldn't as a human - like appear in your room out of thin air. I exist in a different plane, one that's fairly connected to this one. There's something, though, that exists on all planes, is in all realities and yet above all realities. And for whatever reason, the plane I'm from now is one where I can feel this something better. I'm more attuned to it, which is how and why I'm sent to this reality as a guide."

"Is this something God?"

"It's what lots of people in all realities have called God. This presence, what I know as the Greatest Being, is love, Liz. It emanates love, it's the source of love, the essence of love."

"That's so beautiful, Alex. And kind of crazy. Different realities where all you need really is love." Liz laughed. "It sounds like something Maria's mom would think up."

Liz's eyes grew wide as the world beyond her bedroom filled the forefront of her mind. Getting up from her bed, she quickly headed toward the phone on her desk. "Alex, Maria is going to be even more of a basketcase than me when she sees you."

"Wait, Liz," Alex adjured as he rose slowly. "You can't call her."

"But..." Liz protested, her hand just above the receiver. "Oh, no, you're right. She has that big show tonight. We can wait until she calls me to tell her. Or maybe we should wait until she comes home in a few days. What do you think?"

"You can't tell her. Ever."

"What?" Liz was both shocked and confused. "Alex, it's Maria. How can I _not_ tell her?"

"I know this is a lot to ask," he acknowledged. "But I have to."

"But Alex, she misses you so much," she appealed, her voice and frustration rising as she spoke. "While I was off trying to figure out how you died, she's the one who spent time mourning you like you deserved. She put together this great yearbook thing on you and cried over you for weeks. Did you know the first song she ever sold was about you? She even dedicates every single concert she does to you. How can you stand there and tell me that I can't tell her?"

Liz watched as Alex closed his eyes, clearly pained by her statements. She had come off sounding harsher than she wanted. This was Alex; she didn't need to get angry with him. She just didn't understand Maria had to be kept in the dark.

"Liz, I don't like this anymore than you do," Alex confided quietly, his eyes drifting toward the picture frame he had been holding when she first saw him. The picture was one taken just before sophomore year, right before they found out about aliens, before they found their lives in danger. Alex had taken the picture of all three of them while they were smushed on Maria's couch. They all looked so happy and innocent. "In fact, I probably like it even less. I wish I could see Maria, see my parents, see..." His voice trailed off and Liz wondered if he had been about to say Isabel.

"Then why don't you?"

"I can't reveal myself to anyone." Alex sat back down on her bed, looking resigned and leaving Liz confused by his last statement.

"But you're here now. I can see you just fine." As she spoke, Liz crossed over to her bed and sat down beside him.

"You're not supposed to see me. Guardians never—or so I thought—reveal themselves to mortals. We do a lot of whispering in people's hearts, which isn't really all that easy you know. Humans are one hard-of-hearing species. We try our best and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I'm not entirely sure why we don't show ourselves, why we don't let people know of our existence. Maybe it has something to do with free will. Whatever the reason, we don't. One of those rules I mentioned."

"Then why can I see you now?"

"I'm not entirely clear on that point," Alex confessed. "I think it's because you're special."

"Special?" Liz softly echoed.

"Yep, but we all knew that," Alex said with a smile, one that was not shared by Liz. No longer looking at him, her eyes were instead focused on the ground and she was slowly rubbing her hands over her legs, as though trying to calm herself down.

"Is it," Liz's voice was barely audible, "is it because I have to atone?"

"What do you mean, atone?"

"For your death, Alex. Oh god, I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey, wait a minute." Alex reached out and lifted her face towards his. He brushed his thumb on her cheek bone, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. "Why are you getting all weepy again on me? And why do you need to atone for my death?"

"Because I killed you," she whispered. "It's my fault you're dead."

"Liz, as I seem to remember it, you didn't kill me. I believe that honor went to Tess."

"But Alex, you don't understand," Liz objected as she tried to hold back more tears. "You weren't supposed to die. You would have lived, at least another few years, if it hadn't been for me."

"Oh, you mean because you listened to a future version of Max and rewrote the history of the world?" Alex offered.

Liz was thrown slightly off-balance. "Well, yes. How did you know about that?"

"An advanced being now, remember? I know lots of things about you. The higher ups thought it would be a good idea to debrief me about what you've been through that way I could better help you."

"Help me? Help me with what?" Liz queried, her curiosity momentarily distracting her from her guilt.

"Later." Alex looked deep into her eyes and Liz began to feel an incredible sense of peace. "I want you to believe me when I tell you that you are not responsible for my death. You need to let go of that guilt. The only one blaming you is you and I, the supposed aggrieved party, don't like it one bit."

Liz thought momentarily to open her mouth in protest, but the peace that had begun to fill her had quickly spread. Maybe it was because of Alex's new status or maybe it was just because this was Alex, but she felt that burden which she had been carrying for so long beginning to lift. The tears that had spilled and those that were threatening dried as the knot in her chest slowly dissipated. Perhaps she didn't need to atone, but after hearing Alex's words Liz felt... absolved.

"Okay, I think I can do that. I can try, at least." Liz tentatively smiled up at Alex.

"That's all I ask," Alex assured.

Feeling truly better than she had since that horrible night the Sheriff had come into the Crashdown, Liz found herself marveling at her friend sitting beside her. "I can't believe you're here in the flesh. Or something."

"Me either." Alex responded as he pulled her into a tight hug. "It feels so good to have one of my girls in my arms again."

"This is just... Beyond words. I love you Alex, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Lizzie," he professed, holding her even tighter.

They might have stayed that way all night if Liz's growling stomach hadn't intruded on the moment. Laughing, they reluctantly pulled out of each other's arms.

"Why don't we get you something to eat?" Alex grinned.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed. "What do you think about Chinese?"

"Um," he replied, almost bashfully. "I don't exactly eat so you go ahead and get what ever you want."

"It's gonna take me a while to get used to this new Alex," Liz chuckled.

"Think you can handle it?" 

"Yeah, just don't do that appearing out-of-thin-air thing any time soon. I don't really feel like repeating my fainting act."

"Deal," Alex laughed as he helped Liz off the bed.

Liz made a phone call and twenty minutes later had hot sesame chicken at her door. She and Alex camped out on the living room couch while Liz ate and they caught up, neither Roswell nor aliens making their way into the conversation. Alex asked questions about Liz's school and new friends and Liz asked Alex about the favorite parts of his new position. Liz filled Alex in on Maria's success both in her singing career and in the songwriting department at Berklee—the school she attended—as well as some of Kyle's more amusing adventures as a small town boy in the big city of Chicago. They talked like two regular old friends catching up, completely ignoring the subject that had proven to be both life-altering and life-ending. Liz managed to make it several hours before her curiosity got the best of her.

"So Alex, earlier when you said something about helping me, what did you mean? Are you my very own grad school applications angel? If so, I'm just about done with those. Feel free to go whisper into the hearts of those admissions committees, though."

"No, I'm not here for your applications," Alex laughed. "Like you'd need any divine intervention on those anyway. No, I'm here for something else. But I don't know if now is the right time to talk about all that. I mean, aren't you on emotional and mental overload right now? It can't be easy seeing your best friend come back from the dead and hear about this whole other reality all in the same night."

Liz considered Alex's question. It would make sense if she was on overload, but she didn't think she was. "Actually, I think I'm doing surprisingly all right. I don't know, maybe it's because I've had strange things happen in my life before, or maybe it's because you've got that whole almost-an-angel thing working for you. It's weird but I feel like you haven't been gone for five years, that this just one night out of many we've spent chatting away."

"I know what you mean. But are you sure? Maybe you want to get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow."

"As if I could sleep tonight," Liz rebuffed. "No, tell me what's going on. Please."

Alex took a deep breath but didn't say anything.

"Come on," Liz laughed nervously. "You're going to make me crazy if you don't tell me."

"All right," he began. "I'm here to ask you a favor."

"Alex, for you, I'd do anything."

"I'm glad to hear you say that. I was worried it might take some convincing."

"Why?" Was he serious? As if she'd need any convincing to help him. "This is you. I'd do anything if you want me to."

"Please remember what you've just said because..."Alex almost squirmed as he continued. "Well, see, the thing is this favor kind of involves someone you may not want to deal with."

"What do you mean?" Alex's obvious nervousness was beginning to make Liz wary.

"Well, this favor I'm asking you kind of involves Max," Alex said, his voice relaying his trepidation.

"No," Liz firmly replied as she jumped off the couch. "No, no, no, and then you know what? No again!"

If her words, her tone, or her body language did communicate that she was extremely upset, the small green sparks that were emanating from her hands would have been a dead give away.

"Liz," Alex implored. "Look, I understand you've got the well deserved rage of the righteous, but please. Hear me out."

"Hear you out? Hear you out?" she fumed, her sparks growing more intense as she paced in front of him. "Why don't you hear me? No!"

"Liz," Alex attempted again. "Please."

"What, are you deaf as well as dead? I said no!"

Alex groaned as Liz stormed off to her bedroom, several sparks flying and one lamp exploding as she went.

"Okay, then we'll talk about this later," Alex called after her, receiving only a slammed door in response.


	4. It's Alright

**Part 3**

It's Alright

"Deep breath, girl, deep breath," Liz muttered to herself, trying to remember some of those meditations Kyle had taught her. The crisp winter weather was quickly freezing her fingers, face, and toes but she didn't care. It was a good kind of cold, one that was currently helping her clear her mind. Leaning against the balcony rail, she looked out at her park where the snow, lit by both moon and street lamps, shined with a fittingly phantasmal glow. Any kids were long gone and the stillness of the space comforted her.

She shouldn't have lost control like that. Not only was Alex probably questioning her sanity, but she was going to have to put that lamp back together before Maria got home. And as she was much better at accidentally blowing things up than intentionally putting those things back together, it would probably take her at least an hour before she got it right.

A slight, though powerfully cool, breeze blew past and Liz shivered. Maybe it was time to go in and face the music. Or maybe it was just time to get a coat. Liz groaned. No, she needed to go in and talk with Alex. She came out here to calm down and she had succeeded. No reason to stay out here any longer. No reason except that she knew the moment Alex mentioned Max again the calm she felt right now would quickly dissipate. It was one thing to think about him occasionally; it was an entirely different thing to have him brought back into her life in a more concrete way.

Taking one last deep breath of cold air, Liz summoned her courage, turned, and went back inside. She slowly made her way from her bedroom, past the pieces of broken lamp in the hallway, and into the living room where she found Alex staring out the window that she herself was so fond. She wondered if he found the same peace she did from her park.

"Hey," she said quietly, drawing his attention away from the window. She offered him a small smile and was relieved to see him smile back. Even if he thought she was crazy he still accepted her. That was Alex, though. Understanding beyond anything else on earth and apparently beyond earth too.

"Hey yourself," he replied.

"I – " Liz wasn't sure how to begin.

"So, that was, um..." Alex paused, as though he wasn't all that sure himself.

"Intense?" she supplied. That would be putting it nicely.

"Yeah, intense," he agreed. "I'm sorry I got you so riled up."

"No, Alex," Liz objected. "I'm the one who needs to be sorry. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. You have to know I'm not mad at you, I'm just... I'm just mad at the universe I guess."

"I can appreciate that," he replied, the understanding she had been admiring clearly reflected in both his eyes and his voice.

"This whole thing just sucks," Liz blurted out, her heart rate rising as her inner calm decreased. "Not you being here, of course, but the fact that you're here because of Max Evans. I mean, really Alex, why does it always have to be about Max? Just once I'd like one of these big events in my life to be about Jake Gyllenhaal or Colin Firth. Why don't you need my help with Mr. Darcy instead of Mr. Control Freak?"

"Okay, I'll see what I can do for next time," he volunteered. "And I didn't say it was about Max, exactly, just that it would involve Max."

"Same difference."

"Maybe, maybe not." Alex countered and gestured toward the couch. "Can we sit down to talk? I admit, watching you pace makes me a little nervous for all the light fixtures in the room."

Liz laughed slightly as she stopped moving. She hadn't even realized she was pacing. "Yeah, we can do that."

"So," she prompted once they were sitting down on the couch.

"So," Alex replied. "I'll get right to the point. There's something big going on, Liz, and your help is desperately needed."

"Let me guess what's up," Liz offered, not being able to resist the sardonic urge welling up inside. "Max has slept with another murdering alien, except this time instead of her running off to find his enemies and spill all their secrets, she's gotten pregnant with his kid and is using it against him. And now you need me to babysit Junior because Mom and Dad are too busy trying to kill one another to pay the kid any attention."

"Uh, nice imagination, Liz," Alex remarked. "But no, that's not it."

She could tell he was beginning to get frustrated. Oh her mother would just love that. She really was stubborn enough to try the patience of a saint, or something darn close. Still, she continued in the same vein.

"No? Too bad. I'm a great babysitter."

"Liz, I'm serious," he stressed.

"What? So am I," she quipped. "The summer after my freshman year I got paid good money to be a nanny for a couple kids here in Boston."

"Liz," Alex shook his head at her comment. "As great as your babysitting skills may be, that's not why I'm here. I've been sent here because you have been chosen by the Greatest Being to help mediate an unfolding crisis."

"An unfolding crisis, huh?"

"Yes."

"Well, screw it."

"Liz," Alex exhaled, letting some his exasperation finally show. "You have been chosen by the Higher Powers to fill crucial role. You cannot just say 'screw it,' at least not without giving me a chance to explain."

"The Higher Powers, huh?" What was left of Liz's calm was quickly disappearing. "Where were those Higher Powers when I lost my best friend? Where were those Higher Powers when I was terrified of making any major decision, worried that I might accidentally screw someone else's life up? Where were those Higher Powers when the boy I fell in love with turned into an ass?"

"Gee, you sure know how to ask all the tough ones," Alex half-heartedly joked. "Bet professors at school just love you."

"Oh Alex." Liz felt her indignation deflate in the face of his good-natured humor. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry," Alex insisted as he reached out to squeeze her hand, his own frustration clearly gone. "You've more than a right to those questions and I wish I knew the answers."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm being so difficult," she reasserted as she squeezed back.

"All is forgiven," Alex smiled. "Do you think you could really try and listen to what I have to tell you, ask you? You don't have to accept, that's fine. Just please, give me a chance."

"When it comes to Max, I don't know if I can afford to give anyone that," she admitted. "Even you. And I thought you would know that. You said you were filled in on what's been going on in my life. I think you would know why I can't do this."

"Liz, I was given the basics, not details," Alex explained.

The basics? And what exactly did that entail, she wondered. If Alex didn't know about that appalling night then it would explain why he hadn't brought it up or even alluded to it, why he appeared to be a little surprised at how difficult she was being.

"What do you know?" she asked and leaned back deeper into the couch, trying to ready herself to hear her life story from Alex's viewpoint.

"Well, I like I mentioned before, I know about what happened with Future Max, what you did and why you did it. I know that after I died you went on this mission to figure out what exactly happened. Our regular Nancy Drew. You figured out all about Sweden and Leanna. I'm just sorry the copy of that translation Tess had me working on was corrupted by the time you, Maria, and Michael found it."

"Me too," Liz interjected. That was something she still regretted. If they had known what it really said, Tess might not have gotten as far as she did with her plans. "I don't know if it would have helped me figure out what happened to you, but it might have helped save the others some grief."

"It may have. But then again, it may not," Alex added thoughtfully. "Either way, you were truly amazing Liz. You said earlier that Maria mourned me like I deserved and I'm honored by that. But Liz, I'm just as honored by what you did for me. So thank you."

"Um, you're welcome." Liz blushed at the compliment and fought the urge to look away from the heartfelt thanks in his eyes.

"Where was I..." As Alex continued Liz was thankful he didn't press his gratitude. It was strange on several levels to be receiving a compliment from her dead friend on her investigation into his death. "Oh yes. I know that Tess made the other aliens think that they were being called home and they were all about to get in the granolith and head into a trap when something happened."

Conversations with Michael and Maria came flashing back to her mind. He had been so furious to be tricked by Tess again. Furious at himself that was for sure, though perhaps even more furious at his best friend.

"Yeah, according to Michael she did that dream thing again but she slipped up at the last minute. When she was cornered she confessed to your murder and right after that she managed to escape."

Actually, according to Michael she more boasted of Alex's murder. No one had really suspected her; Liz herself had discounted her nagging distrust of the girl as being due to other certain issues. They probably would still be not completely sure what had happened if she hadn't bragged about it. Alex didn't need to know that though.

Liz was brought back from her thoughts by Alex's intense gaze. Did he know what she was thinking? No, he hadn't mentioned that he could read minds. And Alex would tell her something that big. Still, it was like all the wisdom in the world was there in his gaze. Amazing. Freaky, but amazing.

"So," he continued. "Tess escaped and Max, Michael, and Isabel spent the next four months tracking her down. When they got back into town, Tess was dead and Max was nothing like the boy he had been before."

"That's putting it lightly," Liz snorted. Very, very lightly.

"You finished high school without much contact with the aliens, except Michael via Maria, went off to Harvard and have only been back to Roswell three times in the past four years."

"Well, I've been busy with school and summer jobs and –"

"Liz," Alex interrupted. "I'm not judging you, I'm just telling you what I know."

"Okay, sorry."

"So, as I was saying, you've been here at Harvard and since Maria broke it off with Michael three years ago, you haven't had any contact with our alien friends back in Roswell."

More like avoided contact at all costs, she thought. Including opportunities to see Kyle during various breaks. That's why over the years she had gotten real familiar with the flight from Boston to Chicago.

"Oh yeah," Alex grinned as he added, "and as you've so kindly demonstrated, you've developed quite a nice little set of extra abilities thanks to Max's healing you."

Liz waited for Alex to continue. When he didn't she was mildly confused. That couldn't be all he knew. Even if he didn't know the biggest one, surely he would have been filled in on some of the more angsty incidents. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Wow," Liz marveled. "You really were given just the basics." It was like he got the Cliffs Notes to the Cliffs Notes - the most basic of plot information completely free of all the heartache and agony.

"Too much information would be prying into your privacy, not something I'm comfortable with. However, if you want to tell me what's going on, what happened, I'm always ready to listen."

Liz nodded in acknowledgment of Alex's offer. She wished she could tell him, wished she were able to tell him everything, even the things she had kept hidden from Maria. She had a feeling, however, that if she tried right now she'd go catatonic. Definite overload. "Thank you Alex. I don't think I could even begin to explain it all now. Maybe... maybe later."

"Whenever and if ever you want," Alex replied, his eyes again full of that understanding.

"Thank you," she murmured as she thought of how to respond. "Alex. I want to be able to do whatever it is you've come here to ask me. I do. I just don't know if I can deal with Max again."

There, she stated the obvious. It was an 'obvious,' though, that she'd tried to avoid. A part of her liked to pretend that if she ran into him on the street she would be just fine. Of course this was the same part of her that used to think love could over come anything. Foolish optimism.

"I respect that, Liz. But what I have to say goes way beyond Max."

Alex was looking at her with such hope and such earnestness Liz knew she needed to listen to him. He wasn't asking her to commit, just to give him a chance. She needed to get over her issues long enough to do that for her friend.

"All right, I'll try and listen," she acquiesced. "Just don't expect too much."

"Thank you. You know," he began, eyebrows cocked, grin firmly in place, "the Greater Beings said you might need convincing but I didn't know it would take this much just to tell you why I'm here."

"Yeah, well, I've gotten difficult in my old age. That's what happens when you don't die and get to stay young and beautiful forever," she taunted back as she reached over and playfully slapped his leg. "So you better spill what this great crisis is before I get ornery again."

Alex laughed at her and they shared a smile before he turned serious again.

"This is what I know. There's this council going down in New York in one week. Leaders from the five planets of the Whirlwind Galaxy will be represented at this meeting, including both Kivar and Max. Apparently Kivar is going to offer another deal and the council is getting together to discuss it. The outcome of this council will affect the lives of billions of beings on several planets."

"And I'm guessing Kivar and Max getting together constitutes the crisis." Seeing Alex nod she continued. "Where do I fit in?"

"Well, at this council, each leader is allowed a second, someone who will participate in the discussion and advise their commander. They don't get a vote but they do have a crucial advisory role. Do you remember Larek?"

"Yes, he was the alien who would use Brody as his vessel or something, right? I haven't heard about him in a long time. As best as we could tell, after Brody went crazy that night at the U.F.O. Museum, he never came back. At least he hadn't three years ago," she added.

"Well, he's back now, though he's not using Brody anymore. He's the chair of this council, in fact. Another Guardian has been whispering to him about his second, about who he needs to ask."

"I don't think I like where this is going," she warned.

"Liz, Larek is going to call you tomorrow morning, tell you about the council, and ask you to be his second."

"You're telling me some all powerful king of a distant planet wants me to be his second in command in some inter-galactic peace concord." Liz resisted the urge to laugh. "Me, a senior bio-chem major. I think he'd do a lot better looking down the street at the poli-sci department. Lots of smart people there, much better help."

"Liz, you know this isn't about diplomacy," Alex remarked softly.

"Well, what is it about? The fact that I used to date one of the other leaders? Because I'll tell you right now, I don't think that's going to be much of a bonus."

"It may have something to do with that. Don't discount your influence over Max." Liz opened her mouth to protest but Alex cut her off. "I know I don't know everything, but I speak from a different perspective. When you get a little distance, some things get clearer. You might be surprised the influence you can have on people, even when you think they could care less about you. Just keep that in mind."

"Damnit, Alex. I'm done with this," Liz contended, her voice full of bravado, as though she were trying to convince herself as well as Alex. "I don't want to keep anything involving Max in mind. I've been finished with anything alien related for some time."

"Is that right?" Alex replied.

"Yes, it is," she insisted.

Alex looked at her thoughtfully and for a few moments Liz wondered if he was going to drop the issue. Instead he asked her a question.

"Does that happen often?" He looked over her shoulder and with a nod of his head drew her attention to something behind her.

"What?" she asked as she turned to see what he was referring to.

"How many other things have you blown up lately?" As he spoke her eyes were drawn to the shards of lamp in the hall.

"Uh? Oh, well, another lamp in my bedroom the other day. But I was really stressed and tired and..." Liz turned back around to look at him, eyes narrowed. "I don't like what you're getting at."

"Liz, whether you like it or not, and look, I understand the not, you _are_ a part of this mess. And it's those powers you've got, the ones we've danced around discussing, that are the real reason Larek needs you."

"Well I don't want to be needed by him or any other alien. I want out!" she declared fervently. "Out of this stupid insanity, out of the world of aliens."

"Then why do you keep up with a certain Dupe we all know and love?" Alex quickly returned.

Liz inwardly cursed. So much for that excuse.

"How did you know? Never mind," she shook her head. "Advanced being, I remember."

"Well that and the picture of the two of you is pretty much a giveaway." He gestured toward the side table. There, among several other pictures, her backpack, and the phone, was the incriminating photo. "I see she's still working the punk look."

"Yeah, well, she blends in just find out in L.A. And as for Ava, she just helps me with these powers."

"And that's it?" Alex asked innocently but Liz knew he wasn't going let her get away with that explanation.

"All right, all right," she sighed. "No, that's not it. She's my friend. There, you've got me to admit it. My name is Liz Parker and I'm still friends with an alien."

"Aliens Anonymous, huh? Is Maria your sponsor?"

Liz ignored his attempt at humor.

"Speaking of Ava, why not go to her? She knows the history of these planets so much better than I do," Liz found herself getting excited at her own suggestion. This was a perfect solution to both their problems. "She's brilliant, too, and for all her multi-colored and pierced exterior, really sensible. She's bound for great things, and yes, those are my superhuman instincts telling me that. She'd be a great choice for a second. Plus she'd probably be able to handle Max better. From what she's told me about Zan, Max sounds like he has developed some similar traits. She'll know how to deal with him so much better than I could."

"Liz, I think you're right about Ava, in that she's an incredible woman with a great future ahead of her. I don't think that future involves this council, though. Do you really think Max will be able to get past seeing Tess' face to hear anything Ava has to say?"

"No," Liz conceded in disappointment. "I suppose you're right."

Not to be so easily defeated, another idea popped into her head. "What about Kyle, then? He's just as connected to this mess and he's got alien powers too." Even as Liz suggested this she realized both that she was pulling straws and that Kyle would offer her no thanks for the nomination.

"I'm sure the council would be most impressed by Kyle's ability to blow things up and create fireballs that accidentally engulf his roommate's bed while you and Maria watch in horror."

Liz eyed Alex suspiciously. "I thought you said you didn't know details."

"Well, just a few of the more amusing ones," Alex confessed. "Including that one involving you and the blind date from hell your freshman year."

"Oh geez, Alex," she muttered, rolling her eyes at her friend. "You know that one? Well, there's your proof I'm not a good choice for your council. After that radio contest debacle, I agreed to try another blind date. And you apparently know how horrible it was."

"Oh come on," Alex jovially challenged. "The part where he tried to lick your hand at dinner was pretty funny."

"Not if it was your hand being licked," she retorted.

"Well as much as I would love to tease you about that night, I need to stop digressing." Alex smiled and continued. "As I was saying, the council might be impressed with Kyle's powers but it's not what they need. They need you, Liz. They need your special and unique gifts."

"I don't know what you mean," she proclaimed in attempted ignorance.

"I think you do. You know lots of things, and that's the point. When I appeared in your room, you knew it was me and not some shapeshifter or an illusion."

Oh, he was good.

"Well, I – "

"And you knew beyond any doubt," he cut her off, "that I wouldn't kill myself even though all the evidence pointed to that conclusion."

"Well, of course I knew that," she exclaimed. "Best friends know each other. I knew you would never end your own life."

"Best friends may know each other, but you've got an edge." As he spoke, she knew he was right. Her powers had begun manifesting themselves even then; it was more than just best-friend-instincts that led her to the junkyard and his car so many years ago. "Your ability to read people, to sense their feelings and emotions will come in real handy in a meeting where there is little trust on any side. This gift has helped you countless times. Liz, let it be of benefit to others."

"Nice, Alex," she muttered. Of course he would appeal to her "do-gooder" side, as Michael used to say. And of course it worked to weaken her resolve.

"And look at it this way, this job comes with some pretty good perks, including your very own Guardian to guide you through it all. Think of it Liz, if you do this, I'll get to help you and spend time with you in the process."

"Oh, so now you're resorting to blackmail? Not very angelic of you there," she quipped. He had a point though. That was an excellent perk.

"Hey remember, I said no halo. And no, I'm not trying to blackmail you. Just trying to highlight the positive."

Liz sighed, all attempts at feigned ignorance and false bravado gone. She had to deal with this seriously, but she had been avoiding it like crazy. Somewhere inside she knew the moment she seriously considered what Alex was saying would be the same moment she agreed to it all. Still, sometimes it felt good to fight off the inevitable.

"It's not that I can't do this. It's just..." She tried to find the words to express her concern. "Alex, it took me a lot of time, energy, tears, and a couple bad incidents with tequila for me to get over this. Well, based on my initial reaction tonight I suppose we know I'm not over it. I guess I'm never over it. But I've worked through these issues enough that I can live a semi-normal life. I'm afraid that if I go back into the crazed world of alien kings, of one king in particular, I won't recover."

"Liz, I don't know what's going to lie ahead," Alex admitted honestly. "What I do know is that you would not be called on if the Greatest Being thought you would be definitely doomed by it all. I'm not saying it won't hurt or that it won't be scary or that it won't bring up old issues you had laid to rest. What I am saying is that no matter what comes your way, I will be there with you, listening to you and loving you."

"Alex, I'm scared," she confessed, her voice breaking a little as she spoke, causing Alex to move down the couch so he was sitting right next to her.

"I know. This work is scary stuff. But Liz -" he beseeched as he reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. That was something her mother used to do to comfort her. It still worked. "It's also amazing stuff. You have a chance to help bring peace to not just one world, but many. How many senior bio-chem majors can say the same? You are truly an extraordinary woman and here is another chance to use your gifts, and I'm not just talking about the superhuman ones, to do extraordinary things."

Liz said nothing for a moment. Instead she chewed on her lip as tried to fight the feeling of - not destiny, never destiny. Perhaps serendipity. When she finally did speak, she could barely hear her own voice.

"All right," she sighed. "I'll do it."

"Liz, are you sure?" Alex asked, concern clear in his voice. "I meant what I said about you not having to accept this."

"What, so after all that you're going to tell me never mind?" she asked, confused.

"No, not never mind. I just don't want you to think that I'd think any less of you, or that somehow you wouldn't still be the amazing and caring woman that you are if you didn't agree."

Liz's eyes grew wet as she looked at her dear friend. It was no wonder he had been chosen to be one of these Guardians. She knew he meant what he said, about not thinking any less of her. But she also knew he meant what he said about the chance to bring peace to several worlds. There was no real way she could say no to that. Those Greater Beings knew what they were doing sending Alex to her. She could only hope they were as wise when it came to sending her to this council.

"I know that Alex," she replied in attempt to ease his concern for her. "But you're right. This is amazing stuff and I've got gifts that can help the world. But let me say this, if there really is a Saint Peter at the pearly gates keeping track of what goes on down here, I want double points for this."

Alex grinned at her statement and she knew she had succeeded in easing his worry. "Um, things don't really run on a 'point system,' but I know you'll be remembered for this."

Liz looked past Alex to her window. Outside snow had begun to fall. When she first moved to Boston, people had warned her that she would hate the snow, that she would miss the desert. Well, she may miss the desert occasionally, but she didn't hate the snow. In fact, she loved it. It made her feel as innocent as a kid, free in the possibilities of her imagination. Right now she had to hope this snowfall was a sign. Please be a sign, please be a sign, she chanted to herself.

The sharp shrill of the phone cut off her chanting. Liz glanced at the clock on the mantle. It was nearly 3am. Who -

"Maria," Alex interrupted her thoughts.

"What?"

"I bet that's Maria. Didn't you say she was going to call?"

"Oh my god," Liz muttered. "I completely forgot."

"Understandable," Alex replied. "Look, answer the phone. I'll be back tomorrow after you talk with Larek. Good luck Lizzie. And remember -"

"I know. Say nothing about you."

"Thank you," Alex said even as he dissolved out of her sight. That might take as much getting used to as the appearing thing.

"Maria?" Liz asked as she picked up the phone and cradled it to her ear.

"Hey babe, did I wake you?" Liz could tell that even if she had Maria wouldn't have cared. She was clearly excited, and it didn't take special gifts to be able to tell that. This had to be good news.

"Nope," she answered. "I'm sensing congrats are in order."

"Liz, I love you but turn that thing down once in a while. Let me surprise you."

"Okay, sorry," Liz laughed. "I'll work on that. So?"

"So, he loved me!" Maria shrieked so enthusiastically Liz had to pull the phone away from her ear.

"That's fantastic. Tell me all about it."

As Maria began telling her story, Liz forced herself to listen to every word she was saying. There would be plenty of time to obsess over her decision later. Plenty of time to wonder what in the world she just agreed to. Plenty of time to dread seeing Max.


	5. Sister

**Part 4**

Sister

Flipping through the channels on the tv, Liz tried to resist the notebook on the coffee table. She had gotten it out two days ago after her phone call with Larek. That had been an interesting conversation. When he called she could tell he was anticipating a long, drawn-out dialogue in which he would have to pull out all the stops to convince her to join him in New York. Luckily for him, Alex had already done all the difficult work. Of course, he didn't know that and so when she readily agreed, she could tell he was caught off guard. He managed to recover well, probably chalking her easy agreement up to her gifts, and gave her travel and lodging details. He didn't delve too much into the council but what he did say reaffirmed what Alex had told her. He openly admitted they needed her ability to sense what people were feeling; he only alluded to her particular connection with Max. Still she could tell, both with her sense and with her intellect, he had hopes that she would be some sort of good influence on Antar's erstwhile king. That with Liz there he would play nice. Apparently Larek was seriously out of the loop.

After that phone call, Alex had appeared to her. He didn't stay long; she had to finish up her thesis lab report so it would be done before she left for break and for New York. He did ask her again if she was sure she wanted to do this and she said yes, with a little more enthusiasm than the night before.

The more she thought about what was ahead, the more she realized she could do this. She was strong person. She hadn't let Max get in the way of her living her life; she wasn't going to let him get in the way of her helping to bring peace.

Once Alex left with promises of meeting her in New York, she rummaged through her bedroom closet for the book that was now sitting on her coffee table. She usually only broke it out during those two hard anniversary weeks but she thought it might be helpful to remind herself of how things had turned out, though she somewhat doubted she needed reminding. It would do her absolutely no good to look into those amber eyes and find herself distracted by memories of love long lost. She needed to be able to looking into those eyes and feel nothing.

And yet her journal sat on the coffee table, unopened. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to read it and time was running out. Maria's flight should have gotten in by now and she would be home within the hour. It was going to be hard enough explaining about the council and why she agreed to it without having to deal with issues her journal would raise.

"Oh, just open the stupid thing," she commanded herself. "It's not like you haven't read it before."

With a burst of determination, she turned off the tv, picked up her journal, and opened it to a familiar passage. The handwriting was slightly and uncharacteristically illegible and in several places the words had been smeared by water, more specifically her tears.

_April 30, 2001 ___

_The night of prom I walked out of school determined to move on with my life. It's kind of hard to move on with your life when something happens to grind it to a complete halt. ___

_Alex is dead. ___

_Alex is dead. ___

_Alex is dead._

___I don't know, maybe if I write it down so many times it will start to seem real. But it's not real, is it? It can't be. ___

_No, Liz. Alex is dead. ___

_God, this is... All the agony I've experience in my relationship with Max - it's so easy, so innocent. It's the pain of great romantic tragedies. Someone could write a story about our doomed love and young girls would weep tender tears at our fate. ___

_Who cares? Alex's death isn't a romantic tragedy. These tears aren't tender. The pain is real. It's cold, hard, vomit-inducing. ___

_And it's my fault. I've traded an early wedding for Alex's early funeral. _

Liz was slightly taken aback at how the words didn't connect any more. She remembered that feeling of guilt, she lived with it for so long after all. Yet she no longer knew it intimately. Amazing what one night could do. Of course, she already knew that. Her life seemed to be filled with dramatic nights, the worst being the night Alex died. She didn't want to think about the other one that still haunted her but given her upcoming trip, she knew she had to face it sooner or later.

Liz flipped through her journal to find the entry she had written the morning after. It wasn't very long, but it was something she had believed just as much as she believed in her guilt.

_Sept 20, 2001 ___

_It's over. Truly and completely over._

And yet just like her thoughts about her guilt, this too was being challenged. It wasn't over. It would probably never be over. Somehow she would have to find a way to come to peace with that.

A key in the door and a muffled curse let Liz know Maria was home. Shoving her journal beneath a couch cushion, Liz got up to let Maria in. Maria apparently had better luck with the door than she did; Liz hadn't yet made her way to the hall when the door had burst wide open and Maria let out a "Lucy, I'm home!" as she threw her arms up in the air. Liz headed straight for her best friend and the two girls squealed as they wrapped their arms around one another in a huge hug.

"Let's take this inside before Mrs. Patterson comes racing out here, pot in hand, ready to battle no-account burglars," Maria grinned as she broke from Liz's tight hold and reached for her luggage.

"Never, ever, ever be gone that long," Liz scolded lovingly as she shut the door behind her best friend. "I got so lonely around here I started playing your demo cd on repeat. Talk about a sign of desperation."

Shoving her bags in the direction of her room, Maria laughed. "Nope, I'd say that's just a sign of great musical taste."

"Well, that's true too. Still, I'm completely serious. I may be growing utterly co-dependant, but I don't care. You're not allowed to leave."

Maria rolled her eyes as she reached in for another hug. "Babe, you should be co-dependant. We're gonna be little old ladies together who—being way to cool for a nursing home—are gonna travel the world until we both die in a tragic and mysterious boating accident."

Now it was Liz's turn to raise her brow. "Tragic and mysterious boating accident?"

"Totally," Maria grinned as she made her way to their couch and sat down upon the exact cushion Liz had hidden her journal beneath. "It'll be a great addition to my _Behind the Music _and as long as it's mysterious, people will forever speculate if world-famous singer Maria DeLuca and her best friend scientist Liz Parker are still out there in the world, doing good and singing pretty."

"Hey, last time you waxed dramatically about our futures, it was Nobel Prize winner Liz Parker and her best friend songwriter Maria DeLuca. What's with the change?" Liz jokingly asked as she joined her friend on the couch, trying not to fixate on where Maria was sitting.

"Well," Maria drawled, "since I've got a hot producer wanting to sign me and I haven't seen any Sweds calling you, I think my updated version is a little more realistic."

"Are you sure you're not going all prima donna on me now?" Liz teased, trying to keep any nervousness out of her voice as she watched Maria struggle to get comfortable on the couch.

"What do you mean 'going?' I've always been a prima donna. I know you haven't forgotten that show I put on for you and Alex in 6th grade. All those costume changes, the sequins, and - " Maria cut her trip down memory lane short, distracted by her inability to get comfortable. "What in the world is under here?"

Liz stopped herself from tackling her best friend as Maria reached under the cushion and pulled out the dreaded object.

"What..." Maria's eyes narrowed as she looked up from the journal in her hands to Liz.

"Hey, how'd that get there?" Liz offered weakly. Watching Maria roll her eyes again as she put the journal on the coffee table, Liz knew she wasn't going to let her get away with it that easily.

"Liz, I thought you burned this thing."

Liz let out a faint laugh. "No, you just kept telling me I should."

"I still stand by that statement. What are you doing, girl?" Maria chided in concern. "This is so not healthy."

"It's not like I've been reading it non-stop or anything," Liz replied in defense. "In fact I only opened it like 15 minutes before you got home."

"Well, why did you open it at all?"

Good question. Now all she had to do was figure out a good answer.

"Something happened while you were gone, Maria," Liz began to explain.

"Oh my god, did the Great and Almighty Max contact you? Did he lower himself to talk with a measly human? What the hell does he want after all these years? Does he need you to shine his crown or fluff a pillow for his royal head? Or has actually he come down off his high throne and figured out that he needs help?"

Alex should be grateful he hadn't been sent to talk Maria into helping out with anything involving Max. She blamed him for hurting her best friend just as much as she blamed him for her ruined relationship with Michael. She and Michael had been doing great until Max called him back to Roswell for another top-secret mission. While it had been her and Michael's relationship that crumbled, it was Max who Maria focused all her anger upon.

"No, Maria, I haven't heard from Max," Liz assured her friend.

"Okay, then what's with the book of memories that belong in the past?"

"I didn't hear from Max, but I did get a phone call from someone from Roswell. Or rather, someone who used to visit Roswell on occasion." Liz began to tell Maria her story, minus the parts about Alex. She told her about her conversation with Larek, about being his second at the council. She told her that, yes, it would mean seeing Max and possibly Isabel and Michael. She told her she was scared out of her mind but excited too. While Liz was explaining everything Maria had managed to hold her tongue. She made occasional faces but didn't say a word. For Maria, that was a miracle.

"So I'm going to New York in five days."

Maria shook her head in bewilderment. "I can't leave you alone for more than a couple days, can I?"

"I guess not," Liz replied, offering her friend a smile.

Maria looked at Liz intensely and Liz wondered if she was about to break out in some sort of rant about aliens or about how crazy Liz was allowing herself to get sucked back in. Instead, she asked, "How long is this going to take?"

Liz let out a sigh of relief. Whatever she might be muttering in her head, Maria was going to skip the rant and head straight to support. "I don't know, a week, maybe two. I called my folks and told them my thesis was going to take a little bit longer than I thought. I said I'd see if I could find a few days in February when I can come home."

"And we're back to the lying and covering again."

"So it seems."

"Babe, I thought we were done with this."

Liz gave Maria a tired smile. "Me too. But I guess you could say because of my special gifts I'll never be done with it. I just don't know what they think I can do. I mean, I guess they hope I'll be able to read everyone and advise accordingly. And I think I can do that. But how in the world am I supposed to help Max be smart? We haven't had anything resembling a conversation since..."

"Since that phone call," Maria supplied.

"Yeah, that." Liz shivered as she remembered the last phone call she had gotten from Max, the last time Max had resembled the boy she fell in love with.

_Liz was dreaming about men named Brad and showering petals when something woke her up. Eyes foggy from sleep, she glanced at the clock and saw that it was 2am. She heard the phone ring and knew she had found the culprit. Though Max had left more than three months ago in search of Tess and hadn't contacted her since he left, she also knew it was him. ___

_"Max?" she answered groggily into the phone. ___

_No one responded. ___

_"Max? Are you okay?" ___

_"I'm sorry to call so late," a low voice answered back. At the sound of that voice, Liz's heart started beating faster. They weren't together and things were weird between them, but it didn't matter. She hadn't realized how much she missed just the sound of his voice. ___

_"No, don't worry about it. I'm glad to hear from you," Liz insisted as she sat up in her bed. ___

_"I - I don't know why I'm calling." Max's voice was full of frustration. ___

_"It's okay," she assured. God, he sounded so tired and troubled. "Where are you?" ___

_"That doesn't matter. What matters is I'm not where Tess is," Max said bitterly. ___

_"Are you still looking for her?" Maybe he would let go of this mission. From what Michael told Maria during their few phone calls, each time they arrived into a town and had just missed Tess, he seemed to withdraw even further into himself. ___

_"I'm not giving up until I find her." ___

_"I'm worried about you," Liz softly confessed. "When it comes to Tess, you're not yourself. Max, you're dealing with forces of the past here - old enemies, old deals, old relationships." ___

_He didn't say anything. Maybe she shouldn't be alluding to his behavior since he and Tess had gotten closer. But she was concerned. He had been horrible to her, horrible to Isabel. It wasn't like him. When the aliens had left in search of Tess, he had grown even harder, if that was possible. And with what Michael had said... she didn't know how much further he could go without losing himself completely. ___

_"Come home, Max," she pleaded. She didn't know if he would listen to her, but she had to try. "Please, just come home. ___

_"How can you say that?" he asked in disbelief. "She killed Alex." ___

_"I know that," she insisted. "Trust me, I know why Alex died." ___

_"Then how can you want me to let her go?" ___

_"I don't," she whispered. "God, I don't. But I don't want to lose anyone else to her either." ___

_Silence again. Liz felt a little awkward as the seconds past. She had already lost Max to Tess in so many ways. It probably wasn't a good idea to bring up those issues even in passing. ___

_"Liz," he said breaking the silence. The way he said her name... it was the way he used to speak it, as if it were the most important word he knew, as if it were his lifeline. "I, I can't. She knows too much; she's too much of a liability." ___

_"Don't you think she's already told your enemies all she knows?" ___

_"No, I don't. It's got to be her only bargaining chip. She doesn't have us, she doesn't have the seal, she's got nothing except any information she can provide. That information is her only ticket out of here. She's not telling anything until she gets her bag of silver." ___

_"Max," Liz sighed. "It's been months. What if you never find her?" ___

_"I can't give up," he replied wearily. God, he sounded so, so tired. Though she knew she shouldn't, she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms and offer him comfort. ___

_"Max, you can. I know it seems crazy, but you can," she pleaded, her voice full of emotion. "You don't have to kill yourself in this search. Please, just- just come home." ___

_"I can't," he reiterated, his voice cooler than it was before. She understood what Michael had meant by withdrawing into himself. She could already tell he was putting back up whatever shields he had let down. "I won't come home until she's dead." ___

_"Max, just take care of yourself, please." If he wouldn't come back home, she hoped at the very least he thought about himself and not just about finding Tess. ___

_"Right, sure," he answered distractedly. He obviously wasn't going to listen to her pleadings. ___

_"Max," she quietly spoke, letting her concern and even her care for him seep into her voice. ___

_"I should go, I'm sorry I bothered you," he muttered, his voice completely devoid of emotion. ___

_"You didn't..." Liz began to reassure Max but he had already hung up the phone. _

"Liz, hey, Liz."

Liz's attention came back to the present as Maria snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"What? Oh sorry," she said with embarrassment.

"Look at this," Maria groaned. "You're already being sucked into the black hole that is Max Evans."

"I know, I know," Liz replied dejectedly.

"Girl, what are we going to do with you? Every time you go there, you come undone."

"I know," Liz muttered. She hated that she could slip back into that world, the world where Max was so important, where every moment with him was either heaven or hell.

"Well," Maria said with a burst of energy, "you are definitely going to need reinforcements. I have meetings and have to turn in my independent project but I can be in New York in a week."

"Just because I'm sucked back into the alien abyss doesn't mean you have to be," Liz insisted though she was incredibly touched by the offer.

"Who said anything about aliens?" Maria retorted. "Girl, we haven't had a weekend in New York in ages. Every time I play 'The Living Room'Greg asks about you. It's time you paid a visit. Shake your groove thing and make a bunch of hot men drool. It's an essential part of any trip to the island."

"Maria," Liz let out in laughter.

"I'm serious," Maria replied, her eyes twinkling. "Mom and Jim will have to accept having only Kyle home for break. He won't thank me for leaving him alone with the love birds, but he'll deal. I'm not going to let you get too crazed by this alien business again. You're going to do this council thing during the day and at night we're going to paint the town."

"Thank you," Liz replied warmly. "That means so much to me."

"What are best friends for, I ask you?" Maria quipped as she got up from the couch. "Now, we only have five days. We need to get you ready to see this asinine E.T. We've got outfits to plan, a fresh look to figure out, and a heart to harden against any gorgeous alien eyes that look your way. We'll call Kyle and see if he has any suggestions. I'm sure he's got a couple exercises to keep you calm."

Liz watched as Maria paced back and forth in front of the couch, wheels clearly turning. She was so grateful Maria was going to help her prepare. Maybe, just maybe, between the two of them and with Kyle's input, she would be ready to see Max.

Five days later Liz was hoping all their efforts were going to work. She was standing in the lobby of the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City, the lodgings Larek had arranged for her during the council meeting. Being an alien king must be better paying than it used to be. Her room, actually, her suite was amazing and she was currently waiting for not a taxi, but a limo to pick her up. A limo which would take her to some undisclosed place where she would see Max for the first time in almost four years.

She wasn't going to fixate on her up-coming meeting. Fixating was bad, or at least both Maria and Kyle kept telling her that. No, instead she would pass the time by taking in her surroundings. She'd been to New York quite a few times over the past four years. It wasn't that far from Boston, Maria had shows here occasionally, and they both had friends that had moved to the city after graduation. In fact when Maria arrived in the city in a few days she would be staying with one of their friends, Justin. Liz had offered to share her hotel suite, there was certainly enough room, but Maria had insisted that she didn't want to be any place where aliens might drop by.

She might have been to New York, but she had never stayed at a place so nice. Looking around the lobby, Liz thought it was a shame Michael wasn't staying here. Not that she would want he and Maria to run into one another if Maria came by, especially not if Michael was still living Max's life and not his own as Maria had put it. But she and Michael had become actual friends over the year or so between the aliens' two disappearing acts and she was sure Michael would love this space. It was a large, open room with traditional marble floors and potted plants. Fancy, but nothing too exciting. One section of the floor, though, was pure Michael. It was an amalgam of whirling shapes and colored stripes that some how made sense and that he would love.

Shrugging off thoughts of her old friend, Liz focused on her reflection in one of the mirrored columns. She didn't know if Maria's heart hardening plan was going to work, but the new look definitely did. She looked good, damn good. Maria had helped Liz picked out a "power outfit," something that said "I'm a woman you don't want to mess with," something that said "Max Evans eat your heart out." She was wearing a classic black suit with slim fitting pants and a single breasted jacket that managed to enhance what little chest she had. Her boots gave her an extra few inches, which she would need if she wanted to stand face to face with Max and not let him look down on her, literally. Perhaps Maria's crowning achievement was Liz's hair. Not that she cut it herself, but Maria had been after Liz for years to try a shorter look. Two days ago they had gone to Maria's salon and Liz let them cut off her long locks. Now instead of the long tresses that Max used to love to thread his hands through, she was sporting layered hair with ends that brushed her shoulders and feathered strands that framed her face . Maria was right, this was a great look for her. She should have done this years ago.

"Nice hair," a voice called out from behind her. Liz whipped around to see a familiar brunette smiling at her.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Liz hissed in concern as she quickly glanced around the lobby. "I thought you said no one else is supposed to see you."

"What, you don't think with all these extra-special abilities I can't manage something like selective revelation? Please, don't insult me."

"Oh," Liz replied dully, feeling slightly embarrassed at her overreaction. "So I'm the only one who can see you then."

"Yep. To everyone else looking this way you're just another crazy lady talking to herself."

"Great, just what I need," she muttered as she glanced around the room again to see a few other guests staring at her. Lowering her voice and keeping her mouth as still as possible, she said, "It's good to see you."

"You too," Alex grinned. "Maria did a great job getting you ready. You look hot, but in a smart and no-nonsense kind of way."

"Thanks Alex," Liz replied, stifling a laugh. "So, are you going to join me this morning since you can do that selective revelation thing?"

"No, you get to do this on your own."

"I 'get to,' huh? What an honor," Liz responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Then are you here to give me a last minute pep talk?"

"Pretty much," Alex exclaimed, his grin getting even wider.

"You know, it would be an even better pep talk if you were in a cheerleading uniform," Liz challenged, her eyes twinkling with laughter. "It's been years since I've seen that and I think I would feel much more confident if "Alexandra" gave me a cheer."

"I'm so sorry," Alex apologized, though his insincerity was never in doubt. "Dressing in drag is beneath a Guardian's dignity, at least that's what the G.B.s tell me."

"Is that right?" Liz challenged, her brows imitating Alex's patented look. "That's pretty convenient."

"Eh, who's going to argue with those that are greater than you?"

"Whatever," Liz grinned as she rolled her eyes. "So, hit me with what you've got. What pearls of last minute wisdom are you going to throw my way."

"Nothing you haven't heard before." Alex's face grew more serious as he continued. "Liz, you're a bright, capable woman with some pretty special gifts and an amazing heart. Just follow that heart Liz, let it lead you. Trust in yourself and you won't be sorry."

Hearing Alex's words Liz felt her mouth go dry and a lump form in her throat. "Alex, where did you... how did you..." Her voice trailed off as emotion overcame her.

"Where did I hear that? Let's just say I know someone who also thinks you're going to do wondrous things. We _both_ believe that you're going to be a blessing to this council and that you can face the things that fill you with fear."

"Oh. Thank you," Liz whispered. She hadn't thought about what it meant that Alex was dead; she never thought that he might be able to talk with others who had passed. Hearing her grandmother's words from Alex, feeling her support through him, was overwhelming. And just what she needed.

Alex bent over and kissed his friend on her forehead. He looked deep into her eyes and gave her a loving and knowing smile. Liz offered him a smile back.

"Okay, enough of the emotional pep talk," Alex declared with enthusiasm, bringing them both out of the serious moment in good humor. Another Alex specialty. "Let me tell you what I'm sure Maria would if she were here. Get your shoulders back, boobs out, and go kick some butt!"

Liz laughed as Alex demonstrated what he meant. "I think I can do that. But you do it so well. Are you sure you don't want to come with?"

"Yep," Alex laughed as his eyes focused on something behind Liz. "Looks like your ride is here. I'll see you when you get back."

"Ms. Parker?" A voice from behind asked her, drawing her attention from her ghostly friend.

"Yes?" She answered as she turned around to see a well-dressed man standing near by, his desire to be helpful calling out to her through her senses. Was this Larek?

As if sensing her question, the man replied, "My name is Whitmore and I will be your driver. Your limo is here at your convenience."

"Um, thanks," Liz tried not to blush as she answered. How weird. A limo at her convenience. Liz turned back around to say goodbye to Alex, only to discover he had gone. She didn't get to ask him whether or not he would be watching what happened, even if he wasn't going to advise her during the meeting.

"I'm ready now, thank you." Liz was even more startled when Whitmore walked over with a "very good, madam," took the coat that had been draped on her arm, and held it out for her. Liz couldn't help but blush as he helped her into her coat. "Thank you," she mumbled as she fastened the coat. Maria would love this. Talk about feeling like a prima donna.

Following Whitmore through the front doors, Liz found herself staring at a long black limo. There were red and white flags she couldn't place flying on the ends of the car. Apparently Larek had managed to swing diplomatic immunity. Whitmore opened the limo door and Liz slipped into the car. Sitting on the side seat, calming looking at her, was an extremely distinguished looking Arabic man. Liz tried to sense him and found determination to be the most prevalent emotion. This man had to be Larek.

"Ms. Parker, I am Larek," he introduced himself, offering his hand out to her. She took it and felt that determination in his grip as well. "It's good to finally meet you."

"It's good to meet you, too. It's nice always to meet aliens who aren't trying to kill me."

Larek smiled slightly at her comment. "Yes, I imagine you had several unfortunate run-ins during your Roswell days."

"Oh, a few here and there," Liz confirmed as she smiled back. She was glad to see this alien king had a sense of humor, even if it wasn't a highly expressive one.

"While you are going to meet several aliens who may not offer you their hand in welcome, please know that as my second you are guaranteed safety from harm."

"Well, that's good news," Liz replied. The real question was could he guarantee safety from emotional damage? "So, um, who's body is this? I'm guessing they come with the limo."

"I am borrowing the body of a diplomat from Bahrain," he answered as he gave Whitmore a signal that she assumed meant they were ready. "He apparently has a habit of disappearing from his duties for drinking expeditions. Combined with his resources, his behavior makes him a perfect host for my needs. I only need worry if his fellow countrymen will tire of his antics and send him home."

"And Whitmore?" Liz queried as she buckled herself in as the car began to move.

"There are a few humans loyal to my people here on Earth. They prepare the bodies of hosts and address any other needs I may have."

"Like transportation," she offered. That explained the posh accommodations.

"Indeed. Though for this trip, Whitmore will be at your service. I am accompanying you this morning, but will not after this ride. Unless of course it would please you that I do so." This time when he spoke Liz noticed a faint British accent in his rich voice, not surprising for an Arab diplomat. She smiled to herself as she wondered what it was about Larek and British-toned men. 

"Ms. Parker," Larek began before Liz cut him off with a "Please, call me Liz."

"Liz," he corrected smiling slightly again. "I want to thank you again for your assistance in this council. With your help, I hope that we will have a successful outcome."

"I will do all that is within my power to help bring peace to your worlds," Liz pledged in sincerity. The weight of her role was starting to feel like a reality.

"Thank you."

"I want you to know, however, that I will not be used in anyway to shock Max into doing something," Liz warned. "I know that you are hoping that somehow our old connection will work in your favor, but Max no longer feels strongly about me. And even if he did, I wouldn't allow myself to be used to manipulate him. I wouldn't do that to him or to myself."

"Liz, please, I have no such thought." As Larek assured her she could tell he meant what he said, though he still had some hopes she couldn't quite identify.

"Then what are you thinking?" Liz prompted. "I'm picking up something involving Max. Why don't you tell me what it is?"

Larek gave her his first full smile as he answered. "I'm glad I've had this opportunity to experience your gifts first hand. I do have some hopes involving Max. I think that you may be a good influence on him, that he may listen to your wisdom when he will not ours." Seeing her expression of doubt he held up his hand as if to ask her to let him continue speaking before she disagreed. "My belief is not based on your previous relationship exactly, rather on you. You can speak from a place and draw from a wisdom no one else can. You live in this human world as Max has for so long and yet you know of aliens and alien worlds. That you are a crossover is rare; that you are a crossover with such intellect and wisdom is even rarer; that you are a crossover with the ability to read people is unparalleled."

Liz felt more at ease hearing Larek's expectations. Still, she didn't want him to have the wrong idea about her gifts. "I can't read peoples' minds or anything. And I can't always guarantee an accurate interpretation of the emotions and feelings I'm getting from a person."

"Liz, I don't expect mind-reading or complete accuracy," Larek assured her again. "Just listen and advise where you feel led. Offer your wisdom where you think you can, wisdom based on any and all of your gifts."

Liz nodded in acceptance at his words. "All right. I can do that."

"I know we're going to work well together. Now, would you like some coffee, a latte, chai tea?" he asked directing her attention to the coffee bar in the limo.

Larek made her a nice chai tea and himself a coffee and they sat back as he filled her in on the other worlds' representatives. The ride wasn't long; after only a handful of well-navigated blocks by Whitmore, the limo pulled up to a building and came to a stop.

Looking out the window Liz raised her eyebrow at what she saw. "An off-Broadway theater?"

"Yes, well, the space was available and it just seemed appropriate."

"Appropriate?" As in 'all the world's a stage?' She didn't get it.

"Look at the playbill for the last show here," Larek answered smartly as he gestured toward the main doors.

Liz rolled her eyes as she saw what he meant; the playbill read _Abducted!_. "At least you aren't lacking in irony."

Whitmore opened the door and she and Larek entered the theater. They walked through the small lobby and Larek guided her down a back stairway and through some corridors. As they entered the backstage area of the theater, Liz's heart began racing. Taking a deep breath, she remembered the image Kyle suggested focusing on, a calm mountain lake. Closing her eyes and picturing her lake, Liz felt somewhat calmer.

From the left wing of the theater, Liz could see that the stage itself was dressed with a long black marble topped table and twelve leather high back chairs. Enough for each leader and their second. Maybe she could sneak in and be seated before Max even noticed she was there.

Standing in various corners of the stage were the other aliens. As Liz walked closer to the stage she could see them more clearly. To her left, standing downstage, was a well-dressed African-American man with glasses standing with a slender Hispanic woman. From what Larek had told her, she guessed that was Sero and his second. Several feet further downstage was a woman with curly red hair and a teenage boy who looked like he and Ava could compare fashion tips. Hanar and her second. Liz followed Larek onto the stage and could see on her right a heavier-set woman with dyed blonde hair, Kathana, and her second, an older, slightly balding man.

Standing near the blonde woman and talking to someone in front of him was Michael. He looked good. She'd have to remember to mention that to Maria. She'd be happy to know that even if he still hadn't broken free of Max, he was taking care of himself.

And speaking of Max...

Talking to Michael, with his back to her, was her ex-boyfriend, ex-love-of-her-life, ex-everything. His hair was about the same length as it had been last time she saw him, graduation, only shaggier. She could tell he had kept up with his workout regime, the charcoal pin-strip suit he wore fitting his well-toned frame nicely.

Michael looked over Max in Liz's direction and their eyes met; his widened in surprise.

"No, no, no," she tried to mouth to him but it was too late. He leaned in and said something to Max, probably something like "hey, if you don't remember what your ex-girlfriend—no, not the psycho killer one—looks like, there's your chance to jog that memory if you just turn around." Okay, Michael wouldn't say that. But he must have said something incendiary because Max tensed and quickly whipped around with an intensity that startled her. She hadn't roused that much interest from him in years.

His eyes locked with hers and she felt her knees melting. Deep breath, she silently commanded herself. Think calm mountain lake. Calm mountain lake. Calm freaking lake. "Not working Kyle," she muttered under her breath.

Those beautiful eyes never leaving hers, he strode over to her and she managed to silence the part of her brain that screamed at her to turn and run. So much for sneaking in unnoticed. The closer he got, the better view she got of him. His face appeared a little thin and she wondered if he didn't bother himself with such human frivolities as eating. And the closer he got, the better she could see the anger in his eyes. Alex, Larek, and whatever higher powers that were involved must have been crazy. This was never going to work.

He continued his determined stride until he was but a few feet in front of her. Actually, she rethought, it was probably closer than that because she could feel the heat off him. As if a lake could save her now. Before she could open her mouth and say something—what she didn't know—Max spoke.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

With that, Max Evans came crashing back into her life.


	6. Fugitive

**Part 5 ****  
**

Fugitive 

Conversations stopped and all heads turned their way as Liz was overwhelmed with the emotions she was picking up. Embarrassment, anger, amusement, frustration, disappointment, contempt; she couldn't tell which emotion was coming from where. Inhaling deeply, Liz used all the skills Ava had helped her develop to block out those potent emotions. She was going to have enough trouble reigning in her own feelings; she didn't need the entire room's issues bombarding her.

She needed to stay calm; she need to stay cool; she needed not to blow anything up. Squaring her shoulders and looking Max directly in the eye, she thought of something appropriate to say. Courtesy, however forced, seemed the best way to go.

"It's nice to see you too, Max," Liz replied, pleased at how calm she sounded.

"I asked you a question. Answer it," he growled as he leaned in closer to her.

Michael, who had quickly made his way to them after Max's 'greeting', placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, pulling him slightly away from Liz, and whispered in his ear. Liz offered her friend a smile when he looked her way and was saddened to see his smile in return tinged with weariness.

"My second here thinks I may be coming on too strong. Do I need to apologize?" His scorn was clearer with ever syllable he spoke.

Liz managed not to slap the condescending expression off his face.

"I thank your second for his concern but I've experienced more impressive intimidating tactics from the three year old I used to babysit."

A slick smile crossed his face. "I guess I'll have to work on that."

"You can try."

"Can I now?" he asked as his eyes slowly traveled from hers, down her body and back up. "And what exactly is it I can try?"

Do not slap, do not slap, do not slap, she inwardly chanted. She wouldn't let him intimidate her with anger and she sure as hell wasn't going to let him beat her with sex.

"I believe we were talking about you improving yourself," Liz proceeded coolly, refusing to let him get a rise out of her. "And as I recall, there are many areas in which you need improvement. Take your pick."

"Are you offering to help me in these, uh, areas?"

The suggestion in his deep voice made her feel ill; actually it was the small part of her that wanted to take Max up on his suggestion that made her feel ill. She opened her mouth to tell him something, "go to hell" was looking particularly good, when Michael stepped out from behind Max and drew her attention.

"Liz," he interjected quickly, glaring at Max and then looking back at her. "Look, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But what _are_ you doing here?"

Michael's care for her and concern that she was thinking poorly of him thanks to Max was coming to her in waves. He must have forgotten over the years to block her gift. When she had come into her powers toward the end of their senior year, Michael had helped her as best he could. After he left her and Maria in Boston to go help Max, Ava came into her life and served as a mentor. While no one could block her completely - if she wanted to sense what someone was feeling she could - they could stop their emotions from seeking her out; they could make her work for it. But Michael wasn't blocking at all; she could read him perfectly.

"It's nice to see you, Michael," she assured him, feeling his relief at her words. "As to why I'm here -"

"I believe I should be the one to answer that," Larek interrupted as he pulled away from the quite conversation he had been having with Whitmore who had joined them on the stage sometime after Max's outburst.

"So she's with you, Larek?" Max asked, turning his condescending look from Liz to the tall Arab behind her. "Didn't know you liked tasting other men's leftovers."

The green sparks that had begun to light up her fingers quickly disappeared as she felt Whitmore's hand on her shoulder, the reassurance she picked up through his touch countering her anger.

"And I didn't know you could grow even more asinine than you already were, so it looks like we're both learning something today."

Go Larek, Liz thought as she wished Alex were here to give him a proper cheer.

"I'm growing tired of this game," Max gritted as he turned his gaze back to her. "What is she doing here, Larek? Since when was it appropriate for the chair to bring guests?"

"Elizabeth Parker is here not only as my guest, and thus under my protection," Larek stated, the warning clear in his voice, "but also as my second."

Hah, Liz thought as she watched Max lose his composure for a moment. That wiped the cocky expression off his face. And in its place... As Max moved past her to stand toe-to-toe with Larek, she could have sworn she saw something else entirely. Something she hadn't seen in over four years. Something eerily close to concern... for her.

"She's your second?" Liz could see the muscles in his neck tensing as he spoke, as if he was struggling to contain his anger. "Larek, I think this little council you've put together is doomed. It's got a fool for a chair."

"A fool?" Larek queried with faux innocence. Max's maneuvers clearly weren't intimidating him either. "And why exactly do you say that?"

"She's just a human, Larek," he seethed, "in case that has escaped your notice. Nothing but a lowly human. What in the world does she know that can help you?"

Whatever it was she had thought she had seen on Max's face was clearly not really there, Liz thought as she silently chastised herself. How could she forget for one moment that Max never concerned himself with "lowly humans," not anymore?

"Apparently a lot, actually," Larek replied with a smile. "It's not everyday you meet Harvard's leading biochem student and discover she probably knows just as much about alien worlds as Antar's king emeritus. And she's not 'just' a human. As well as being one of the more intelligent humans I've come across, thanks to a certain incident seven years ago, she's quite a biologically advanced human.

Max turned back toward her with such intensity that both Whitmore and Michael stepped in between them.

"What does he mean, 'biologically advanced?'" he asked stiffly.

"I'm hurt you don't remember, Max," Liz said as she let her would-be protectors know she was fine with her tone. "What do you think let me save your life six years ago? Come on, tell me you remember that. If anything, I would think your love of self would burn that moment in your mind, no matter how degrading it might be to have been saved by a human."

She heard someone off to her left snicker and Larek cough as if to cover a laugh. Michael looked uncomfortable and Max looked completely unaffected by her words, at least to the outside observer. The slight tensing of his jaw suggested to Liz otherwise.

"You had that one moment," he replied slowly, "with Isabel and that was it. I hardly think that classifies you as an advanced human."

"And I hardly think you're an expert on my life, Max," Liz retorted. "The world moves on, people change, even if you're not around to witness it."

"So what are these, these so-called changes?"

"I - " Liz stopped short, looking toward Larek for guidance. She didn't know how much he wanted the council to know, didn't know if her power to sense people's emotions was something he wanted to keep to himself.

"Actually Max, I think this would be a perfect time to introduce Liz, and her gifts, to the whole council," Larek offered and Liz's attention was drawn from Max to the group watching their little melodrama unfold. In the limo Larek had informed Liz that she would be the only second unfamiliar to most of the council. The others had been a part of the conflict between the five planets for years. So here she was, the only outsider, the only human, and she had already managed to make a scene. Well, with help.

"Fine," Max replied gruffly, still staring at her. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but after a moment he just stepped away and walked to the edge of the stage, Michael following.

"As we are all, well, almost all here, I'd like to introduce you to my second, Elizabeth—Liz—Parker," Larek announced as the three other members of the council and their seconds gathered closer to them. Some were looking at her with interest, some with suspicion, and some with boredom. "Ms. Parker was shot and healed by Zan over seven years ago which resulted in the rapid evolution of her genetic make-up. She can do some basic things our hybrid friends can like change molecular structures and produce energy bursts. Her more specialized gift is something that I believe will help all of us."

"Is that so, Larek?" Hanar interjected in dry amusement. "And just what might this gift be? Getting a rise out of the ever volatile Zan? Any one of us can do that."

Liz flashed a quick look at Max, only to see that he had turned his back on the group and was staring out into the empty auditorium.

"I can read people's emotions, their feelings," Liz supplied, taking the opportunity to speak for herself and to prevent others from making similar comments about Max. Alex had suggested that she might be able to help him and while she still sincerely doubted her ability to really be affective with her ex, at least here she could divert the attention off him. "For example Hanar, when Larek first introduced me you were feeling bored and now that you know my gift you're feeling nervous, perhaps a little paranoid."

The woman stared at her in shock, a look which was duplicated on most of the faces around her. Max hadn't turned around but she could see Michael's expression. He appeared slightly uncomfortable and Liz wondered if he was thinking what to tell Max about his knowledge of her powers. She had asked him not to tell either Max or Isabel and he had respected her request. She couldn't read him anymore, though; he had apparently remembered to turn his block back on. Hanar, however, had not. Her emotions were coming over loud and clear.

"And while I can't read minds," Liz continued, "my experience with the initial reactions of the few who have known about my gift suggests to me that you are worried that I can do just that."

"You- you-," Hanar stuttered and her second flex his tattooed muscles.

"As Liz said she can't read minds," Larek interposed quickly. "She isn't here to fill me in on everything that's going on in your minds. She's here to help all of us keep this council open and honest, to make sure all our unvoiced concerns become voiced, to help build trust and make this venture successful."

"I'm sorry if I startled you," Liz apologized with sincerity. "I'm not used to telling people about my gifts. But what Larek said is true. I'm here because I want to make this work. And I can tell that all of you want that too."

Hanar nodded and both she and her second seemed placated by Liz's words. The woman walked over to Liz, her second following her, and offered her hand which Liz took.

"Then I welcome you here to this council," she graciously offered. She let go of Liz's hand and gestured to the punk behind her. "This is my second Tukaram."

Liz shook Tukaram's hand as the two other council members and their seconds stood near by, waiting to make personal introductions. As she greeted each person she could tell that some, Kathana and her second Baran specifically, were trying to block her from sensing their emotions. It didn't work, of course, but she wasn't going to mention that just yet. Sero was excited about having Liz on board, though his second Jael was more suspicious.

Once Liz had been introduced to the present council members and seconds, Larek suggested they begin the meeting. Only after others had begun to take their seats did Max finally turned around and make his way toward the table. Giving her coat to Whitmore, Liz tried to make eye contact with Max. She wasn't ready to use her gift on him, didn't want to feel what he was feeling quite yet, but she thought she'd see if she could tell the old fashioned way. He didn't look at her once on his way to the table.

Larek nodded to Whitmore who excused himself from the stage and led Liz over to their seats. Larek was placed at the head of the table with Liz to his right. Sitting next to her was Sero, who smiled at her as she sat down. Max and Michael were on the opposite side and end of the table. Liz was sure that was intentional. Only the chair across from her and the one at the other head of the table, across from Larek, were empty. Liz wondered both where Kivar and his second were and if anyone else noticed that the only two chairs left were not next to one another. And one, in fact, was right next to Max.

"Where's Kivar?" Liz inquired softly as she watched the others get settled.

"Waiting to make a grand entrance I'm sure," Larek replied deftly. "Ah, there he is now."

Liz looked to her left and right, into the wings of the theater, and saw no one. She glanced over at Max and saw him staring intensely out into the auditorium. Turning around in order to see what he was focused on, she noticed a tall man slowly walking down one side aisle of the theater. She couldn't see his features very well, the lights in the audience were off, but he carried himself with great authority. In fact, he wasn't so much walking down the aisle as he was sauntering. He would get to the stage when he wanted to get to the stage. This was beyond any doubt Kivar. The small conversations had stopped for him just as quickly as they had for her and Max's little scene.

"Not going to let us forget who's in control, are you," Liz heard Sero mutter. She may not have had any previous experience with this alien, but she knew Sero was dead right. Kivar wanted them all to know that he was here on his terms, not theirs. He wouldn't be as easily placated as Hanar. Given that they both appeared to like it so much, Liz knew it was going to be more than interesting to watch Max and Kivar battle for control.

"Glad you could make time to join us this morning, Kivar," Larek delivered without too much sarcasm seeping into his voice.

"Anything to please you, great and honorable chair," a deep, gravely voice declaimed. As Kivar walked up the stairs to the stage, Liz got a good look at him, well, at least the body that was serving as his host. He was a tall man in his mid-forties, with salt and pepper hair and a good tan. He looked like he should be the C.E.O. of a Fortune 500 corporation. Maybe he actually was.

"I take it from your lone entrance you've decided not to bring a second," Larek noted. Liz wondered if that was because Nicholas was dead. At least she assumed that by now he was.

"I have no such need," Kivar scoffed, his powerful voice carrying well across the stage. He scanned the table and when his eyes fell upon Liz, he smiled slyly. Noticing Kivar's look, Larek spoke.

"Kivar, I don't believe you've met -"

"No need for introductions, Larek," Kivar interrupted smoothly as he walked over to Liz. "This must be the infamous Liz Parker."

"I prefer to go just by Liz," she replied smartly, rising from her chair and holding out her hand to shake his as she had done with the other leaders. He took her hand, but instead of shaking it, raised it to his lips; Liz flashed back to that horrible blind date Alex had teased her about. She managed to let him briefly touch his lips to the back of her hand before quickly pulling it away. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Max glaring at them.

"Beautiful and spunky, just what I like in a woman," Kivar suavely divulged. "And to think, she's got these superpowers on top of all that. What a package."

Liz took a small bit of satisfaction in seeing Max's glare turn darker as he realized Kivar had known about her gifts and he hadn't. That satisfaction was quickly replaced with concern. How had Kivar known about her gifts?

"You look surprised, my dear," Kivar noted with a cock of his brow. "You shouldn't be. You are definitely one to watch. And I did, you know. Watch you. At least until an unfortunate accident ended the lives of my two little birdies who would sing such pretty songs about you."

"You had her watched, you son of a bitch?" Michael exploded as he started out of his seat. A quick shake of the head by Max stopped him short.

"Now, now, Rath. I appreciate the concern for your little friend's girlfriend." Though Kivar spoke to Michael, his eyes only met Max - Max whose neck and jaw muscles were tenser than she had ever seen. He apparently didn't like the fact that Kivar was keeping an eye on his old girlfriends any more than she did. "But no need to worry. I never wanted to harm her. If I had, you would have known it by now. No, I only wanted to keep up with what this spectacular woman was doing. I'm just an admirer."

"Kivar," Larek voiced firmly, "I hope it is understood that you will admire Miss Parker from afar. While you may not recognize the authority of Zan's protection, you will recognize mine."

"I do, I do. Not that I think she needs it. I have a feeling this one has more up her sleeve than either one of us knows." Inclining his head toward Liz he gave her another smile. "So sweetheart, let me know when you're ready to show off what you've got under there."

"I'll make sure you get the announcement in the mail." If Liz had been impressed with the way she had responded to Max's outburst, she was in awe of her own response now. Kivar, the evilest of evil aliens, had been watching her. For years. And yet in this discovery she managed to remain collected, with enough smartass to make Maria proud.

"Do, my dear," Kivar chuckled as he walked around the table to the seat across from her. "Do."

As Kivar settled in his seat, Larek leaned over and spoke softly in her ear. "You passed your first test nicely."

"Test?" Liz inquired quietly.

"I suppose what you might call a pop quiz," Larek offered. "Not only did you manage to charm some of my peers, you've shown every one here that you won't be intimidated by either of Antar's kings. That can only increase their respect for you."

"Goody for me," she mumbled. Taking a quick glance at Kivar, Liz wondered exactly how she was going to handle the alien. For all his talk, he wasn't interested in her sexually. For whatever reason, pheromones or what not, sexual desire was the easiest feeling for Liz to pick up. Made asking the occasional guy out a pretty fear-of-rejection free experience. And Kivar was definitely not giving out those signals. No, it was more like fascination. It actually reminded her of the emotion she picked up from her behavioral science prof when he was experimenting with rats. Perhaps that's what they all were to Kivar - rats who ran around the maze he created. And for whatever reason, she was currently his favorite rat.

"Now that we all are finally here, I would like to lay some ground rules."

As Larek began to detail the schedule and procedure for the council, Liz settled back and concentrated on the people around her. She began with the man in front of her, Kivar. He was currently looking at Larek but she knew he was aware that she trying to sense him. And from him she could only read that fascination with her as well as a desire to win. Win what, she didn't exactly know.

The other council members and their seconds were as she sensed before. They all desired peace, though some were more hopeful than others. Liz looked past Michael, she had already picked up enough of his emotions to know his main desire was to help his leader, to the man sitting on his left. Whatever anger Max had been struggling with was gone; the mask of control she had come to know so well their senior year was firmly in place. That's right Max, she thought, hide yourself for me. Make me work to figure you out.

Liz took a deep breath and concentrated on her gift. She reached out to Max with that gift, searching for his emotions, his feelings. Sensing nothing on the surface, which was not surprising, she reached even deeper and found...

Nothing.

Nothing, she was getting nothing. Not one emotion, one feeling, not even a block. It was as if he wasn't even there. But he was, her eyes and her heart certainly confirmed that. But she couldn't sense him at all. Liz cleared her mind as Ava taught her, took another deep breath, and tried again. And again, nothing. Either Max had managed to develop a block so advanced she could neither get through it nor detect it or for some reason the gift he had inadvertently given her didn't work on him.

Liz swallowed hysterical laughter. The man she was once more connected to than anyone else, the man who had given her visions, the man whose very soul she had seen, was now the one person she couldn't sense. Talk about being ironic. And distressing. The one advantage she thought she would have over Max was gone. Liz looked down at the cold marble surface of the table in an attempt to regain her composure. It wouldn't do for her to lose whatever respect she had gained by breaking into a fit of inappropriate crying or laughter.

"Why don't we cut to the chase," Max's voice called her out of her daze. She looked up to see him staring at her. Did he know she couldn't read him? Turning his gaze toward Kivar, he continued. "Kivar's the one that wanted this little meeting. Why doesn't he just fill us in on why we're all here."

"Always so impatient, Zan. You never learn your lesson, do you?" Kivar taunted Max, though his eyes were focused on his well-manicured nails.

"Perhaps I've never had a competent teacher," Max challenged his enemy, his face still clear of all emotion.

"I could arrange for that to change," Kivar growled, his attention now firmly fixed on Max.

"I think you've already had your chance at playing my tutor. It wouldn't be fair to the others to give you another shot just because you managed to blow the last one."

"Gentlemen," Larek interrupted with warning in his voice. "It will do us no good to bring up the past just yet."

Kivar, who had risen out of his seat, nodded as he resettled. Max, who didn't look bothered by the little exchange at all, shrugged slightly in agreement. Liz wondered how he managed to stay so calm. She had felt a shiver run down her own spine during their clash.

"If there aren't any questions about how we are going to precede," Larek paused for a moment to allow for quires but received none, "then the chair invites Kivar to present his proposal. While Kivar is speaking, I would ask that all of us," he looked directly at Max, "respect his time and hold our questions and comments until he has finished. Kivar, if you please."

"My offer is simple and one that you," looking at Max he corrected himself, "most of you I imagine will readily agree to. It may come as no surprise to you to learn that my resources have grown limited and the constant rebellion of fools is growing old. I do not have so many years left nor enough passion for Antar to continue the fight. I do, however, still have a small but strong army who is loyal to me. So my offer is this: I will give up control of Antar in exchange for immunity from prosecution or retaliation and a nice set-up on one of the moons of the planet."

Liz reached out and sensed that he was telling the truth; this was his plan. Something, however was missing. This was too easy and it didn't fit the desire to win, the need to conquer, that she had sensed from him earlier. Catching her purposeful gaze, Kivar smiled knowingly at her.

"I can see Ms. Parker knows something isn't quite right with my proposal, that I haven't exactly revealed all," his rough voice filled the room once more. "And she's right. There is a catch."

He stopped there and waited. He clearly wasn't done with his proposal but it was also clear he wasn't going to continue unless prompted. He was deliberately challenging Larek's method of running the council.

"And what, exactly, is that catch?" Larek asked, begrudgingly giving in to Kivar's need for control.

"That the Royal Four, oh excuse me," he looked pointedly at Max again, "the Royal Three give up all claim to the throne. I will give the planet's control over to this council, minus the has-been King of course."

Max still gave no sign of what he was thinking. He looked as if he were hearing about lunch options instead of his enemy's plan to remove him from power permanently. Kivar, however, was clearly enjoying himself.

"And that's my offer. Take it, and we will have peace in our system for the first time in over fifty years. Refuse, and though I may not rule much longer, I will give you the bloodiest fight our solar system has ever seen. It's up to you. Any questions or comments?"

"What about the granolith?" Kathana asked with great intensity in her voice.

"The granolith will, of course, be given to the council." Upon hearing Kivar's words, the other alien leaders nodded their heads in agreement. "It is Antar's sacred artifact and must be returned to her people."

Max and Michael did not look so convinced. Michael leaned over to Max, whispered something in his ear. Nodding to whatever Michael had said, he spoke for the first time since Kivar had begun his speaking of his offer.

"And yet you would have it returned to a council that is not, in fact, composed of her people," he protested. "Forgetting the problem of trusting a man who has killed many of those people, for a moment, why should I trust this council which is made up of leaders who did nothing to stop that man years ago? Why should I trust a group of people who may very well be working with the insurgent?"

Hanar and Kathana looked outraged, as did their seconds, while Sero sadly shook his head. Liz sensed that Jael was struggling with the urge to reach over the table and strangle Max. She strangely sympathized with the woman. She also realized this was a place for her to offer some wisdom.

"I think that's why we're all here, Max," she offered softly. "To find the answer to your question. Years can bring a lot of changes."

Max's eyes caught hers and she felt herself tremble. He was looking at her with such intensity that she almost didn't hear the words he quietly spoke. "So can one night."

One night, she thought. He said that so pointedly. Was he referring to her night "with" Kyle, his with Tess, or that other night, the one she never wanted to remember and the one she would never be able to forget? She couldn't think clearly, not with his eyes on her like that. It was as if he could see right down to the marrow of her bones, which wasn't very fair since she couldn't sense a thing about him. Maria had warned her about those eyes, not that she needed the warning. She knew what they could do to her.

And so did he. The bastard, she thought as she gave in and broke eye contact. He could still turn her inside out with a look and he knew it. Well, she wasn't going to crumble that easily.

"Yes, you're right," she agreed, finding the strength to look him in the eye again. "Even one night can alter the course of things, change how we see other people, how we see ourselves. Given your deep appreciation for the potential for change, I'm sure you can find a way to entertain the possibilities of what fifty years worth of nights can bring."

Max gave her a grim smile as he realized he had been out-maneuvered. "I suppose so."

"I think," Larek's voice broke into their exchange, "that perhaps we should take a small recess. We will convey back here in 15 minutes. Whitmore has set up a few refreshments in the green room if you need to refuel your host."

"Liz, I'd like a moment with you," he spoke quietly as the others rose from the table. Max and Michael moved to the right wing of the theater as Michael pulled out his cell phone. Liz was pretty sure he was calling Isabel. She and Larek got up and walked to the left wing, Kivar watching them go as he stayed seated, that sly smile still on his face.

"Is there anything that's jumped out at you?" Larek inquired as they reached the semi-privacy of the wing.

"Probably nothing more than you already can tell," Liz admitted. "Like I said before, most of the members of the council want peace, though they are varied in their hopes for it. Kivar, well, Kivar wants to play all of us like puppets."

"Hmm, you're right, I think I noticed that," Larek grinned and Liz smiled in return.

"He is, however, sincere in his offer. At least, I think he is."

"And Max?"

"Max is, um, difficult to read." Liz wasn't sure why she didn't tell Larek she couldn't read Max at all. Maybe it had to do with her desire to talk about it with Alex before anyone else.

"Excuse me, Ms. Parker," Whitmore interrupted as he approached them from the green room door. "Sir, there's a small matter that needs your attention."

"I'll be right there," Larek nodded. "I also wanted to thank you Liz. You've done a wonderful job already. I don't know why I first thought of you as a second, but I'm glad I did."

Larek excused himself and Liz smiled again as she watched him enter the green room. She wondered what he would say if he actually knew why he thought of her.

"So. You have powers." Max's low voice filled her ears, startling her and making her heart jump.

"Yes, I think we established that," she replied as she turned around to face him. He looked confused, as if he couldn't quite believe it, even though he had seen the proof.

"The children I healed in the hospital, Sydney, she's fine, they're fine."

"You checked up on them?" Liz asked, surprised he would show that much interest.

"Isabel did." Oh, that made more sense.

"I don't know why I have gifts and they don't," Liz shook her head as she spoke. "Maybe because you didn't just heal me from a disease. I was shot, Max, and my body was going through an intense, traumatic experience. I was on the brink of death and you brought me back. Maybe you have to go so far to be changed."

"Shot? Wait, does that mean that..." Max's voice dropped off as the realization came to him.

"Yes, that means Kyle is changed too."

"I'm sure he appreciates the ability to sense his dates' emotions. Must make it real easy to cover up his lack of romantic ability. Oh, I'm sorry," he falsely apologized, his voice growing darker. "I forgot some women actually like that."

Liz let that comment slide. "Kyle doesn't have my gift of reading people. His gift is more along the lines of gigantic fireballs.

"But you can read emotions, feelings."

"Yes."

"So what am I feeling?"

There was no way she was going to let him know she couldn't read a thing off him.

"Max, it's not an exact science," Liz countered. "I told Larek this and I'll tell you it too. I can't read people clearly on demand; it's just something that happens."

"'Not an exact science?' Bet that drove you crazy when you first figured it out." A small smile crossed his face as a thought came to him. "Did you run experiments on Maria?"

"And Michael," she muttered under her breath. Damn him. Damn him for knowing her so well.

"Ah, yes, Michael. Funny he never mentioned this to me."

"That's probably because I made him promise not to," Liz defended Michael. She didn't want him to get in any more trouble with Max than he had to.

"And he kept that promise. That was certainly nice of him."

"Or loyal. But you should know all about that."

"Loyalty?" He laughed disbelievingly. "Oh yes, because so many people I've known have turned out to be loyal."

Son of a bitch. She walked right into that one. What did she say to that? Oh, right, the evil slut of an alien that tried to turn you over to your enemies. The one that killed my best friend. No, you were referring to me? The girlfriend who left you at the first sign of trouble and then seemingly slept with her ex when you were trying to woo her back? Wait, the one you promised to always be friends with but then rejected because she put another friend, albeit a dead one, ahead of you?

Luckily for Liz, she didn't have to say anything as Larek interrupted their conversation. She was quickly growing grateful for Larek's propensity for doing that.

"Liz, Max, I'm sorry, but it looks like we will have to recess until tomorrow."

"What's wrong?" Liz asked as she turned toward Larek, concerned that one of the supposedly resolved conflicts between the other leaders had reignited.

"Nothing major," Larek assured. "Banar's host is starting to break from his control. He will have to have another body prepared. I will have Whitmore take you back to your hotel or if you prefer to go sightseeing-"

"No, my hotel is fine." Hopefully, Alex would be there waiting for her. They had a lot to talk about.

"Wonderful. I will see you tomorrow, then," Larek nodded his goodbye and Whitmore appeared with her coat.

Liz turned back to say goodbye to Max, only to find that he was no longer standing behind her.

"You did well, Ms. Parker," Whitmore told her as he helped her into her coat. "I believe this council will be what Larek has been hoping for the past several years."

"I wouldn't get too hopeful quite yet, Whitmore," Liz advised as they made their way to the theater's small hallway. "We've got two hot-headed alien kings, one in control of a planet, one in control of some all-powerful, all-holy artifact. I don't see this ending well, at least not easily."

"Nothing ever is, though, easy," Whitmore offered.

No, she thought wryly. It never was.


	7. Everything In Its Own Time

**Part 6**

Everything In Its Own Time  
_  
_

"Alex," Liz spoke quietly as she opened the door to her hotel room. "Are you here?"

Looking around the parlor she saw the dining table, the wet bar, the couch and coffee table, but no Alex. Draping her coat across one of the dining chairs, Liz headed toward the bedroom.

"Alex?" A quick scan told her there was no one in the bedroom.

Liz hadn't asked Alex how she was supposed to get a hold of him; she just sort of assumed he would be here when she got back.

In a moment of inspiration, she sat down on the large bed, crossed her legs, raised her arms out in front of her like she has seen Kyle do so many times, and began meditating. She pictured in her mind the tall boy, a big grin across his face as he told her about the latest song he wrote for Isabel. He was so excited, so full of innocent hope that Isabel would start to turn around. Concentrating on that image, she called out to Alex in her mind. She concentrated on his warmth and good humor. She concentrated on his smiling, earnest eyes. She concentrated so hard that her head hurt.

Liz dropped her arms down in exasperation. Nothing was happening. Jumping up off the bed, she thought of what to try next. Since quiet meditation didn't work, maybe the opposite would.

"Alex!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, hoping the bellhop wasn't lying when he told her—with a very unsettling wink—the VIP suites were well-insulated for sound.

"Alex," she yelled again.

"Woah. You don't have to yell, Liz. I can hear just fine."

Snorting, Liz turned toward the sound of her friend's voice.

"Apparently you can't because I've been trying to reach you for 15 minutes."

"Oh, uh, well," Alex said, scratching his head as he replied sheepishly. "I kinda got distracted. The Village has a few fantastic record stores. I wanted to add some stuff to my collection."

Liz laughed. "Alex, you and your - wait a second." She looked at her friend's empty hands, her brow scrunching in confusion. "Where do you keep this record collection? I thought you were beyond time, space, and matter."

"Details, details," he replied with a wave of his hand. "I don't actually need to have the records in hand. I can kind of, uh, download them into my memory for later use."

Liz eyed Alex queerly. "You're an otherworldly IPod then?"

"Yep. More storage space and considerably less expensive."

"You're so strange."

"Hey," he replied clearly trying to sound annoyed and failing. "Girls living in glass houses shouldn't go blasting them with their glowing hands. Or something like that."

"Fair enough," Liz conceded with a smile.

"All right, enough good-humored banter," Alex transitioned as he sat in the plush chair next to the bed. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"I take it that you didn't watch sight unseen," Liz ventured as she sat down on the edge of her bed next to him.

"Nope. Like I said, you get to do this on your own."

"Great, just great," Liz muttered. "Did you know that Kivar had been watching me?"

"Kivar? As in the Big Bad?" His mouth was open and his eyes were wide. Liz wondered if that's what she looked like when Kivar had told her.

"That's the one."

"I - no, I didn't know," Alex insisted as he began drummed his fingers lightly against his pant leg. Liz rationally knew that his finger drumming was only a sign of him thinking about something deeply, but it sent her back to the day they all realized Kyle's incessant finger tapping was the sign of Tess' handiwork. That had been about two days after the three aliens had headed after the girl. Liz shook off the feeling of remorse that she hadn't figured it out in time to save Alex as he continued speaking.

"Liz, since I wasn't told, I have to assume that means it's not a safety issue. It may rate high on the creep-out scale, but I don't think you're in any real danger from him."

"That's what he said."

"For now, I think that's probably the best thing to assume. I'll see what I can find out, though."

"Thanks," Liz nodded in approval. She really didn't want to have to worry about Kivar on top of her issues with Max.

"Okay, so other than finding out about your newest alien stalker, what happened? Tell me about the council."

"What's to tell? It's over," she replied firmly.

"Already?" Alex asked, an impressed look on his face. "Wow. I knew you'd be helpful, but that's quite a bit more helpful than I thought."

"No, I didn't mean the council was over. Just my part in it."

"Is Michael's hair that scary?" Alex teased lightly. "Maria needs to get over here and get that boy in order."

"Alex, I'm serious," Liz insisted, kicking Alex softly in the shin with her foot.

"Sorry," he apologized looking slightly abashed. "Was Max that bad?"

"He's..." Liz shook her head, not sure how to answer Alex's question. "I don't know what he is, and that's the issue."

"What do you mean?"

"Alex, you brought me here to read people and offer what I could with that. Well, major problem. I can't read Max."

"You can't read Max?" he restated, sounding more than a little surprised.

"At all," she stressed.

"Hmm, interesting," Alex muttered as he rose from the chair. He scratched his head and paced in front of her as he continued speaking, more to himself than her. "It would make some sense, you got your powers through his healing so maybe he's immune... Or maybe... Interesting. Very interesting."

"What's so "interesting" about it?" Liz cut in on Alex's pseudo-monologue. "It just means your people were wrong. I'll call Larek and tell him to find someone else. I bet he can get someone here as soon as tomorrow afternoon."

"No, Liz." Alex stopped his pacing and rambling to answer her. "I know you wish it were different but this new twist doesn't mean we were wrong. I'd say it means we were more right than we could have guessed."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Well, nothing I can tell you."

"Let me guess, secretive 'for your own good' stuff," she mimicked.

"I'm sorry Liz. It's not really my stuff to tell."

"Oh. Oh!" she exclaimed as she realized the significance of Alex's words. With a small laugh she replied, "Sucks, huh?"

"Oh yeah," he agreed with a big smile. They looked at each other for a brief moment, taking in the irony of their switched roles, before Alex continued as he sat back down. "Liz, even without your gifts you're still the most qualified person to help Max, help this council.

"Help Max?" Liz gave a dejected laugh. "You know, up until your, um, death, even after I saw him kissing Tess, I would have agreed with you. Of course I could help Max, that's what we did. Even if we weren't together, we helped each other because we understood each other so well. But after your accident, Max became so completely other than the Max I knew and loved.

Alex shook his head. "I don't know about that."

"Alex, you weren't there," she contested. "He became a control-freak who wouldn't listen to anyone else, so narrowminded in all he did. He shut himself off from everyone who he had ever let in – me, Michael, and even Isabel.

"And the Max you knew was never like that?" Alex countered. "Never thought he knew what was best for everyone, never turned away from those who loved him because he thought it was for the best."

"Well, okay, yes," Liz conceded begrudgingly. "But not to that extreme. It was like the Max that would appear when he was stressed or confused just took over and became infinitely stronger than that other Max, the one who knew how to love and be loved. Alex, after he came back from searching for—no—hunting Tess, he was completely shut down. No emotion, nothing beyond his damned control. Our exchange today was the most emotion I've seen from him in years."

"Grief and traumatic experiences can dramatically affect people," he offered.

"So can pride and ego," she returned sharply. "Look, Alex, I should have gone with my initial reaction. I guess I thought that you all knew something I didn't, that maybe he had changed for the better. That maybe there was more of the man I used to love in there. But after today... I'm sorry, but I don't think I can help.

"Liz, not to go back to that secretive stuff, but don't you think it's possible that maybe the Higher Powers do know something you don't," Alex suggested with the transcendent wisdom she was becoming used to and currently becoming annoyed with. She didn't want wisdom; she wanted to be irrational. "You said he reacted to you with more emotion than you'd seen in years. Don't you think that might be a sign of something?"

"No Alex, you don't understand. You don't know what he was like. You couldn't..." she trailed off. Of course he couldn't, no one really could understand how deeply Max had changed. No one except her and she hadn't told anyone about that night, not even Maria. But this was Alex. He had been her advisor and sounding board long before he became one of these Guardians. If she told him, maybe he would see that she was right, see that she couldn't help Max. Maybe -

Liz's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her door.

"Are you expecting room service?" Alex asked as he got up from the chair and followed Liz into the other room.

"Nope," she answered as she walked over to the door.

"Then my guess is you've got your first out-of-this-world visitor."

Looking through the peephole, Liz saw that Alex was right. Standing at her door, looking rather irate, was a tall, not-so-blond, Isabel. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was coolly staring directly at the peephole, as though challenging Liz _not_ to answer the door.

"Alex, it's Isabel," Liz spoke quietly to her friend, not missing the quick shift in his expression. He went from Alex the Guardian to Alex the teenage boy right before her eyes.

"I - I don't know if I can stay, Liz," he quietly confessed.

"I understand," she assured her friend gently. "I'll call you if I need you later, is that okay?"

"Yes, just call for me like you did before. I'm sorry, I..." He looked past her toward the door and Liz sensed a longing that hadn't been there before.

"Alex, don't worry about it. Go check out some more record stores or something."

"Right, sure," he mumbled as he tore his eyes away from the door. "Just, please, think about what I've said. And don't call Larek, not without talking to me first. Please."

"I will and I won't," she promised.

Another knock at the door let them know Isabel was growing impatient.

"Good luck," he said with a ghost of a smile.

"Thanks, Alex," she smiled back.

"And Liz?"

"Yeah?"

"Give her some grace, if you can," Alex implored as he looked back at the door once more. "She's, she's not had it easy these past few years."

As Alex disappeared Liz wondered how exactly he knew that. Had he been watching her? They would have to talk about Isabel eventually but right now Liz had to actually deal with the girl. She couldn't leave her standing on the other side of the door forever.

She had barely opened the door before Isabel made Liz wish she could have disappeared like Alex.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

If Liz had ever wondered whether Max and Isabel were really related, she wouldn't wonder anymore.

"Hi Isabel," she replied with the same calm voice she had used with Max.

"What do you want?" Isabel demanded as she continued to glare at Liz.

Liz was tired and the hostile alien encounters were getting old. It was tempting to shut the door in her face. But looking at Isabel, taking in the bags under her usually-perfect eyes, the slight stoop in her usually-perfect posture, Liz knew she could only do as Alex asked.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked with as much kindness in her voice as she could manage.

Unlike her brother's, Isabel's anger deflated a bit in the face of Liz's composure. "Fine."

Isabel breezed past her, through the dining area into the living room. Liz shut the door and followed her into the sitting area. Isabel had chosen not to make herself comfortable on the couch or armchair but to stand with her back to the window that looked out over Park Avenue.

"Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" she offered, trying to make their meeting, or exchange, or whatever this was, as comfortable as possible.

"No, what you can do is tell me what's going on," Isabel replied stiffly.

"Okay. I don't know what you know, exactly, but I was asked by Larek to be his second and I agreed."

Isabel shook her head in dismissal. "I know all that. Michael said you've developed some sort of an emotion barometer and are using it as Larek's second. That's not what I meant. What are you doing here?"

"You mean Max," Liz asseverated. As always, it was about Max.

"Of course that's what I mean."

Liz sighed. What did she say to that? She didn't know what she was doing here, at least not in regard to Isabel's brother. She didn't want to say anything but Isabel was just staring at her expectantly. The truth probably couldn't hurt.

"What exactly am I doing? What can I even do? I'll admit it. I don't know. But I do know and I want you to know that I'm not here to hurt him; I'm actually here to help."

Isabel stared at Liz, as though assessing the truth in her words. The longer she stared the more self-conscious Liz became. Isabel always had a way of making her feel like a gauche little girl. And now, even though the long shiny blonde hair was a short, non-descript light brown, and the trendy clothes had given way to a bland, even worn, wardrobe, she felt so insignificant. Amazing how quickly a self-confident woman could revert back to the insecurities of her youth.

As Isabel continued staring at her, Liz reached out and sensed that the other woman was struggling to trust. She must have decided to believe her because Liz soon saw the mask of hardness and anger drop. A weary-looking Isabel leaned against the window, letting her tiredness fully show. "I'm sorry, it's just... I don't know what to expect."

"Don't worry about it, Isabel," she said in assurance, moving to sit on the edge of the armchair facing the window. "It's got to be weird having me back in your life, especially in such an unexpected way. I know it is for me."

"Maybe just a little weird," she smiled faintly as she took a seat on the couch. "Liz, I wish you knew what to do but I'll admit I don't know what you can do either. He's not the same, maybe even worse than when you last saw him. It's been a rough few years."

"What exactly..." Liz didn't know if she should ask, but she thought she had to. It could only help her deal with Max. At least she hoped it might. "I mean, this may be none of my business, but what happened? Maria told me you all were leaving for some important and potentially dangerous mission but Michael wouldn't tell her more. What happened? Were you successful?"

"Successful?" Isabel echoed, her brows slightly raised. "I - I don't know how to answer that. We thought we were done, that with Tess gone somehow our enemies would give up, let it all go or something. God, how stupid we were. Or, I guess how stupid Michael and I were. Max always knew they would never give up. I learned pretty quick how wrong I was when one night on my way home from class in Las Cruces."

That's right, Liz had forgotten Isabel started college the same year she had, even though she had graduated a year early. She wondered if Max ever tried to start a normal life.

"What happened?"

"An energy blast took a nice chuck out of my right shoulder."

"Oh my god." Liz's eyes quickly focused on that shoulder. Of course it was fine now, they had Max to keep them in good shape. But that it had ever been damaged in such a way... She felt ill thinking about it. "Was it Kivar? Another alien?"

"Lonnie."

"What? But I thought -"

"That Lonnie and Rath were dead? We did too." The self-recrimination in Isabel's voice was perfectly clear.

"I..." Liz didn't know what to say; she had thought that threat was long gone. She wondered if those were the two "birdies" Kivar had referred to early today. The thought made her shudder.

"Yeah, I know," Isabel replied with a shake of her head. "What gets me is how incredibly naive we were. Tess tells us she suddenly remembers what happened in New York, that she somehow managed to kill them and we just blindly believe her."

"Well, they didn't bother you for years," Liz offered in their defense.

"But they came back in force. We think Tess may have been working with them, telling them things about us. When I was first hit I didn't know what was going on. I eventually made out Lonnie and we had ourselves a little showdown, one she ended up running from. Apparently she had underestimated me."

Liz shook her head. She couldn't imagine anyone underestimating Isabel. Maria didn't call her Queen Amidala for nothing.

"Anyway, during our little exchange, Lonnie said something about getting her hands on the granolith. When I said she'd never find it, she laughed. Said she already knew where it was."

"The granolith? Oh my god. Did they ever get it? Is it safe?" Kivar had said the granolith would be returned to Antar but no one ever said that Max still had it.

"No, they didn't get it and yes, it's safe.

"So what happened? How did you stop them from getting the granolith?"

"Well, there's this nice little catch. Knowing the location of the granolith is only one part of the puzzle. Only the one with the seal can actually operate the granolith. And Lonnie and Rath needed to get rid of all of us before the seal would pass on to one of them."

"That's good, I guess."

"Right, real good," Isabel remarked caustically. "Except for the part where that meant we spent almost two years trying to find Lonnie and Rath before they found us again first."

"Did you? Find them?"

She nodded. "We did. First Rath, then Lonnie. They had split up. I don't know if it was a strategic move or just a personal thing. It made it easier to take them out though."

Liz found herself slightly disturbed at Isabel's ease at those words, 'take them out.' Somewhere along the line Isabel had become more comfortable with the violence that came her way. This wasn't the same girl who had had to kill Congresswoman Whitaker.

"So after you, um, took them out, did you get to go home?"

"No," Isabel answered with a sigh. "We had another problem."

"What do you mean?" What more could there possibly be?

"In our last encounter with Rath, the one that left him dead, he taunted us with information that even if we got rid of him and Lonnie we wouldn't be safe."

"Kivar?"

"No. He meant Nicholas."

"But, that's - that's impossible," Liz stammered. "From what we learned from Courtney, his husk could only last a few more months at most."

"That's pretty much what I told Rath right before he laughed in my face. I've gotten real tired of that. Apparently there was another group of Skins sent here about twenty years after the first batch. Nicholas managed to do some sort of husk transfer with one of those Skins."

"Oh my god."

"And if that weren't enough," Isabel continued with a false laugh, "we've met some of these newer skins and they're more advanced. They don't have that handy little button to press. We keeping hoping to find him but when you don't know what he looks like and his trail has been practically dead for five years, it's a pretty hard hope to hold onto."

"But you kept looking."

"We kept looking. And I suppose we'll keep looking until we know we can go back to our lives without having to look over our shoulders every minute. Not that there's much of a life to go back to."

"Isabel..." Liz wished more than anything that Alex were here right now. He would know exactly what to say to Isabel, exactly how to make it all better - and that had nothing to do with his supernatural gifts.

"It seems like it will never be over," she confessed as she rose from the couch and walked over to the window. Staring out the window down at the street below, shoulders slumped as she stood, Isabel could only be described as defeated. "One enemy beaten, another one is there it take their place. Or maybe our enemies are never beaten. I just don't know any more."

God Alex, where are you, Liz wondered as she watched the woman in front of her continuing to crumble.

"They say..." Isabel's voice began to crack. "They say 'everything in its own time.' Well, I'm ready for it to be time, for all this to be over. I just don't know if it ever will."

"Isabel, I don't know what to say. 'I'm sorry' seems so feeble."

"It doesn't hurt to hear anyway," she responded as she wrapped her arms around her mid-section, eyes still on the street below. "I just hope that this council thing is works, either the way Michael and I hope it will or the way Max does."

"What do you mean?" Liz queried intently. Why were they hoping for different things? She didn't think she was going to like the answer.

"Uh, well," she began as she turned around to face Liz. "Michael and I are hoping that somehow the planets will find some sort of peace that will leave us at peace."

"And Max?"

"Max thinks that Nicholas won't be too far from where all the action is. He's planning on searching him out while we're here."

"So he's not here for the council itself?" If Max wasn't going to even try, what real point was there in her being here?

"Truthfully, I don't know. I haven't known what's going on with Max in years."

I know the feeling, Liz thought with empathy.

"He's said he's here to find Nicholas but he could be holding on to some hope that this council will work. But I don't know. I'm sorry, I just don't know."

"Thank you, for telling me."

Isabel nodded and then stared at Liz with a new look in her eye, one that appeared a little too much like expectation for Liz's comfort. "What do you think?"

"Excuse me?"

"With your powers. You can tell some things, right? What do you think is going on with Max?"

"Well," Liz began cautiously. She didn't want to lie to Isabel but she didn't want her inability to read Max to get back to him. "I think he's more stressed than he lets on. That's probably why he burst out at me like that when he first saw me."

"What?" Isabel exclaimed forcefully. "He did what?"

"Um, he didn't react real well when he first saw me," Liz answered slightly unnerved by the other woman's reaction. "It didn't surprise me too much. I just didn't think he'd blow up quite like that. You know, all angry and unreasonable."

"Oh my god, oh my god. Maybe, maybe you can do something. Maybe Larek was right bringing you in." Isabel's eyes lit up as she moved closer to Liz, her excitement clearly reflected in her body language. "He hasn't even raised his voice in a year. It scares me how in control he is. But with you... I think you might just be what he needs."

"Isabel, he was just angry," Liz replied matter-of-factly as she rose from the armchair. The only other time Liz remembered Isabel being convinced that she could help her brother things had gone well; she managed to reach him just in time. Too much had changed between then and now though. Liz didn't want to get the other woman's hopes up.

"Liz, given all that I've seen of my brother these past years, anger is good thing. There is a sense of being in anger. A reality and a presence."

Liz looked at Isabel, slightly stunned. "That's a line from _The Bluest Eye_. It's my favorite book."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that when we did those stupid interview things our sophomore year. I went out and bought it after we got back from Texas. I wanted to see what the Perfect Miss Parker thought was the best thing she'd read. It was a good book, though I think _Song of Solomon_ is my favorite by Toni Morrison."

"I didn't know that, I mean that you bought the book. You never mentioned."

Isabel shrugged. "Yeah, well, we never really talked a whole lot."

"No," Liz agreed, "we didn't."

Isabel glanced down at her shoes, hesitating before she quietly spoke. "I wish we had."

Liz gently placed her hand on Isabel's shoulder. "Me too."

Isabel looked back up and Liz noticed her eyes had gotten misty, which only caused her own to do the same.

"I wish a lot of things. I wish we had been friends. I wish I had noticed my brother's downward spiral and been there for him instead of lashing out. I wish I had told our parents everything instead of letting them blame themselves when their children 'ran away' and came back so despondent. I wish I had let more people in. Oh god, I wish I had let myself be with Alex instead of pushing him away until the very end. I was just so stupid, so convinced that I need something more than the simple, sweet understanding and affection Alex offered me. I wasted so much time being so childish. I wish – " Overrun by emotion, Isabel sank down onto the couch behind her, head in her hands, tears freely falling.

Sitting down next to her, Liz softly rubbed her back as she spoke. "I wish a lot of things could be different too. Too many things. I could dwell on them forever, let them eat me up inside. But I won't. You can't live in the past; it won't do you any good. It's taken me a long time to learn this lesson and though sometimes I forget, I always come back to it. Trust me, even if you could go back and change something, you may not like the new world you've made. Instead of looking back, you have to take a good look at what you've got here and now and work from that."

Isabel nodded slightly at her words. Wiping the wetness of her cheeks, she turned and looked at Liz. "You're right. Sometimes it's just so hard, though."

Liz gave her a sad smile. "Yeah, it is."

"I wish Alex were here now," Isabel said wistfully. "He'd have some funny remark to help us stop being so angsty."

"Yeah, he would." Liz had to take a deep breath to keep herself from saying anything else. God, and she thought it was hard to keep her secret from Maria.

"So tell me... tell me about life outside all this madness," Isabel began quietly, though her voice picked up enthusiasm as she spoke. "You got out, at least for awhile. I want to know about you, your life, how you're doing."

Liz was slightly taken aback by Isabel's interest. Isabel had never taken much notice of her, other than how she was involved with her brother. But the woman had also clearly been through quite a bit, been changed by her experiences. And now she was looking at her with such genuine interest and even a small hope. She needed to hear that life away from the alien abyss was possible.

"Life's been pretty interesting, actually," Liz began with a soft smile. She started out with the story of her first day at Harvard, when she met her roommate and realized she hadn't left all unexplained phenomena behind when she left Roswell. She told Isabel about school, her friends, her favorite things about living in Boston. As Liz talked Isabel asked her a few questions to help the flow of conversation but didn't say much for the next couple hours. She was more than content just to listen to different stories about Liz's past four years, laughing the hardest at Liz's stories about the little "accidents" she and Kyle managed to have over the years. After she told Isabel about Maria's exciting news, Isabel took some initiative and began a different line of inquiry.

"Maria, did she, did she move on? From Michael I mean?"

"Well, she's dated here and there and she had one fairly serious boyfriend." What Liz didn't tell Isabel was that this boyfriend, Justin, the one she was staying with when she came to town, realized he was gay while dating her. Poor Maria had spent weeks lamenting that her boyfriends always found other men to be more important than her.

"And you?" Isabel prompted.

"I've seen a few guys."

"But no one serious?" Isabel pressed.

"No," Liz replied firmly. This was not something she really wanted to be talking about

"So you haven't really been in a real relationship since..."

"No, I haven't seriously dated anyone since Max," Liz confirmed in a mildly annoyed tone.

"Oh. That's too bad."

"Too bad?" Liz echoed rather abrasively. "I don't think so. A woman is more than who she's dating. I mean, I'm only 22. It's not that freaky that I'm not in a serious relationship."

"I- I'm sorry," Isabel replied with a small stammer. "I just, that's one of the things I dream about the most. Finding someone. I guess I was hoping to hear that you and Maria had moved on and each found some other great love."

"No, I'm sorry, Isabel," Liz apologized sincerely as she realized she had come off more defensive than she meant to. "Sometimes Maria nags at me about that and my mother always manages to work it into our conversations. Kinda a sore subject. I'm just tired of people assuming that a woman's life can't be fulfilling without a man. I'm happy. Stressed and currently overwhelmed by all this alien stuff, sure, but happy. Really and truly happy."

"That's great. Really." Liz could see that though Isabel seemed genuinely glad for her, she was consumed by other thoughts, probably about her own happiness, or more likely, her unhappiness. Placing her hand gently on the woman's leg, Liz offered words of comfort.

"I hope that whatever happens at this council, it leads you to finding that happiness too." As Liz spoke these words, she realized she was committing herself to stay as Larek's second. Something in her conversation with Isabel gave her hope, hope that these higher powers weren't completely wrong. Maybe Max's outburst was a sign of some change, for better or worse she didn't know. What she did know, though, was that too many people were counting on her, had such hope and faith in her, for her to let her insecurities and issues with Max stop her. That's why she agreed to the council in the first place. To help bring peace. And now she had even more reason to stay. She had a chance to help her newly re-found friend have a chance at a normal life, well, as normal as any alien-human hybrid could have. Whatever her problems with Max, both Isabel and Michael deserved freedom from the hell that had been their lives these past few years.

"Thank you," Isabel replied warmly. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you came by, that we got to talk."

"Me too, it was probably the best couple hours I've had in a long time." Isabel looked down at her watch and sighed. "And it looks like my recess is over. I had better get back before Max does. I'm sure he'll want to report on what ever he found, or more likely, didn't find, while he was out looking for Nicholas."

"Of course," Liz nodded as she got up and walked Isabel to the door. Isabel opened the door and began to walk out of the room before she stopped and turned toward Liz. The two women looked at each other for a moment before they both reached in for a hug. Liz squeezed Isabel tightly, trying to give her as much hope and strength through that hug as she could. Isabel broke the embrace first and turned to walk away.

"We're going to make this work, somehow," Liz assured her retreating friend. Isabel mouthed her thanks as she waved goodbye and continued walking down the hall toward the elevator.

Shutting the door Liz repeated those words to herself. They would make it work, somehow. Even if that somehow involved engaging Max again in ways that would force her to deal with things she had hoped were long past.


	8. Gone Again

**Part 7 **

Gone Again

___Lips moving down her neck, stopping at the base. Slight, stimulating kisses. Lips moving from her neck, across her collar bone, and down. Hot hands. One softly caressing, matching in pleasure the lips sucking on her other breast; one moving down her belly, across the tender flesh below her navel. Lower. Sweet pain of unfulfillment giving way to new, captivating sensations. Moaning, coming from her, coming from him. Reaching out, feeling warmth, feeling strength, feeling life. ___

_Suddenly, pleasure twisting into pain. Hot hands being replaced by cold nothingness, stimulating kisses giving way to the void. Reaching out, feeling cold, feeling absence, feeling hollow. ___

_All the while amber eyes—watching. _

Brown eyes fluttered open as the dream ended and consciousness came rushing back. Reading the bright red 3:47 of the clock on the nightstand, she slowly stirred and forced herself out of bed. Not bothering to turn on the lights, she lifted the cotton night shirt that read 'take me to your leader,' a birthday present from Kyle, over her head as she made her way to the bathroom. She opened the shower door and turned the water on.

The location might be different but her ritual was the same. She stepped into the shower and placed her hands against the wall, head bent. The warm water poured over her, cleansing her of the remnant of her dream. She tilted her head up and reveled in the sensation of the water as it fell across her face. The water running over her never failed to wash away the familiar impressions left by her dream. Except this time the customary feelings of loss and bitterness were mixed with new feelings of regret and anxiety. Regret that she hadn't found the courage to call Alex back and talk to him, tell him what she so clearly wanted to but didn't know how. Anxiety that tomorrow morning she would have to see those amber eyes watching her once more.

These new feelings were harder to wash away.

When Liz finally crawled back into bed the clock read 4:31. The front desk would be calling her in three hours to welcome her into the new day. Curling up under the covers, she hoped the rest of the night would be dream free. She needed as much sleep as she could get for the day she had ahead of her.

**********  
Covering a yawn, Liz leaned back into her chair as she watched the other members of the council that were on the stage. Tukaram was sitting a few chairs down from her, engaged in the papers in front of him rather than conversation. Sero was speaking with Larek while his second was talking with a bleached blonde Liz assumed was Banar in his new host. Apparently aliens didn't mind a little cross-dressing in short pleather skirts and spiked high heels. Banar's new host looked as if she had seen better days. She was probably not much older than Liz but her worn skin and tired eyes made her look considerably more. She thought of the hard life this woman must have led to be so aged and was reminded slightly of Isabel. In case there was ever a doubt, Liz would now definitely not be able to forget the resolution she made to stay last night.

Swallowing another yawn Liz wished she had indulged in more than two shots of espresso on the limo ride over. After Isabel left she was pretty drained and while she knew she needed to talk with Alex, she really didn't have the energy. She had planned to order dinner in, watch some mindless tv, and then crash. About the time she was getting ready for bed, Maria called and all thoughts of an early night were soon forgotten. Maria needed each and every detail about her day, except when it came to the topic of Michael. Liz told her he looked good, a little tired but good, but Maria didn't want any more details beyond whether or not he was still following Max around like 'a lap dog.'

Liz didn't get to bed until after one and lost an hour of sleep to the aftermath of her dream, thus the need for massive amounts of caffeine. The previous afternoon she had asked Whitmore to pick her up a little earlier this morning so she could get to the theater before Max. She wanted to avoid making a big entrance like yesterday. She got her wish but she was currently wondering whether an extra thirty minutes of sleep would have been a wiser approach.

Her brief meeting with Kivar ten minutes ago had already exhausted her. She and Larek had been talking in the left wing when Kivar had approached them. He didn't want much, at least as far as she could tell from the conversation, but making small talk with the alien king or dictator or whatever title you wanted to give him was wearying. It didn't help that thanks to her powers she knew that the entire time they were talking (about something as mundane as the poor transportation systems of Earth) Kivar was anticipating something from her. He was focusing his attention on her as if in any second she was going to do something. What he thought she was going to do, she couldn't tell and it frustrated her. She managed to console herself with the fact that at least this time he didn't try to kiss her hand.

Liz was considering getting up and investigating the caffeine options in the green room when Michael walked onto the stage. Max didn't appear to be with him. He made his way over to her, stopping to stand a few feet away from her chair.

Poor Michael, she thought, noticing his little-boy-lost look that got Maria every time. He still wasn't real sure how to interact with her. Liz had to squelch the urge to give him a hug. Though they had been fairly good friends at one point, Michael really wasn't the hugging type. Unless of course, she qualified in her mind, you were the one who needed the comfort or your name was Maria.

Instead of offering him a hug, she gestured to the chair beside her with a smile.

"Hey," he began as he sat down.

"Hey yourself."

"Isabel shouldn't have burst in on you like that."

Ah, she had missed Michael's bluntness.

"Don't worry about it," she replied. "I'm glad we got to talk. And truthfully it didn't really surprise me. I remember how Isabel gets when her brothers are involved."

Michael nodded in acceptance. "Once she found out where you were staying, I couldn't stop her from going to you."

"How did she know where I was?" She hadn't thought to ask Isabel that last night. Of course, after Isabel's little break down, she didn't ask her much.

"Uh, Max mentioned it before he went out."

Liz raised a brow. "He just happened to mention it?"

"More like 'stay away from the Grand Hyatt' but the result was the same."

"And let me guess, he knew where I was because he followed my limo back to the hotel."

"From what Max said, the limo's not exactly the most inconspicuous vehicle on the road. Besides, I'm sure he didn't mean any harm." His slightly defensive response made Liz reluctant to press the issue.

"I suppose not," she allowed, suppressing her desire to ask just exactly what Max was doing following her. "So, where is the man in question?"

"Kathana waylaid him on our way in. I overheard her mention the granolith."

"I don't envy him then. She seems pretty intent on everyone's favorite magical cone."

"A pitbull comes to mind," he muttered.

"I had a professor like that once. He'd keep asking the same question over and over again, even though no one in class knew the answer. I can't tell you how glad I am I don't have to take another class with him."

"What are you going to do after? I mean, after you finish school, not this little freak show," he qualified with a shake of his head.

"I've applied to several graduate degree programs. I'm hoping to continue at Harvard and stay in Boston. I love the area so much that I've have even become a Soxs fan, much to Kyle's dismay."

"Kyle is a Yankee's fan?" Michael asked with such a disgusted look that Liz couldn't help but laugh a little.

"No, but since he's moved to Chicago he can't imagine people rooting for a team other than the Cubs."

Michael shook his head at that comment. "The Cubs. I suppose they help him practice his patience."

"Oh, I've seen him at a game. All his Buddhist meditation, inner calm stuff is checked at the gate."

Michael replied with a half-smile before he turned the conversation to her again. "Isabel mentioned that life has been treating you well. I'm really glad."

"Thanks Michael. She told me too, about your life. What's been going on, what you've had to face. I'm so sor-"

"No pity please," he cut in, clearly uncomfortable with where she had been going. "It's just what a second-in-command has to deal with."

"Check, no pity," she replied with a disarming smile. "Just, I know how hard it was for you to leave. I want you to know that I admire your strength and courage."

He gave her a full grin at that remark. "Liz Parker admiring Michael Guerin? Are four horsemen going to gallop through here anytime soon?"

"You know," she teased back, "I think the weatherman did mention something about rain of toad."

They kidded each other like the old friends they were for a few minutes, Liz enjoying every moment he smiled, before Michael broached the topic she had wondered if he would mention.

"How is... Uh, how -"

"She's good, busy but good."

"Good, that's good," he quickly replied, clearly trying to sound casual.

"Did Isabel tell you anything?"

"About Maria? No."

"Oh." That meant Michael didn't know about Maria's dating status, or lack there of. She didn't think now was quite the appropriate time and place to mention it. Of course, she wasn't really sure when she could casually drop that into conversation without getting Michael's hopes up. As long as Michael was being the second-in-command first and Michael second, Maria claimed she wouldn't have anything to do with him.

"Is she with you?"

"In New York?" she asked slightly surprised at the question. "Um, no. But she will be. She'll be here two days from now."

"Oh."

"She's finishing up schoolwork. She did a small tour this past month out in California and has lots of stuff to make up for her classes."

"A tour?" He sounded impressed. Maria said she wasn't interested in details but she might make an exception for that little tidbit.

"Yep. You know how she was shopping around some of her songs before you left?"

"Remember?" he snorted. "Half of them were about pig-headed boyfriends. How could I forget?"

"Well she sold a couple and that gave her the confidence and street cred to expand out from the Boston area. She's played here quite a bit and this was her first West Coast gig."

"That's great. She deserves it." Michael's casual tone had transformed into a more pensive one.

"She really does. It looks like that tour may have been the big break, too. She's really excited."

"I'm glad. That she's living her dream." Liz's heart just about broke hearing the way he said that. It was as if he was mourning all of his own dreams, dreams which she was sure included Maria.

"Michael -"

"Michael," Max's voice overpowered her own and drew both of their attention. He was standing at the opposite end of the table, staring at them expectantly and looking just as good as he had yesterday. Not that she noticed.

"Nice conversation, Max?" Michael queried with a caustic tinge to his voice. Liz was glad to see Michael still gave Max at least some attitude.

"The best," he replied coolly, still staring expectantly.

Michael turned to Liz and gave her a defeated expression.

"Maybe sometime while we're both in New York you and I can have coffee or something else as un-alien related as possible."

"That sounds great," she smiled at him as he rose for the chair. He approached Max and the two walked a few steps away from the table, completely out of her earshot.

Watching Michael and Max quietly confer out of the corner of her eye, she wished she knew what they were talking about. Was it about the granolith, Nicholas, her? She would have been tempted to read their lips but she didn't want it to appear like she was staring at them, not when Max was so clearly staring at her. Though he was speaking with Michael, his eyes didn't stray far from her. Oh, whenever she would glance his way he would avert his gaze, but she had enough experience with the Max stare to know what was going on.

"It seems our kingling has himself a little crush," Kivar's taunting voice distracted her from her non-watching of Max. She looked over to see that the well-dressed man had taken his seat and was now leaning over the table, his eyes practically twinkling with delight. He was enjoying her little melodrama way too much.

"Or maybe he's just admiring my sweater," she suggested flippantly.

"Hmm, perhaps," he drawled with a knowing smile.

Liz was getting very annoyed with these alien kings and their cockiness. Kivar may not have been the rightful ruler of Antar, but he had just as much arrogance as Max Evans to pull it off.

She was going to come back with some witty retort when Larek called the meeting to order.

"Good morning," he began as everyone else sat down around the table. "I'm sorry for the disruption yesterday but as we all know inhabiting a host takes a great deal of energy and resources. Hopefully we will be able to meet longer today but we won't try to push our resources too far."

Liz watched the other alien-inhabited bodies nod in agreement. She hadn't really thought of how exactly they managed to take over bodies millions of light years away. She was glad she only had to come down from Boston.

"Having heard Kivar's proposal yesterday, I would like to open this morning with the suggestion that we explore the implications of his plan." Larek looked to Max for a reaction; Max gave him nothing.

"All right then," Larek continued as he heard no objections. "Here's my first concern. You say, Kivar, that if we give you immunity and a 'nice set-up,' you'll give up control. What guarantee do we have that you won't change your mind and make a play for Antar again?"

Kivar nodded as though he had been expecting this question. "I would be willing to allow moderate surveillance. You can watch my comings and goings, make sure I'm not conspiring with anyone to make my way back to the throne."

"And what about your followers?" Sero interjected. "How do we know they won't do the conspiring without you, or you haven't already set up some advanced plan?"

"You don't," Kivar admitted as he leaned back into his chair, clearly enjoying being the center of attention. "But no matter what happens, you won't have a guarantee that my followers won't lay down their arms. With this plan, however, you will have me making the announcement that I have freely chosen to step down and discouraging anyone from rising up against the new government. I think that's about as good as you're going to get."

"And what do you propose we do with your followers? Offer them immunity too?" This question came from Hanar.

"I trust the council to make that decision when they come into control of Antar."

In other words, Kivar didn't care about his followers, Liz observed, only himself. Big surprise.

"So you have no objection with them being charged with war crimes?" Jael asked intently.

The questions and discussion continued in similar vein for several hours. The conversation was intense and intricate and Liz felt out of her league more than once. She was a bio-chem major, not an expert in political negotiations. But she was trying, unlike some people.

Max, supposed King of Antar, hadn't said a word. Michael offered a couple of questions and comments throughout but Max remained silent and seemingly disengaged. As the rest of the council worked, discussed the details of how power would be turned over, the potential make-up of a temporary governing body to rule, Max just sat there looking bored.

He also kept looking her way.

She tried to dismiss it, telling herself that he was really glancing at Larek and it just appeared like he was staring at her. But she was smarter than that and not so heavy in denial. So as she sat there, trying to engage in this complex discussion, asking questions she thought Max should be, addressing concerns she thought he would have if he cared at all, she also had to deal with Max trying to confuse her. At least that's what she decided was his plan. Make her so confused about what was going on with him that she'd get frustrated and just go home. Yep, that's what he was doing.

"Tell yourself that once more with feeling," she mumbled under her breath as she shifted in her chair for the countless time. The lack of sleep was really getting to her; she had to keep moving to keep herself awake. Looking around the table she took small comfort in seeing several other participants struggling to focus on whatever ancient inter-galactic treaty Kathana was currently discussing in excessive detail.

Liz was about to lose the fight with sleep as Kathana droned on when Larek interrupted the other alien.

"I had no idea King Bajson played such an important role in the development of the Ishria Treaty; thank you for such an excellent detailed description, Kathana" he commented with such grace that Liz was truly awed by his diplomatic abilities. "I'm sensing that the energy of this council is waning and we certainly want to give our history and our future our full attention. So, let us take a thirty minute break to stretch our bodies, refuel our hosts if need be, or check on our resources at home."

Liz watched as the other members, Max and Michael included, got up and walked toward the green room where she was sure Whitmore had prepared plenty of refreshments. Larek took a moment to apologize for a certain member's long windedness. She smiled and told him it reminded her of some classes and not to worry about her. Satisfied by her answer, Larek left to join the others, leaving her on her own for a few moments, relishing the quiet. No complicated conversations, no verbose and boring aliens, no ex-boyfriend staring at her, and... no energy whatsoever. Forcing herself out of her chair she headed over to the green room herself. Sleep was going to claim her if she didn't get more caffeine.

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was kismet, maybe it was just dumb luck but as Liz passed by Max's chair her eye caught something on the ground. It was a black wallet. She bent down and picked it up, taking notice of the worn leather curling at the sides. As she stood there looking at the content of her hand, Liz felt Maria standing beside her, whispering in her ear, "there's always the best information in the wallet."

"Hush, inner Maria," she muttered as she continued to stare at the wallet. She didn't need to go looking through Max's things. But her Maria voice did have a point. You could find some good information in a person's wallet. Like, say, who exactly the wallet belonged to. She didn't even really know if the wallet was Max's, afterall. Just because she found it by his chair and because it looked like an older version of the billfold his mom had gotten him when they were in high school didn't mean that it was actually his.

"Yeah, and maybe the big guy in the red suit coming down the chimney at Christmas isn't Santa."

This was Max's wallet and it would be wrong to look through it. She wouldn't want anyone pilfering through her purse. Yes, it would be wrong. But... She was at a complete disadvantage with Max. She had no idea what was going on and her usual means of detectiving didn't work on him. She was here to help Max and she couldn't very well do that if she didn't have any insight into him.

"That's right, Liz," she sighed as stared at the thing, "justify your inappropriate behavior."

A perfectly moral person would put the wallet on the table or in his chair without looking at its contents. But, then again, Liz had never claimed to be perfect. With a quick glance towards the wing and the direction of the green room, she gave into temptation.

Noticing the driver's license Liz had confirmation that this was indeed Max's wallet. Actually, on closer inspection Liz saw that the billfold belonged to a 'Chris Wolfe.' Apparently Max hadn't changed his driver's license back from the last time he needed to be someone else. Did he even bother becoming Max Evans anymore, she wondered, or did he just go from alias to alias?

Along with his driver's license she found a hotel keycard from the Clarion Hotel. She pulled the billfold pocket open and saw some cash and a receipt. It seems Max stopped by Starbucks this morning and if she remembered her cross-streets right, he got it only a block away from her hotel.

As interesting as the receipt was, it wasn't the most surprising thing in his wallet. No, it was what she found in the small pocket behind his driver's license that shocked her. She realized the item she at first thought was a note was actually a folded photo the moment her fingers touched the glossy back. As she pulled the picture out from the pocket, she knew even before she opened it what it was. There, on one side of the folded photo, were the words "I will always..." written in her own familiar script. The lump in her throat grew larger as she slowly unfolded the picture. Staring back at her was her own smiling face, one that used to grace the living room mantle of her aunt's house in Florida.

This was the picture she had sent with the hardest letter she had ever written - the one where she tried to explain to Max why she did what she did at the rocks that day. She hadn't said much about their admission of love for one another in her letter. She didn't think she could address it and then go on to say "but we can't ever be together." But before she sent that letter to him, she grabbed a picture her aunt had, signed it "I will always love you," and mailed the letter and photo before she could talk herself out if it. She didn't want him to think what they shared wasn't real - it was the realist thing she had ever felt.

And even though she had given him more than enough reason to doubt that love, he had kept the picture. Not only had he kept it but he carried it around with him.

"Max Evans is staring at you again," the Maria voice piped up once more as Kivar's comment about Max's crush also came rushing back to her. Why was she always the one in denial? She couldn't hide behind her not-so-rational rationales for his behavior anymore.

"What's going on Max?" she murmured as she slipped the picture back into the pocket.

She had thought he had been staring at her as some sort of intimidating tactic. Maybe he still was. But why would he keep this picture with him? Why had he clearly carried it with him for sometime? If she didn't know their own history she would wonder if maybe he still felt something for her. But she did know their history and it was impossible. But what was truly impossible, she challenged herself, when your ex-boyfriend was a reincarnated alien king? Maybe he did still have some feelings for her. But what, exactly, would those feelings be?

Or maybe he kept the picture as a reminder of promises broken. Maybe, she thought with an increasing certainty, he kept it as a reminder not to trust anyone else, not to let anyone else in.

"Well, that's what you get for snooping," she quietly chastised herself. She wondered if this confusing piece of information was one of those things Alex couldn't tell her about. Maybe this was proof that somehow she was the one who needed to get Max to trust again. Or maybe it meant nothing at all. She wished for the countless time since yesterday that she could sense Max. She hated being this clueless, this out of control.

She had just placed the wallet with its confusing contents on the tablet when an unmistakable voice called out to her.

"Find anything interesting?"

She slowly looked up from the incriminating evidence and found herself staring at an angry Max.

If Isabel got excited about yesterday's confrontation, Liz thought as her heart raced and stomach clenched, she was going to get quite a kick out of this.


	9. You and Me of the 10,000 Wars

**Part 8 **

You and Me of the 10,000 Wars  
_  
_  
"Max, you, um, I..." Liz sputtered before final deciding on the ever-so-eloquent "hey."

"Like I said, did you find everything you were looking for?" He was clearly trying to control the anger in his voice and not really succeeding.

"Oh, you mean, the wallet. I just found it on the floor. Do you know who it belongs to?" Pathetic. Just pathetic.

"You were never a very convincing liar, Liz," he admonished as he slowly walked closer.

Oh if only he knew.

"All right, fine," she huffed as she gave up her pretense. "I was looking through your wallet. You caught me. So here's what I want to know. Why were you a block away from my hotel this morning?"

"What?" The anger in his voice had been replaced by confusion. Despite her rather awkward situation she found herself liking this particular turn of events, her confusing him. Kyle always said something about the best defense being a good offense, or was it the other way around? Either way, she hoped this little diversionary tactic would do the trick.

"I saw a receipt from a Starbucks near my hotel. Are you keeping tabs on me?"

"That's what you want to talk about?" He still sounded surprised, not patronizing as though he knew she was avoiding the topic of her picture. She could only infer that meant he hadn't actually seen her digging through his wallet.

"Why, is there something else that should be upsetting me right now?" she asked with as much righteous indignation as she could muster.

"Not that I'm aware of," Max replied calmly as he stopped a couple feet away from her and picked up his wallet off the table. She was impressed both that he had regained control so quickly and that he put the wallet in his coat pocket, resisting any urge she knew she would have to casually double check to make sure that photo was still in its proper place.

"Then let's talk about your little adventures near my hotel," she pressed, crossing her arms across her sweater and giving him the best condescending look she had.

"You have put yourself in an incredibly dangerous situation by coming here, Liz," he reproved, giving her his own look of condescension. "I am just trying to keep you safe."

"And when did you reappoint yourself guardian of my safety, Max? Since when did you care again?"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to watch out for you if you didn't put yourself in danger," he bit back harshly.

"Put myself in danger? By what, coming to New York?" she asked incredulously. "Well I don't know if you were paying attention yesterday but I've had your enemy watching me for years. What should I do, go hide in a cave somewhere?"

"You can stop making yourself an easy target," he answered as he took a step closer to her, using his height and continuous eye contact to intimidate her. "Just because Kivar might not make a move under such close surveillance doesn't mean his followers won't."

"So, what," she returned as she struggled with her desire to move away from the heat of his body and all the unwanted feelings it stirred up inside her, "you're just going to take it upon yourself to make sure I'm not attacked? Why? What business is it of yours?"

"Everyone knows that you and I were once..." His voice grew slightly softer and he glanced down at his shoes, breaking his disconcerting eye contact.

"Once what Max?" she prompted, her own voice gentler.

"Once important to one another," he finally supplied, his voice and gaze both growing hard once again as he continued. "It would be a great statement about my inability as a king if I couldn't keep even one person safe."

"I'm so sorry I'm forcing you to prove your competence," Liz responded flatly.

"We all have our burdens to bear."

"So, what?" she cried in frustration as she threw her arms up and turned away from him and his arrogance, walking toward the other end of the table. "You just show up in front of my hotel this morning, making sure I don't get myself killed on the way over?"

"Liz, I'm not sure why you're acting so surprised that I was watching you this morning. You had to wonder how Isabel found out where you were staying."

"You know about Isabel's visit," she replied dumbly as she looked back at him from her new position near Larek's chair.

"She's just as bad at lying as you are."

"Oh," she breathed. What did he know, then, about her life, about her lack of a love life in particular? She doubted Isabel would say anything but Max certainly had a way of getting people to say things they didn't want to. "Well, I hope you weren't too arrogant of an asshole to her. She was just worried about you."

Max's brow raised at her "arrogant asshole" comment.

"You don't need to worry about Isabel."

"What? Are you taking care of her too?"

"It's what I do," he shrugged, sounding bored by the conversation's turn.

"Then maybe you need to reevaluate how you do what you do."

"Excuse me?" His boredom clearly gone, he practically growled as he began stalking toward her.

"Have you seen your sister lately? She looks exhausted. So does Michael." She took a deep breath before she dared even further. "And so do you."

Standing only a few feet away from her once more, he was close enough that she could see his face turn slightly red, either from embarrassment or anger or both.

"I'm sorry Liz," he sneered, "not all of us have had the luxury of going to our dream school, making new friends, having fun at parties. Some of us have to spend our days fighting for our lives."

"I- I know that," she stammered, taken aback by how her words had apparently sounded to him. "I don't know why I said that."

"Whatever," Max grumbled dismissively as he moved to turn away from her.

"No," she exclaimed as she reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. She didn't keep the contact long, but it was enough to make him stop and turn back around. The energy passing between them was almost too intense for her to continue. But she had to, she couldn't just let him leave with those words, so she took another good breath and softly spoke. "I'm sorry. Isabel... she told me a little bit about what life has been like for you all. I know it hasn't been easy. I shouldn't have laid the blame on your shoulders. I'm sure you're doing the best that you know how."

"But my best isn't good enough?" he challenged with a glare.

"That's not what I said."

"Yes," he insisted, "it is."

"All right, it's what I said, but it's not what I think," she objected earnestly. "And I'm not lying about that."

Max shifted slightly on his heels, visibly uncomfortable with her sincerity. Instead of acknowledging her apology or her clarification, he brought their conversation back to his sister.

"So, what else did you and Isabel talk about?"

"Um, lots of different things. Mainly she wanted to know what I've been up to."

"So you told her all about your happy little life in Boston," he replied, somewhat bitterly.

"Uh, bits and pieces."

"And I suppose she reciprocated," he hastened to add, his voice growing more severe as he spoke, "telling you about what we've been doing."

"A little."

"And she told you all about the three of us and how we've reacted to everything," he pressed sharply.

"Again, a little," she repeated, ill at ease with the new twist in this rollercoaster of a conversation. Just when the intensity level went down, he had to pick it back up again.

"I can guess what she told you about me. 'My brother isn't the Max you knew,'" he scornfully mimicked his sister.

"She didn't have to tell me what I've lived with for over five years," she bit back quickly and then regretted her words just as quickly. God, she hadn't meant to bring that up. A current of awareness passed between them and Liz had to fight to stay so close to him.

"Then what are you doing here?" he asked, leaning in so his face was only a foot away from hers. The forced intimacy was too much and she had to take a small step back.

"Because I haven't had enough alien drama to last me a life time. Oh, wait, no. I have," she retorted with clear contempt. Again, she inwardly cursed herself for letting him get the better of her. She had managed to keep her cool so much better yesterday. Of course yesterday she wasn't dead tired and yesterday she hadn't known Max carried a picture of her. "Why do you think I'm here Max?"

"I don't know, Liz," he enunciated slowly, as though he were talking to a child. "That's why I asked."

Steeling herself against his attitude, Liz ignored his tone and asked, "What did Isabel tell you?"

"What?" Again, he was mildly confused that she hadn't struck back.

"You got it out of her that she visited me. I can't believe for a moment you wouldn't grill her about what she learned from me."

"I thought you didn't know me any more," he challenged with an appropriate cock of his brow.

"I - to take a page from your book, just answer the question, Max," she sighed, letting her guard down enough to show her exhaustion.

Maybe he took pity on her or maybe he was just as tired by their conversation because instead of giving her trouble, he answered. "She said she thought you were here to help."

"Well, there you have it," Liz replied matter-of-factly.

He shook his head. "But it can't be that simple."

"Can't it?"

"No," he maintained, though she could tell his resolve was weakening. "It can't."

"Why not, Max?" she asked quietly, confused by his insistence. He didn't say anything—at first. Instead he looked out into the dark audience of the theater. His breaths were slow and deep, ones that shuddered slightly in his chest. When he turned back to face her she didn't miss the pain in his eyes, though he was clearly trying to hide it.

"Because..." he spoke thickly, anger replaced by something else she couldn't quite name, "because you got out."

"Well, I'm back in," she offered gently.

"No, Liz, you got out. You wanted a normal life and you've got it." The small trace of happiness for her in his voice as he spoke was almost her undoing. "You wanted your life not to be in danger. You got out, why the hell would you get back in?"

Oh god. Her own chest started to shudder as she breathed in and out. He was thinking about the night she made that horrible speech. It was about the second hardest thing she ever had to do and he was still thinking about it. What else did he still think about?

"I... I may have wanted those things at one point in time, Max. But, here's something I've come to realize recently - I'm not out. I'll never be out. And my life? It's not normal. Most girls I know don't go around accidentally blowing up light fixtures when they're really stressed out. And most don't know what everyone around them is feeling, don't have to constantly struggle to tune out those emotions so they can function, so they don't go crazy."

"I... I'm sorry about that," he murmured so low she wasn't sure she heard him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, please," she prompted softly.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all that," he confessed, his voice still so low she had trouble hearing him. "It's not right that you should have to suffer reminders like that."

"Suffer reminders? Max, you have nothing to apologize for. First and most importantly, I would be dead if it weren't for you. Nothing can ever change that. You saved my life. And, okay, so there have been some changes that went along with being brought back to life by an alien, but what young adult doesn't have to face changes?"

"Not like that, they don't."

"True. But it hasn't been all bad," she insisted with a hint of humor in her voice. "In fact, as I'm sure you know from experience, these powers come in handy from time to time."

"Like at an alien summit?" he asked with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Well, for one," she smiled lightly back.

Something about her smile must have set him off because when he spoke again, she knew by the hardness in his voice that whatever vulnerability Max had been revealing was once again safely hidden.

"Liz, just because you have those powers, it doesn't mean you should be here. I'm sure Larek could have easily found another second."

"I'm not sure he could," she sighed, disappointed at the condescension that graced his voice once more. They had been sharing a small moment of, friendship maybe, and he had to go and ruin it. It seemed very little had changed over the years. "At least not someone with my qualifications."

"What, because you're a threat to all lightbulbs and an emotional meter besides? As useful as that may be, he could have done without you."

"Maybe he could have," she partially agreed. She had, after all, argued the same thing to Alex only yesterday afternoon. "But for once I'm forced to agree with the rest of the world. It always comes back to Max Evans."

"What do you mean?" he asked sharply, his eyes narrowing.

"I wasn't exactly thrilled when I got Larek's phone call, you know. You're right. I have a good life in Boston. And then this council, no, you come crashing back into it."

"Well if that's how you feel, I'm forced to ask you again, why are you here?"

"Because this council is doing good work, Max. Something you might actually notice if you'd start paying attention." Liz slightly grimaced at herself for not being able to resist that jab.

"And, what? You're such a do-gooder you just had to get in on the action?" he chided.

"Not exactly. I've been convinced by lots of people I trust that I'm needed. And believe me," she admitted with more than a hint of the dramatic, "it took them a lot of convincing."

"So that's why you're really here? To help the council because people have told you you should?" he asked, clearly not convinced.

If she wanted him to believe her, Liz knew she had to be completed honest with him, which meant being completely honest with herself.

"All right, that's why I came," she admitted to both him and herself, "but that's not the reason I'm determined to stay and see this through."

"What else," he replied almost indifferently, "is inspiring you to make this grand sacrifice of your time and energy?"

"You, Max," she answered quickly before she could talk herself out of it. "I want to help you. Not just this council, but you."

"Why the fuck should you want to do that?" He clearly hadn't been expecting that response.

"Because I'm a glutton for punishment?" she replied with a half laugh. "I don't know. Because a part of me wants to believe that there has to be something left of what we once were, enough of that something to maybe help you through this process. I'm not talking a cozy cottage for two and grandkids running around. That ship has long sailed. But maybe I can help you with all this work before you."

"You think you're still important to me?"

"No," she responded slowly, trying to keep her emotions in check. She had just made herself completely vulnerable to him and that's how he responds? Again, it looked like little had changed. "I would never believe that. Don't worry, you convinced me of that a long time ago. But I do think - I have to believe - that something of our connection is still there."

"Look, I don't know what you've been telling yourself over the years. But apparently I didn't do a good enough job of convincing you. Because that connection? It's gone. Completely. You mean nothing to me." He spoke those last words slowly, with purposeful enunciation.

"Is that right?" she asked, feeling her anger rise again. As her anger level rose, her restraint disappeared and she burst out with the question that had been burning inside her during their entire exchange. "Then why do you carry a picture of me in your wallet?"

Max blinked. And blinked again. The muscles in his neck, which had already been tense from their arguing, managed to become even tighter. He brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck and she could tell that it was slightly shaking.

"Excuse me?"

His voice was deeper than usual and she wondered if his throat and chest were constricting like her own.

"I found the picture I sent you from Florida folded up in your wallet," she confessed wearily, not quite believing she had the courage, or perhaps the foolishness, to tell him. "If I mean nothing to you, then why am I still with you?"

"Is that how you're going to help me? Looking through my things and asking me invasive questions?"

Looking like a deer caught in the headlights, he was trying to intimidate her again. But his words no longer had the intense energy behind them. He was also completely avoiding her question.

"I don't know what to say, Max," she admitted, her voice thick with emotion. "I don't even know who you are! You've become this strange man who seems to resemble nothing of the boy who touched my soul. And you're lying to me, if not yourself, when you say there's nothing here between us. I may be wrong about a lot of things, but I'm not wrong about this. So how in the world am I supposed to help you?"

"I..." he tried to speak but couldn't find the words. In that moment Liz swore she saw a glimpse of the boy she had loved in this shell of a man.

"Tell me. Please."

"I don't know, Liz," he confessed roughly, his eyes searching hers. "I don't know how you're supposed to help me when I can't even help myself."

"What happened, Max?" she pushed, holding his gaze. "What happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he warned as he shifted on his feet once more, clearly uncomfortable.

"Of course you don't Max!" she proclaimed, fed up by his typical closed-mouthed attitude. "God forbid you share something, put yourself out there, risk feeling even just a teensy bit."

"Leave it alone, Liz," he reproved grimly. "You don't know what you're asking."

"I think I've got a pretty good idea." The alarmed look on his face made her only more upset. "Don't freak out. I don't know your precious secrets. But I saw into your soul a couple of times, remember. I felt how scary and terrifying it was for you to even think about sharing your identity with the people you loved. But I also remember how badly you wanted to share yourself, with me in particular. How your fears melted into your hope and trust in me."

He didn't say anything but from the look on his face she could tell he remembered too.

"But that was then and this is now," she continued as she moved slightly closer to him, letting their bodies in such close contact stir up their own memories. "And now I think you're just as scared but nowhere near as hopeful or trusting in anyone."

Unlike her, he didn't move away from this new intimacy. Instead he closed his eyes as he replied, "Things are different now."

"Why, Max? Why did things have to change?" Liz struggled to keep emotional control over her voice.

"Back then I believed people would think I was a monster."

"And now?" Her heart began to race in anticipation of his response.

His eyes opened and looked deep into hers before he answered. "And now I know I am one."

"What are you talking about Max?" she asked, her voice soft and full of concern. She reached out to touch him lightly on his shoulder but he just shook his head, raising his hand in an act of defense. She could tell he was about to break and that he knew it too. But instead of opening himself up to her, he silently backed away.

"Max. Max," she called out softly after him but he ignored her voice, turned his back on her, and quickly walked away.


	10. Go

Watching Max's departing form, Liz slowly sank down into the chair beside her. She wasn't initially conscious of much, her vision was strangely blurred. Max slipped in between the side curtains and completely left her view.

"Oh god," she let out as the shock began to wear off and she became aware of the tears that were slipping down her cheeks. What just happened? They had been arguing back and forth and then somehow they got to that place, a place where they both let down their walls and were honest with each other, even if just for a brief moment. And then he left. No, she corrected herself as she roughly wiped at those tears, he fled.

Running her hands through her hair, she wondered what was going to happen next. Could she sit here, pretending to concentrate on more alien history and politics for another few hours? Could she stop herself from running over to him and begging him to let her in again? To tell her what he meant by that monster comment?

"Liz," a voice interrupted her distress. She looked over to her left and saw Larek standing next to her chair. Actually, she realized as she redeveloped her bearings, she was in his chair.

As she stood up to speak with him, she could tell from the look on his face that he too was distressed over something. She thought it more than possible that they shared the same cause of worry.

"Are you all right?" he asked kindly.

"Um, I will be," she admitted honestly. "I had a conversation with Max. It was, um, intense."

"That would explain it, then," Larek replied with a shake of his head.

"Explain what?"

"Why he grabbed Michael and left."

"He what?" she gasped.

"Left," the man sighed. "And I don't think he's coming back, at least not today."

"Can he do that?"

"Whether or not he can, he did. And the other members of the council weren't too thrilled."

"I don't imagine," she responded softly as she tried to suppress feelings of guilt. Had she just helped to completely screw up this council instead of aiding it?

"Except, of course," Larek continued, his frustration clear, "Kivar, who looked a little too pleased."

"Do you think he's planning something?" she asked warily. A grim smile on his face, Larek gestured toward the green room and she followed his lead.

"Liz, here's one thing that is a guarantee in life," he replied as they walked through the side curtains, "Kivar is always planning something."

When they entered the green room, the intense conversations being held stopped as all eyes turned their way. No one was trying to mask their emotions from her, though she could have just as easily read the anger and disappointment from their faces. Banar looked as if he wanted to punch something, probably Max, while his leader Kathana was standing precariously close to Kivar. Liz wondered if those two had just come to an unfortunate understanding. Sero, as usual, appeared the most calm, followed by Tukaram who for all his intimidating earthly appearance was displaying an inner tranquility that she really envied at this moment.

Kivar was the first to address Larek, speaking in his usual flip tone. "Did you find any answers to the kingling's disappearing act?"

"I found what I needed," Larek replied coolly, giving him nothing. Undeterred Kivar looked from Larek to Liz and smiled.

"I take it Miss Parker got the best of him," he said approvingly. "Not surprising. Zan never could handle a woman that held her own."

"Zan's ability with women is not the issue here," Larek warned firmly.

"Oh, I think it is," Kivar countered in a low voice. As he continued speaking to the council members his gestures grew larger, his voice more embellished. "We all know Zan, we know how weak he was. While he may have wanted to use it in different ways than I, the boy craved power and hated anyone who stood against him. Kathana, you remember better than most of us. We all saw how you tried to reach out to him, tried to guide the radical. And what did he do? He turned you away. He didn't want to listen to anyone who challenged his zealous plans. He was a hothead, through and through. And while we may have had greater hopes for this Max, it seems the past is repeating itself."

Turning his attention from the alien representatives to Liz, his voice grew even more slick. "He runs from this woman who, as we all have seen, displays nothing but strength. And yet, he kills a woman we all know was nothing but weak. Poor little Ava. He was never worthy of her - in this life or the last."

"If you are referring to Tess," Liz interrupted through clenched teeth, his last statements pushing her past her restraint, "I suggest you keep your mouth shut. You have no idea what you're talking about."

While the other aliens, including Larek, appeared surprised by her outburst, Kivar did not. If anything, he appeared pleased. "All right, my dear. I will do so. For you. For now."

"Don't do me any favors," she replied in a low voice, trying not to let her anger get the best of her. Just the mention of that girl and her blood boiled.

"Since we have lost a member of the council," Larek jumped in, using Kivar's intent focus on Liz to take back control of the group, "I suggest we recess until tomorrow."

Before anyone else could respond, Kivar whipped his attention from Liz to Larek.

"I don't think so," he uttered forcefully, the menace in his voice making Liz uncomfortable. For all his baiting of Max and exchanges with the other council members, she had never heard him sound so threatening.

"Excuse me?" Larek challenged back, not letting himself be intimidated by the man.

"Max has willingly taking himself out of the council. Why should we stop our work just because he can't be bothered?"

"Kivar, Max is a vital part of this council, whether you like it or not. We cannot do the work we need to do without him."

"We've been doing just fine all morning even though he didn't bother to show up. At least not mentally. He spent his entire time staring at the very woman he just ran from. Do you really think we're going to miss out on his presence?"

While she couldn't deny Kivar was wrong about Max this morning, Liz was annoyed to see Kathana and her second, Hanar, Jael, and even Tukram nod agreement. She was even more annoyed with Kivar's next comment.

"I'm sure Miss Parker certainly won't miss being glared at."

"Don't assume anything on my behalf," she warned, giving the alien the same condescending look she had earlier given Max.

"See, what did I tell you? She's strong, this one."

"Kivar is right," Kathana spoke before Liz could object to Kivar's familiarity. "Zan has not contributed anything. I say we move on without him."

Liz couldn't help but notice how bitter Kathana sounded or how quickly she jumped to agree with Kivar.

"Absolutely not," Sero interjected quickly, the grandfatherly tone replaced by that of a stern statesman. "We all need to be a part of this discussion. It will do us no good if Zan isn't here. Whatever solutions we might come up with mean nothing if he doesn't agree."

The silence of reluctant agreement followed Sero's comment. Silence from everyone except, of course, Kivar who stirred things up even more with his next comment.

"That's not necessarily true."

"What do you mean, Kivar?" Larek asked sharply.

"Look at us. Not one among us is a weakling. We've all fought enough wars against each other to know that. And yet we let ourselves be distracted by the whims of a foolish boy. I say no more. If he isn't going to give this council any respect, than neither should this council give it to him."

"Fine. We give him what he's given us but where does that leave us?" Hanar asked with a huff. "He's the one with the power here. I don't like it, but we have to cater to his little tantrums."

"Says who?"

"Hanar is unfortunately right, Kivar," Kathana sighed. "If we don't get him on board, we don't get his renunciation of the throne and we don't get the granolith."

"We don't get it the painless way, you mean."

Liz had to pinch her arm from telling Kivar what he could do with himself.

"Are you advocating another option?" Jael queried, interest thick in her voice.

"Since His Highness doesn't want to play nice, neither should we. He's not the only one with power. Each of us has it in spades. I say we exert that power until Max comes to our way of thinking."

"Absolutely not, Kivar," Sero replied immediately, giving Liz some faith in these alien leaders. "I will not be party to such proceedings."

"Even if it means peace for your people?" Kivar whipped back just as quickly.

Kivar's question was followed by silence. No one was speaking up against his suggestion, a fact which greatly angered Liz.

"This wasn't my first choice," Kivar continued as he folded himself into an armchair, Liz greatly doubting the truth of his words, "but it seems it may be what we're left with."

More silence followed and Liz tried to control her outrage. She reached out and picked up on the emotions in the room. None of the various emotions resembled strong objection. Some were reluctantly resigned while others were actually mildly enthusiastic. Liz wondered what in the world was wrong with these people. They would really hurt Max and Michael and Isabel just like that? Without giving the peaceful way a solid effort? Even Larek looked at a loss for what to say or do next.

"So, how would we go about convincing him?" Kathana said, interrupting Liz's thoughts and frustrating her even more. No amount of pinching or deep breathing was going to keep her mouth shut now.

"And you wonder why there's no peace for your worlds," Liz remarked snidely, unable to keep the scorn out of her voice.

"Excuse me?" Kathana incensed as Banar shot her a threatening look.

"Listen to yourselves," she commanded. "The first bad day and you're ready to use coercion. Did you even stop to think why Max might have been so disengaged today? Why he's not exactly thrilled to be here?"

"I think spoiled brat sums it up pretty well," Kivar quipped with a sneer.

"And again," Liz replied patronizingly, "I don't think you have any idea what you're talking about so stop wasting our time just so you can hear yourself speak."

"Liz," Larek said softly, a warning for her ears only.

"No, Larek," she insisted, her voice more kind to the man that brought her to the council. "You brought me here in part because of my abilities but also in part because of my history with Max."

Turning back to the men and women in front of her, she continued. "Well, let me tell you a little something about this man you're about to write off. He and his siblings didn't know where they came from for years; they just knew they were different. They've had to hide who they are for almost twenty years—hide for their own safety and the safety of those they love. They've lived in fear their whole lives, never known what it's like to feel slightly normal. And the people with answers, the ones they had waited their whole lives to meet? Well, those people turned out to be plotting against them, trying to kill them. And yes that includes Tess, Kivar, as you already know."

Pausing her scolding, Liz took a moment to gauge the others' reactions. Kivar cocked a brow at her last comment but made no argument. The other members were looking appropriately abashed, none quite able to make eye contact with her. Taking another breath, she spoke again.

"Max has been hunted by both humans and aliens, lost friends, lost his own life to this cause of self-preservation. The one time he meets all of you, he discovers yet another trap which, while you may have had nothing to do with, you also did nothing to stop."

Kathana squirmed uncomfortably and Jael developed a sudden and intense interest in the pastries on the table next to her.

"And there it is. You've done nothing. The king of Antar is a twenty-three year old young man, who has actually only been conscious for seventeen of those years, and you've done nothing as fellow leaders to help him or his family. You've never reached out to him, never shown him any real kindness. And when his back is turned, what do you do? You grab on to the easiest solution - coercion, force - willing to wipe your hands of the whole mess. Why should he trust you? Why should he trust in this council? Before you go jumping to conclusions about what's wrong with him, I suggest you ask yourselves what's wrong with you. Why would such supposedly great leaders be so quickly tempted to take the easy way out?"

"How dare you-" Banar began before quickly being cut off by Kathana.

"Those are strong words from such a young woman," Kathana offered without condemnation, still clearly uncomfortable with Liz's words.

"The truth can be pretty powerful."

With that last statement Liz felt the tension in her chest ease. She had said what she needed to, even if it was more than a little intimidating to do so in front of intergalactic leaders. She couldn't control whether or not they listened to her, but she know what she said affected them. Banar and Jael still wouldn't look at her while Kivar no longer looked amused. After a few more moments of quiet, Sero stepped forward.

"You are right. We swayed too quickly to discard your Max, to do what would be easier on us."

"He's not my Max," she brushed off, "and yes, you have."

Sero nodded and even Jael had the grace to look ashamed.

"And why is that bad again?" Kivar demanded as he rose from his chair.

"What?" Liz asked as she watched him try and railroad the council once more.

"I'm sorry. But I seem to have missed the problem," he replied smoothly. "Why is the easy way the bad way?"

"Because," she answered calmly and with confidence, "it doesn't show the mark of the great but the mark of the weak."

"Ah, yes. I always have trouble with that part."

"Must be why your rule is ending on such a high note," she quipped.

"Yes, it must," he said coolly, staring intently at Liz. His glint charm was glaringly absent.

"Thank you Liz, for those insights," Larek quickly contributed, cutting his second and the alien king off. "You have rightfully challenged us and our assumptions. I think it safe to say we will think twice about taking the easy way, as you have called it."

While she wished she could fully believe Larek's statement she could tell that most were reluctant to so quickly discard the easy option, Banar especially.

"We still have a problem with Max," Kathana pointed out quietly. "He's not participating and we need him to offer his input if we have any hope of hashing out a deal here."

"Max, he's been through a lot," Liz offered, speaking to herself as much as the rest of the council, "stuff that we don't know and probably can't understand. All those experiences, however, have made him considerably less trusting than he used to be."

"What can we do then to make him trust us?" Tukaram asked.

"I don't know," she admitted softly. That really was the question of the hour and she wished she knew the answer.

"Then where does that leave us?" he followed.

"You have to an effort to make him an actual part of this council. You have all this history together, history that while his genetic donor may have been a part of, he doesn't remember." At least she assumed he didn't remember. He had been doing memory retrieval with Alex's killer before they all split town. He hadn't mentioned any political related memories but then again he hadn't mentioned any details either way.

"And how do we do that?" Hanar asked, joining in the conversation.

"Engage him," she proposed, hoping her advice would prove useful. "You keep talking around him but you haven't addressed any real questions to him. Ask him what he thinks about things."

"So we should beg him to share just a small insight into his head with us?" Banar queried incredulously.

"No, you should let him know that you actually care what he thinks."

"Send him some flowers and chocolates and pretty little notes of love and he'll come around," Kivar quipped with contempt. The charmer was gone replaced by a bitter malcontent.

Ignoring Kivar, Sero offered his opinion. "I think it's worth a try. You're right, Liz. We owe him that, at the very least."

"What guarantee do we have that he'll even come back tomorrow?" Kathana asked.

Good question, Liz thought.

"I will speak to him tonight," Larek offered. "Talk to him about our commitment and about his."

"Until then I suppose you want to dismiss this meeting," Hanar surmised.

"We'll reconvene tomorrow."

"With Zan?" Kathana asked expectantly.

"With Max and with a different strategy in approaching him," he said assuring both Kathana and Liz with his comment.

Several heads nodded, others gave no sign as they gathered their things to leave. Though no one was excessively pleased with the situation, Liz could sense some placation. Focusing her attention on Kivar, Liz found herself slightly disturbed. Before she had only read determination, fascination, and amusement from the alien. But now there was something else entirely and she didn't like it one bit. Kivar was mad, genuinely angry. An anger that spoke of loss of control, something she figured Kivar probably liked about as much as the man they had just been discussing. As he exited the green room Liz knew he was deep in thought, anger still in his heart. And that scared her.

She didn't have time to dwell on Kivar, however, because as soon as the others left Larek turned to her with heaviness in his eyes. Oh god, was she in trouble? She had been more forceful than she even knew she could be. But she just couldn't stand there and let them plan to hurt Max.

"Look Larek -"

"No Liz, please, let me," he cut her off. "I'm sorry."

Oh, that wasn't what she was expecting.

"I should never have let the conversation turn the way it did. Thank you for stepping in when you did."

"I - I didn't know what to do," she confessed as she moved to sit in one of the armchairs in the room. "I just opened my mouth and all those words came out."

"Well, I'd say they were pretty accurate words," he reassured as he leaned against the refreshment table. "And they were words we needed to hear."

"What are you going to say to Max?" she asked, looking up at the tall man in front of her. While being a second was proving a challenge she wouldn't wish Larek's job on anyone.

"Oh, I'll probably appeal to our old friendship and if that doesn't work, I'll tell him it would be a shame to waste such an admirable defense by my second."

"What?" she practically screeched.

"Liz, I don't know what was said between you two but I've been observing you these past two days. And I'm guessing hearing you defended him will come as surprising and welcome news to Max."

"Look, Larek, I don't know," she said as she shook her head.

"Do you not want him to know you defended him? Because I can't exactly tell the rest of the council not to mention it."

"No, I - I'm not worried about that," she admitted. Things were getting complicated between them as it was; this addition couldn't make it much worse. "I just don't think it's going to have the reaction you think it will."

"No?" Larek asked innocently.

"No, I'm pretty sure that I'm the reason he left. Invoking my name probably will send him fleeing in the other direction," Liz expounded.

"Do you want to know what I think?" he asked warmly.

"Sure," she replied with a toss of her hand.

"I think that Max is clearly concerned with you. Now, I'm not going to hypothesize what is driving that concern, though I have an opinion, but you are definitely on his mind. Whatever may have been said between you today is not going to be the last of things. He won't be able to allow that. At the very least, I think his curiosity will bring him back tomorrow."

"Great. Come see Liz Parker, the Incredibly Pathetic Woman," she muttered.

"Sorry?" Larek was looking at her with great concern.

"Nothing," she said as she gave him a small smile. "This is just another fun chapter in the Max and Liz saga, something I used to think it was over."

"I've been meaning to thank you, for that. For doing this when it meant being involved with that part of your life." Larek reached over and gently squeezed her hand. Liz didn't know much about Larek as a king but as a guide and chairperson, he had her approval.

"Well you've got the tough part tonight and I don't envy you."

Larek smiled. "Ah yes. I actually don't think the conversation is going to be that difficult. While he may not have dived in yet, Max did come here for a reason and I don't think he's going to go without getting whatever he came for."

Yeah, she thought, like Nicholas. She considered for a moment mentioning that to Larek and then discarded the notion. Since she didn't get that information from Max himself, she didn't think it was necessarily appropriate to share. Not yet at least.

"I'll still wish you good luck," she insisted with a grin as she got up to walk out with him.

"Thank you. You know, since we're cutting our time a little short again, I was wondering if you had plans for the next couple hours."

"I don't," she admitted, nodding her thanks as he opened the door for her.

"Then can I perhaps convince you to come see some of the Big Apple's sights with me?" he asked with an earnest grin

Liz laughed softly at his enthusiasm. While she didn't live in the city, she loved visiting it. She also though it would be a good idea to get to know this man better. It could only help her in the long run to have more information.

"Sure, I'd love to," she replied with another smile. "Let's get Whitmore and explore this town."

As they gathered their belongings and Whitmore, Liz made the decision to let go every thing that had happened the moment she left the theater. She wouldn't think about arguments, or pictures, or comments about monsters. She was going to enjoy the rest of her day and worry about Max later. If there was anything she had learned during her course with Max it was that obsessing never did her any good.

Never any good.

Never.

Damn. It was too bad her heart didn't seem to care.


	11. Tried to Be True

Watching Larek speak passionately about the condition of the poorest of Antar's people, Liz couldn't help but compare this strong statesman to the excited tourist she had shown around the city yesterday. While he had been here before, he said he never found the time to just enjoy what earth's Big Apple had to offer. He had been eager and almost wonder-filled as they had made their way through some of the city's more famous attractions. Liz had decided that if the biochem thing didn't work out she'd consider writing a guide on how to entertain alien dignitaries.

Do not, for example, take your dignitary to a museum known for its more unique pieces. You might think aliens would get a kick out of modern art, being themselves a little different than normal earth fare, but no. She and Whitmore had spent almost fifteen minutes listening to Larek complain that a metal pipe piercing a straw basket, one of the newly acquired pieces at the Guggenheim, did not qualify as art on any planet. Consider taking your dignitary to a green area instead. Though it was winter and not much was growing, Larek enjoyed Central Park much more than the Guggenheim and even what little of the MET they had seen. Apparently his planet had gotten so industrialized that natural parks were hard to come by.

After a full afternoon of touristy fun, they had made plans for dinner at a nice Indian place in the Village that Justin had introduced to her and Maria on their last visit. Larek sent Whitmore and her ahead while he made a small detour to visit Max. When he arrived at the restaurant, she and Whitmore had already ordered and started on a bottle of wine.

Over chicken tikka masala and a good Sauvignon Blanc, Liz had learned that Max had indeed not needed much convincing. Larek suspected that by the time he had paid a visit, Max had already gotten an ear-full from his sister and his second. He also suspected that Max had anticipated a different message from Larek than the one he got. That was when, Larek confessed, he mentioned that the situation might have been handled differently if not for Liz. Larek reassured her that Max did not, contrary to her fears, react violently to hearing of her defense.

Exactly how he did react, however, Liz still wasn't sure. After telling her the basics, Larek had looked expectantly at Liz, waiting for her to prompt him for more details. Liz had looked intently at her glass of wine, deciding it needed to be refilled.

"Is there anything else you want to know Liz?" Larek had broken down and asked.

"Yes. Why is it that an evolved human like me can drink alcohol without any unusual side-effects but a hybrid can't?" she had inquired, trying to move Larek quickly away from his meeting with Max. She wouldn't have been able to handle any more confusing things about her ex-boyfriend. The day had been plenty full of those already.

After a brief explanation of hybrid versus evolved human physiology, the conversation between the three had drifted to themselves. Liz had learned that Whitmore was the fourth generation in his family to serve the needs of alien kings. He was married and had two kids, whose pictures filled his wallet, and when he wasn't working with Larek spent his time at home with his family.

Larek, she had discovered, did not have children waiting for him back home. He had nieces and nephews to dote on, but apparently never found the time to start a family himself. Seeking peace for his own world, not to mention the other planets in his system, was his passion. He spoke about peace both with vision and with a practicality that most dreamers she knew seemed to lack. She had faith in him and through him she felt better about the council. Something about them taking over Antar felt wrong to her, but if that did end up happening she didn't think it would be completely dire.

They stayed at the restaurant for hours, talking, laughing, getting to know one another. They might have stayed there until the staff had to kick them out if Larek hadn't sensed that his body was trying to break free. Whitmore had drugged Larek and dropped her off before he went to drop off the host. Even for the city that never sleeps, it was a strange way to end an evening.

Even though by the time she got to her hotel room it was fairly late, Alex had still been there, sitting on the couch and watching some music channel.

"Long day?" he had asked, turning off the tv.

"Very."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No. Yes. I don't know," she had mumbled as she sat down next to Alex on the couch.

"Okay."

"Can, can I just tell you what happened? Can we save the analyzation for later?"

"Of course," he had smiled kindly. "I've got my listening ears on and my pushy mouth is shut."

"Thanks."

She told him what happened with Max and he had listened without asking her questions she didn't want to deal with. She had been able to tell, though, that it was hard for him. Especially when she mentioned Max's 'monster' comment. Still, he had kept his comments and questions to himself, didn't make her think about what any of it meant. After she had told him everything, Alex left and she had crashed, luckily with no unfortunate dreams to mar her sleep.

Well-rested, she now found herself sitting at the conference table with Max, Max who hadn't looked at her or said anything to her all day. At least, she thought, he was more participatory than yesterday. The other aliens, with the obvious exception of Kivar, were appearing to make an attempt and so was he. He actually answered questions asked and even ventured forth his own unsolicited opinion a few times. But he still wasn't fully there. His eyes seemed to find the table in front of him most interesting. He wasn't showing vulnerability, exactly, but he was nowhere near as sure of himself as he had been before. It was like something within him had shifted. The other members of the council may interpret his softer responses, his hesitant eye contact, as some form of snobbery, but she knew that wasn't it. Max had been rattled and he was still readjusting.

Max wasn't the only one who came to the theater this morning with a change in attitude. Kivar's false charm was no were to be seen. Instead of trying to beguile her, he spent his time trying to bait her. Apparently he was only interested in making friends if he thought she would go along with his plans. Since Liz had stood up to him yesterday so firmly, she appeared to have lost his favor. She no longer sensed fascination, instead there were traces of contained anger. Liz could have cared less about whether or not Kivar was playing nice - he was annoying either way - but he managed to find one of her weak spots and was exploiting it to the fullest potential. Yesterday he must have picked up on her problem with Tess because today he kept trying to bring her into conversation.

"I think we first have to find a way to trust one another before we can move to a detailed plan," Liz had said in response to Kathana's request that the council start working on the details of Max's turning over of power first thing that morning.

While Kathana had nodded in reluctant agreement, Kivar had taking the opportunity to insert his own little comment.

"You know who always seemed to me to be the epitome of trust? Little Ava," he had sighed wistfully. "Such a sweet, trusting soul. It's a shame she couldn't be here today. I'm sure she could help us all learn a little something about trust."

While resisting the urge to lean over and smack the alien, Liz had noticed Max's jaw was clenched tightly. It seemed she wasn't the only one who didn't like Kivar's new favorite topic.

All day Kivar managed to slide Tess into conversation. Liz took some comfort in seeing some of the other aliens grow annoyed with him as the day went on. The only relief she had had was during the lunch break when she and Whitmore ran to a hot dog stand on a nearby corner, just to get away from the alien and his comments. The offerings in the green room may have been a little more exciting, but her sanity was worth it.

The day was drawing to a close now and she was so close to making it through without causing some sort of scene. Given the last two days, she was pretty excited about that fact. Of course, if Kivar kept talking about Tess, she didn't know if she would actually make it.

As Larek took a small pause from speaking, Kivar managed to get in a "you know who really cared about Antar's people?" before Larek could cut him off.

Liz tried to stay focused, tried to continue to listen to what Larek had to say about Antar's poor, but she could no longer keep her mind from going to places she didn't want to go. Kivar's last comment was the proverbial straw. Larek and the rest of the council faded from the forefront of her mind as she drifted back to the last time she had seen Tess.

_Liz sighed in exhaustion as she searched through her locker trying to find her notes for English. She hadn't really given much thought to school since Alex's death and had completely forgotten about the quiz that was scheduled for today. Figured. Today was already one of those days she wished she never bothered to show up for school and if she didn't manage to stay awake and cram hard during lunch she could cap it off by failing the quiz. _

_Out of the corner of her eye Liz noticed two sophomores staring at her and speaking in hushed tones. That had been going on all day. Apparently the day after she was supposed to have left for Sweden, when she and Maria had skipped school to try and discover where Alex had really been, Max and Tess caused a scene by appearing to be very much together - hands where held, kisses exchanged. Her absence on that day and the few days after that were taken as some sort of evidence of a great scandal. W. Roswell High had a long memory and her exploits with Max in the Eraser Room were making their way around the rumor mill again. Liz had heard people saying that she had been absent because she hadn't gotten over Max and was heartbroken – they had gone to prom together after all. She'd also heard that she had been spending the last few days burying her grief over Alex's death by engaging in a sex spree with Sean – her "fling" with Kyle had proven she wasn't a prude and she and Sean certain had been spending a lot of time together. Liz briefly wondered which one of those two stories those girls believed or if they were discussing one she hadn't yet heard. Whatever. She was too tired to waste what energy she had trying to figure out what other people were saying about her. _

_"Ahha!" she exclaimed, finally finding what she was looking for. Now she could get some studying done. _

_"Liz," a voice called softly behind her._

_ Damnit. She didn't need this. Liz turned around to face the last person she wanted to see right now. Well, maybe second to last. Max beat the girl out by just a smidge. __"Tess, I don't have time to talk. English quiz." _

_Tess looked at her knowingly. Liz hated that. _

_"Right, a quiz. Well, I only want a second." _

_Only a second to gloat? That was impressively low-key. Liz crossed her arms and kept her face free of emotion. __"Then you better hurry." _

_Tess' lips curved up into a sick smile. "Liz, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you found, at least for a little bit, some, um, joy with Kyle." _

_"I'm glad my joy can bring you joy, Tess," Liz replied quickly, not quite sure why the blonde was bringing up her supposed night with Kyle after all this time. _

_"I mean, I would just feel so bad to think that I had deprived you of the incredible sensations that can be found at the hands of Max Evans if I didn't know you had some one else to keep you satisfied." Tess gave Liz another nauseating smile that Liz decided was the girl's attempt to appear sweet. It didn't work. _

_"Tess, what the hell do you want?" __"Oh, I just wanted to return the favor, really." Tess couldn't keep the sick glee out of her eyes. What ever she was about to say, she was really relishing it. _

_"And what favor is that?" Liz's eyes narrowed. _

_"Your report on Kyle's performance. I can't make any comparison comments, but I think it's safe to say that you would have found Max up to your standards. I know he surpassed any one I've ever had." _

_Liz's chest felt suddenly tight. _

_"Of course, since you're not one of us, I don't know if you would have experienced that hour-long orgasm. That's probably just an alien thing."_

_With a triumphant smile Tess turned around and walked away, not once glancing back at Liz who was now leaning against her locker for support. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think in complete sentences. Max… Tess… oh God. Somewhere in the back of her head she knew it shouldn't hurt this bad. Her eyes shouldn't be welling up and her heart shouldn't feel as though someone were squeezing the life out of it. She was about to break down in the middle of the hallway because a man she hadn't really dated in almost a year, who hadn't spoken a civil word to her in days, had slept with his new girlfriend. The last thought Liz had before she passed out was that this should really give those sophomores something to talk about. _

"And I'm sure my second agrees with me," Larek's voice called her back to the present. Though the halls of W. Roswell High were replaced by an alien king and an old theater, her chest felt as tight as it had that morning years ago. At least she could breathe and didn't think she was in any danger of passing out. "These are the people we must keep in our minds as we make our plans. They are the ones who stand the most to lose."

"Yes, of course, Larek," Liz offered as she tried to mentally shake off the remnants of that memory. Tess' last words to her echoed in her ears and she tried to block them out. Still, they lingered.

"Well, when exactly are we going to get to those plans?" Kathana interjected, taking the opportunity to bring the conversation to where she had been wanting it to go. "I'm all for discussing the people and their past, but when are we going to get to the future?"

"I think we need to get everything out in the open before we can start making plans," Sero countered.

"Well, I can't think of a topic we haven't touched. Except of course how Zan is going to relinquish the throne and how we're going to take over."

"While I'm getting tired of sitting here too, moving to secession of power is premature," Michael spoke firmly. "You're asking a lot from us and we still don't have any great reason to think that all that you say is going to happen as you promise it will."

"I agree with Michael. We cannot expect trust to be formed so easily," Liz added as she took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in her chest. She looked down at Max as she spoke, but his eyes were still fixed on the table in front of him. "Believe me, once trust is broken it takes a long time to reform."

"You're exactly right," Hanar agreed as she shifted in her chair so she could look directly at Liz. "I don't want to do this any longer than we have to, but we're talking about peace for all our worlds. Building the trusted need for that deserves as much time and attention as we can give it, probably more."

"Some of us may have to give more," Tukaram quipped while staring pointedly at Kivar.

"Yes, I'm sure that there are various bonds of trust that will take more time to form," Liz added politely, trying not to call attention to the most glaring lack of trust in the room. It would probably take several lifetimes more than the two they had been given for any kind of trust to form between those two men.

"I think we all know who you mean by that," Kivar challenged with a glare. "No need to try and be diplomatic now, not when you've been so good at calling a spade a spade."

"Fine," she conceded as she glared back. "Trusting you is going to be the hardest thing for many of us, especially Antar's rightful king, to do. And yes, you're going to have to help us find a way that we can trust you."

"Here's my problem, Ms Parker," Kivar responded with a sneer. "You all come in here talking about trust, and try to convince this little boy to trust me. Well, what about me? Why should I trust him? Why should I trust a man who would kill his own wife?

"Tess was not my wife," Max's low voice joined the conversation. Liz looked his way to see his eyes were no longer staring at the table, rather they were locked with Kivar's. "What she was is evil. She betrayed us, planned to deliver us into your hands, Kivar. So I'm sorry if I ruined your plans, but I can't be faulted for protecting people from that scheming whore."

Eyes flitted back and forth between Max and Kivar. It appeared the confrontational Max of the past two days was back. Liz only hoped the two kings managed to find their way off the topic of Tess. She didn't know if her stomach, let alone her heart, could take it.

"My, my, such strong words," Kivar sneered with contempt. "So, that's your story? That she was planning on turning you over to me? And you expect this council to believe that? Please, Max. I don't think any kingly posturing can convince us that Ava - sweet, little Ava who worshiped the ground you walked on - turned on the love of her lives, so to speak."

"No, probably not," Max gritted out as he continued to stare down Kivar. Liz could tell he was struggling to keep his anger in check. It seemed she wasn't the only one who could get Max to break his control. Even from the grave Tess was proving to her just how unspecial she was. "But Tess wasn't Ava and she did betray us. She may have had the memories of Ava, but she had been raised by an unfeeling man and became an unfeeling bitch."

"So, you killed her because she never had a chance to know love. She didn't get it from Nasedo and we all know she couldn't get it from you in any life time." Liz shifted uncomfortably as Kivar glanced her way. "Poor little girl, never had a chance in the world. I wonder if she really was going to betray you, or if she just wouldn't obey your every command. Was that it Max? She wouldn't let you tell her what to do so you got rid of her?"

"Shut the hell up, Kivar." Max's fists came down hard on the table in front of him as he abruptly stood. Michael put his hand on Max's arm, in an effort to calm or constrain Liz couldn't tell.

Kivar didn't appear intimated by Max's outburst at all. He just laughed. "Is there any wonder why we worry about you becoming king?"

Max's body jerked and Liz could now tell that Michael was indeed restraining him. Kivar just smiled at Max's reaction while both Banar and Jael tensed. They looked like they were prepared to jump in and break up any fight that might break out.

"Enough." Liz was slightly surprised at the authority and power in her own voice and even more surprised to find herself standing as though in full command. For a second it was probably out of line. For a woman who had been hurt by the girl in question probably more than anyone else in this world, including Max, it was fully justified. She wasn't going to let Tess or anyone using Tess' name hurt any more people. "Kivar, your concern over Tess is misplaced. Max is right. She acted evilly. She killed an innocent person and showed no remorse for it. And she did have a chance to know love, she just abused the people who offered it. This conversation is out of line and if I thought you were even capable of sincerity, I would tell you to apologize to all of us for wasting our time talking about her."

"Liz," Larek's voice gently called to her in her anger. As she took a deep breath and lowered herself into her seat, she stole a quick glance at Max. He was still standing, Michael's hand still on his arm, but he no longer looked enraged. No, instead he appeared almost stunned, not quite sure of what he was seeing. When she risked another look, she saw that while he was no longer standing, his expression remained the same.

"The execution of Ava's clone Tess," Larek continued once he saw the council members settled down, "as already been examined and deemed a necessary act. Kivar, you know this. Do not bring it up again, not unless you want all the acts of your past dredged up and discussed."

"That certainly wouldn't do." Though he appeared disappointed on the surface, Liz could sense Kivar was deeply satisfied.

He really does just enjoy causing trouble, she thought.

"I'm sure it wouldn't," Larek replied sternly. The chair shook his head as he looked out at the dignitaries in front of him. "We've done some really good work here today. I know this is difficult. We want to get to an answer soon but I think we were just given yet another example why this must take time. Before we adjourn for the day, I would ask that tonight we each, and I do mean each and every one of us, take time to reflect on what it would take for us to have more faith in each other and this process."

Though his words were spoken for all, Larek's eye-line told Liz that he was speaking mainly to Max.

"Having asked that," he continued, "I wish you a good day. I will see you all tomorrow morning."

As soon as Larek finished speaking, Max quickly stood up and walked off-stage. When Michael didn't immediately jump up to follow him, Liz did. Or at least she tried to follow him. He was moving quickly and she had to break into a small run. He was almost to the small lobby in the front of the theater before she caught sight of him again.

"Max, Max wait!" she shouted up the stairwell. She saw him stiffen, however slightly, at the sound of her voice. He moved to open the door to the lobby.

"Max, please," she implored softly as she continued walking up the stairs. She was not going to let him get away from her. Instead of continuing to the lobby, he paused.

"What do you want, Liz?" he asked coolly, not turning around to face her.

"I want to talk to you."

"And why do you think that's a good idea? Didn't get us anywhere yesterday." Again, he was playing this cool and casual. As she closed the last few steps between them, she could see while his tone may belie his emotions, his body did not. His shoulders and neck were tight and tense.

"Max," she said softly as she gently touched his elbow, turning him to face her. "I wouldn't say that."

His eyes traveled down to look at her hand touching his arm, then slowly back up to look into her own. They were searching her. She responded by searching back.

"I don't understand you, Liz."

Well that's a nice change of pace, she thought as she lowered her hand and said "What do you mean?"

"Why..." He paused, letting out a tired sigh and running a hand through his hair. "Larek came to our hotel yesterday, which I would guess you know. Among many other things he mentioned that I have you to thank for my different reception today."

Liz shrugged. "I just pointed out what I thought was the obvious."

"No." Max shook his head firmly. "You defended me Liz. You defended me then and you did it again just now and I don't understand."

The intensity in his gaze was making her uneasy.

"I'm just doing my job," she tried to explain casually. "Trying to make this thing work."

She saw the disbelief in his eyes, as though he wasn't sure if she was telling the full truth. He was right. She knew she couldn't go around preaching about trust if she wasn't going to be honest enough to deserve it.

"And sometimes you are worth defending," she added softly.

The last bit of tension left his body as he gave her a faint smile.

"You really don't ever give up, do you?" There was a touch of awe in his voice.

"What?" she replied, unsure of his meaning, unsure of him. In this stairwell she thought she was seeing another trace of the boy she had loved so well. It terrified her.

"Nothing," he mumbled quietly. He opened the door and gestured for her to walk through. She did and he followed her into the lobby. They stood in the middle of the small lobby for a few moments, just looking at each other. Liz wished harder now than ever before that she could sense what he was feeling. She wished too that she could tell what her own feelings were.

Voices of some of the other council members filtered up the stairwell into the lobby. In just a few moments they would no longer be alone. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew she didn't want this time alone to end. Neither apparently did Max, for once again he opened a door and gestured to her to follow.

The moment she stepped outside, she felt herself shiver in the face of the cold winter afternoon. She had followed Max so quickly she hadn't stopped to get her coat from Whitmore. Just as her body was registering how cold it really was, she felt herself enclosed in warmth. Max was draping his coat over her shoulders.

"Aren't you -" she began before he cut her off with a small shake of his head.

"Don't feel it," he replied softly as he began to walk down the sidewalk. She put her arms through his coat and again followed.

They walked together in silence, weaving through the locals and tourists alike. Liz couldn't help but notice how the occasional head would turn to take in a good view of the man walking with her. Max, of course, appeared oblivious to the attention he was drawing. He always had.

Several blocks away from the theater they turned off the main road and headed down a small alley. They walked down the alley to a quieter street lined with modest looking townhouses. Walking down the street a short distance brought them to a small park. There were a couple benches and a few flower beds that were currently filled with pine straw. It wasn't much but it was nice, contemplative even. As Max moved toward one of the benches Liz realized he must have known about this place. Sitting down next to him, she wondered if he came here to think often.

After a few moments Max broke their prolonged silence.

"Sometimes I wonder. I shouldn't, but I do."

"What do you wonder Max?"

He sighed as he stared out into the park. "I wonder if she was really as evil as I made her out to be in the end. I wonder if she really deserved to die."

Liz slightly stunned and made a small face at his comment. She should be used to him surprising her by now but this was particularly disorienting. She truly never thought he would broach this topic with her.

Trying to recover from her surprise, she replied, "You heard Larek. It was deemed necessary."

He continued as if he hadn't heard her. "I know it shouldn't have happened like it did but I never thought to question whether or not she should be dead. Always just assumed. Maybe I was wrong."

"Max," she said firmly, drawing his attention away from his inner thoughts and to her. He looked so... so lost. Though it went against all her barriers of self-preservation, she responded to his statement.

"I don't know what's right or what's wrong when it comes to death," she admitted honestly. "But Tess was horrible and made no apologies for it. She would have hurt someone else and you couldn't exactly send her to prison. It was a tough choice to make, Max. I think you did the best anyone could given the situation."

"Given the situation that I made," he replied gruffly.

"Why are you looking for more ways to torment yourself?" she asked and realized the answer to her own question immediately. Max wasn't exactly a stranger to self-inflicted torment. Still, this was a little different. "Look, I think I get what you're doing. By taking away her active role in creating her own fate, you take away her power. I get that, I do. I don't want to hate her because I don't want her to have the kind of power that hatred still has over me."

While she was speaking these words in order to help Max, just saying them helped to recenter her.

"But she hurt people, took people I loved away from me," Liz continued in full truthfulness, "and that's not something I can just easily get over. Every time I hear her name mentioned I want to throw up. So, I guess even from the grave she's still got power over me. And while I hate that, I'm not going to create some scenario where I hate myself instead of her or something just so I deny her that power."

Max stared at her blankly.

"God, I'm just rambling here aren't I?" She gave a half-laugh at her situation. Here she was, trying to convince her ex-boyfriend that killing the woman that came between them wasn't something he need to feel guilty about. "But I mean it Max. Don't let your need for control over the situation let you lay blame at the wrong feet. The Tess we knew was about as horrible as a person as I have ever met. She used and hurt people without a second thought. Actually, sometimes I think she did things for the sheer pleasure of causing others pain."

Though Max continued to stare at her as though he didn't understand a thing she was saying, though it might do more harm than good, and though she never intending on revealing what they held, the words kept coming.

"She confronted me before she split town. The last time I saw her she let me know how far your relationship had developed, how great things were, how great 'it' was. She had no reason to tell me that except to cause me pain." Max's eyes were growing increasingly wide and he moved his mouth slightly, as though he was trying to find something to say. "I'm not saying that to bring up old issues, just to provide an example of what she was like."

With those last words, Liz stood up from the bench and took a few steps. Having let all that out, she couldn't handle being so close to Max. The tears that she couldn't avoid started to fall and she wiped at them furiously, keeping her back to Max as she tried to pull herself together.

"You knew?"

His stunned voice drew her attention and her gaze. He still looked completely thrown. She wondered painfully if she had worn a similar expression when Tess had confronted her.

"About you and Tess? Yes."

"But, you... you were going to..." She was half-glad to see that he was having just as much trouble forming complete thoughts as she often did when she thought about certain things from their past. "I mean, you... you acted surprised that night when, uh, when I - "

"Rubbed it in my face?" she challenged, immediately angry that was the first place he went. "I think I was more surprised that you would bring it up the way you did, when you did."

"Right," he replied quietly, almost as if her words or the memory those words brought up hurt him. Liz inwardly scoffed at herself. She was the one that those memories hurt. No need to go projecting that pain onto others.

"I should have known better than to have a conversation about her with you," she muttered, trying to calm herself down. "There's just too much stuff in the way. I can't exactly be all clear headed and free of emotion as some."

She arched her brow pointedly in those last words. He had the grace to nod in recognition of their seeming truth. She stood there for a moment, trying to think of what she could possibly say next, before he took the pressure off her by speaking first, and surprising her once again.

"She lied to you."

Lied? Well of course Tess lied to her. She lied to all of them. She was full of lies - they were one of her trademarks, like overly-applied make-up or obsessing about being an alien queen. No, she realized with fuller awareness, he was talking about one thing in particular.

"What do you mean? You didn't..." Her voice trailed off, not quite able to complete the question and say those words.

"Oh no, much to my shame, we did," he replied ruefully. "But it... it wasn't."

"Wasn't what?" she asked sharply, annoyed that he wasn't just spitting whatever he had to say out.

"Great, it wasn't great."

Liz suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. "Your sex life is none of my business, Max. I really don't want to know."

He nodded again which for some reason instead of placating her, only made her angrier.

"And come on, do you actually expect me to believe that?" she asked incredulously. "Sure, evil bitch, but you didn't know that then. And the hour long orgasms she oh-so-casually mentioned don't classify as great? Please, I'm not that naive."

"I know you aren't." He said that in normal voice but Liz saw the quick flash of pain in his eyes. Damn, she hadn't meant that as a specific reference. She hadn't lived that lie in a long time. But of course Max took it that way. She might have forgotten that she was supposed to be an experienced woman, but he obviously hadn't.

"Sorry," she mumbled, her anger deflated. "I don't know why I said that. I just really don't want to be talking about this."

"Fine," he acquiesced softly.

"Fine," she echoed as she focused on the tree behind his head. She forced herself to stay, refusing to give in to the urge to run. She would just clear her thoughts, shake off the last of these turbulent emotions, and then they could talk. About what, she had absolutely no idea. She would be open to discuss just about anything. The council, Kivar, the best movie they'd seen this year, whatever - as long as it didn't involved Tess or their past, she could deal.

"It's true though, I think." Max's soft voice was once again drawing her attention. She looked back to him and was startled by what she saw. He was looking at her, really and truly looking at her. Like he was trying to reach deep inside her soul. It was a familiar gaze, but one she hadn't seen in a very long time.

"What they say about love making all the difference. It's true." He was trying to sound casual, but a small hint of desperation leaked through. He needed to say this and needed her to hear it. "One kiss with someone you love is better in every imaginable way than a thousand nights with someone you don't.

As she processed his words, she felt herself falling into those eyes of his, the ones that were full of such fragile longing, the ones that matched her own. She had spent the last few days wishing she knew what was going on inside of him, wishing she could see him as she once did. And here it was. Max was actually sharing some of his self here, no longer playing it cold and emotion free. As she continued to look, no, fall into his eyes, her heart raced, her stomach clenched, and her soul rejoiced. She felt that pull, the one that led her to dare to dream, to jump off bridges, to risk everything in the name of love. The one, a small voice in the back of her mind reminded her, that brought her nothing but pain and emptiness in the end.

That voice, one that sounded remarkably like Maria, brought reality crashing down around her. She forced herself to break contact with those beautiful eyes, to look anywhere but at him. She used to think that when she gave into that pull she was following her heart. Now she knew she was just giving into delusional fantasies. For god's sake, they had just been talking about when he slept with the woman that murdered Alex. Nothing resembling love or romance or her dreams would be found here.

"Really, you think?" Liz managed to say the words with a clear voice. She paused for a moment, pretending to reflect on the past experiences she supposedly had. "Hmm. You know, can't say that I agree, but each to their own."

"Right," he said flatly. She dared to look back at him and saw that all the emotion he had been placing out there was once again hidden behind the cool gaze. Her barb had clearly hit its mark. The Max of old who had begun to emerge had quickly retreated into his cold shell. She hadn't wanted to hurt him but at the same time it was the only way she knew to protect herself.

"That's right," he began, his voice low and slightly acidic, "I seemed to have forgotten love isn't something you value highly. Bet that makes you real popular with your college boys. Or do you still only give it up to washed-up jocks and criminal wannabes?"

She knew what he was doing, trying to hurt her as she had just hurt him. She knew this and still she lashed out.

"Fuck off Max."

"What, with you?" he sneered. "No thanks. I prefer my women a little less used."

Her urge to vomit was only matched by her urge to hit him with the green power now lighting up her fingertips.

"I wasn't offering. I prefer my men a little more human."

With those last parting words she ripped off the coat that had been keeping her warm. She let it drop to the ground as she turned and stormed away, the occasional green crackle hitting the ground in front of her. She managed to neither break into a run nor break into tears until she turned into the alleyway. Once there, out of Max's sight, she did both with great force.


	12. Watershed

One of Liz's favorite things about moving up north was the air. The Bostonian air might not have been as clean as the desert air of New Mexico, but in the winter there was just something invigorating about it. Stepping out onto her balcony on a cold day gave her a rush, filled her with a greater sense of being alive. Her skin tingled from the cold, making her feel fresh and clean. Some days she imagined she could taste the promise of snow in the air and it made her smile. Though it might cause chapped lips and extra-rosy cheeks, the winter air had been good to her these past few years.

But now the crisp air was anything but her friend. It set her lungs on fire as she ran, made her sharply aware of the wetness that covered her face. Though the wind power in New York was usually less impressive than Boston's, today it felt as if somehow she had angered the Greek god Aeolos and he was sending all the winds at his disposal after her. They kept pushing her back, as though they didn't want her to continue her flight.

Too damn bad, Liz thought as she continued running. She had no choice but to run. She had to get away from Max before she said or did anything that would screw things up even more. For two people who used to be so in sync, they were impressively dissonant. In a matter of minutes they had run the course from delicate openness to jarring anger.

She approached the theater unsure of what she would find. To her ever lasting gratitude, Whitmore had pulled the limo around to the front of the theater. Seeing her approach, still at full speed, he quickly got out of the car with her coat in hand.

"Have you been hurt?" he shouted urgently, running out to meet her.

She shook her head no as she started to slow down. Her feet finally stopped their flight in front of Whitmore, breath labored, nose and eyes red from both the tears and the cold. He absorbed the sight of her as he wrapped her coat around her shoulders.

"You and me, we can go somewhere." As he spoke so with deep kindness, he reached into his own coat, pulled out a small handkerchief, and gently wiped her tears. "Anywhere this limo can take us. And if you need to go somewhere it can't, then we'll take care of that too."

"Thank you," she managed to say weakly, "but I just want to go home."

"To Boston?"

His question threw her. Go to Boston? Oh god, how good that sounded. She managed to resist temptation and shook her head no.

"I meant the hotel. I just want to go there and rest." And talk to Alex.

Whitmore looked at her closely again, as though he were internally debating whether or not to leave things at that. He must have decided to put his paternal instincts aside because he nodded and guided her to the car door.

On the way from the theater to the hotel, Liz stared out the tinted windows trying to lose herself in the melee of the city. The passing traffic, bustling people, and flashing lights, however, provided little distraction. All she could see were Max's eyes - before and after she crushed the fragile emotional honesty he had offered. The words they had struck each other with replayed over and over. It wasn't until Whitmore's hand gently shook her arm that she realized the limo had stopped and they had arrived at the hotel.

"Are you sure you want to be alone right now?" he asked as he offered his hand to help her out of the car.

Taking his hand, Liz nodded. "Thank you, though."

After shutting the door behind her, Whitmore offered her a small hug. Liz accepted both it and the feelings of care and compassion he sent out to her. Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself out of the embrace.

"Tell Larek that I'll see him tomorrow morning and to be ready," she warned. "I... I lost my cool with Max and we exchanged some heated words. I may have messed things up beyond repair."

"Don't worry about that, now," Whitmore counseled. "Larek is an impressive statesman. Whatever happens tomorrow, he'll find a way to make things work. You just worry about getting yourself back together."

"I will," Liz replied with a small smile of thanks. Waving goodbye, she headed into the hotel. Somehow she knew Alex was already waiting for her. What exactly she was going to say to him, she wasn't so sure.

Words were, however, not an issue. The moment Liz opened her hotel door and saw Alex leaning against the armchair, she once again burst into tears. A pair of arms quickly encircled her, gently guiding her from the doorway to the couch. She stayed in those arms, letting out all the emotions that were swirling around inside.

"Why, Alex," she managed after awhile to say through her tears, "why did I have to be so awful?"

Alex didn't answer, rather continued gently rubbing her back. Taking a few deep breaths, Liz willed herself to lift her head from his chest.

"I screwed up, Alex," she moaned. "I screwed up so bad."

"What do you mean, sweetie?" he asked as reached to get a box of tissues on the side table behind him.

"Max. Of course it's Max," she said with a half-laugh, taking a tissue from the box he held out. "I completely flipped on him. I ruined everything."

"Liz, you couldn't have ruined everything in one afternoon."

Shaking her head, her voice became more accusatory in tone. "I hurt him, Alex. A few days ago I would have told you there was no way I could, but there's no mistaking what happened today."

"Why do you think you hurt him?" he asked softly. "Did you two talk about the picture he carries of you?"

"No. That would have been a much safer topic." Liz swallowed the familiar urge to be sick. "We talked about Tess."

"How in the universe did that happen?" Alex's calm exterior was replaced by an expression of shock.

"And for some reason," Liz continued, too absorbed in the ache of remembering to register his question, "for some reason in that moment he started to open up. I looked into his eyes and for the first time in years, it wasn't like seeing a stranger."

The memory of those eyes, his vulnerability, the familiar feeling that had threatened to overpower her very being: the whole of what she had cruelly rejected made her wince with the pain of regret.

"Five years, Alex. I've gone five years without him opening up to me and today I shut him down so fast I doubt he'll ever risk it again."

"What did you - no," he interrupted himself, "I'm sorry. The details are between the two of you."

"We both said some things, but it was all my fault," Liz offered as explanation to her friend, self-derision still clear in her voice. "I couldn't just ignore his invitation, his emotional exposure. I had to strike at him when and where he was most vulnerable. I had to reintroduce what was probably the greatest pain I ever afflicted upon him."

"You mean your supposed night with Kyle."

"That and the whole 'I-want-a-normal-boy' thing."

"So, all these years and he still doesn't know the truth?"

"Uh, no," Liz replied slightly startled at Alex's question. The memories of various reasons why she hadn't told him mixed with the fresh memories she was currently absorbed in. The mingling only caused more internal confusion. "I went so long wishing I could tell him. I've gone even longer thinking if I ever did tell him it wouldn't matter anymore."

"So he doesn't know anything about that night," Alex pressed gently, "nothing about his future self or any of it?"

"No. I didn't tell him because..." The self-doubt that had plagued her for years over her decision to remain silent only sharpened the pain inside. "I don't know. At the time I thought I did. I didn't get a chance to say anything before he left and it just didn't make sense to bombard him with that information when he finally got back from hunting Tess. I mean, what good is a 'hey by the way, she's supposed to help us stop the apocalypse' once she was dead? I guess I just hoped that Future Max was wrong or something. Or maybe that the big thing Tess needed to do was destroy the Skins army, which she did. I wasn't exactly the clearest thinker; it's been hard to know what to do with this information. I haven't even told Ava; she's had enough issues to deal with. I'm the only one who knows. Well, Maria knows some of it."

"And she never told Michael?

"No, we both thought it would only make things worse since he couldn't do anything about Tess being dead. And you know Maria," Liz continued feeling slightly lighter thinking about her friend, "she may have a big mouth, but when it counts she's good.

"Except the time she told her cousin about you both practice applying make-up on me," Alex agreed with a grin.

"Yeah, except for that." Liz allowed herself a slight smile at that memory before her internal conflict and confusion overwhelmed her once again. "Maybe I made the wrong decision. It didn't really feel like much of a decision, though. More like quiescence based in fear. Future Max didn't seem to know Tess was a traitor, but maybe he did. Maybe he engineered the whole thing to get her to show her true colors early, so the other aliens could do something about it in time. But then why didn't he just tell me she had gone over to the other side? Or maybe we're all doomed no matter what we do to try and stop the end of the world. Maybe everything is for nothing."

"Or maybe you've been bearing this burden too long," he countered as he reached over and placed a comforting hand on her leg. "Liz, I don't know Future Max's motives, but if he was anything like the Max we knew, then I doubt he would have developed some elaborate scheme to bring us to this point. He probably had just as much information as you did."

Liz nodded in acceptance of his words.

"It's just so convoluted. It's too much - questionable information, intergalactic battles, different timelines, dealing with decisions made in different lives. I don't know how Max deals with all of it. Actually, I lied. I do know how he deals. He draws within himself."

Disappointment in herself flared up once again, filling once more her well of anger. "God, I was just yelling at him yesterday for not taking risks, for not reaching out to people. Why did I deliberately hurt him?"

"Why did you?" he returned, forcing the question back.

She sighed, looking toward the hotel window in order to avoid eye contact with Alex. Though she had been asking herself and Alex why, she knew before she even asked the question. She knew, she just didn't want to deal with the answer.

"Liz," Alex coaxed softly, drawing her attention and gaze back to him.

Though it made her uneasy, the time had come to stop running from the truth. Trusting in Alex's goodness and understanding to help her through, she answered him.

"Self-preservation."

"Can you elaborate on that?" he asked gently.

"I'm scared, Alex," she confessed, her voice cracking slightly as she spoke. "He's hurt me so badly before, betrayed my trust in him. I didn't want to open myself up to that again. He carved my heart into so many pieces that I still haven't fully healed. I don't want to get hurt like that ever again."

"Betrayed? Do you mean Tess?" Though he asked the question innocently enough, Liz knew from both her senses and his look that he was searching for something more, that he knew there was something else behind her words.

"Yes, and no. That wasn't..." Liz struggled to find the words. "Those aren't some of my favorite memories to relive. While we weren't officially together, while I even pushed him toward her, I admit it. It did feel like a betrayal."

A wave of empathy came over her and Liz wondered if Alex felt similarly when Isabel started seeing Grant.

"But," she continued slowly, the thoughts she was speaking out loud only fully realized as she spoke them, "I think I could have recovered from that, at least enough to risk opening myself up to being a friend. You know, someone who could handle even a little bit of emotional intimacy."

"All right, so what's the thing that's stopping you?" Alex pushed firmly. With the tone and the look in his eye, he was making it clear he wasn't going to let her escape the conversation this time. While part of her was grateful, another part couldn't help but attempt to evade once more.

"Um, some other stuff that happened." The words sounded pathetically flat, even to her.

"Stuff that happened?" Alex cocked his brow. "Liz, you've got to stop being evasive. If you ever want to work past whatever it is that brought you to this place, this place where you sob tears of disappointment and burn with anger at yourself, you have got to deal."

"I know," she lamented softly. "God, I know that Alex. I want to tell you. I do. I want to move on. I want to, but I can't.

"Why not?"

His simple question was the one she had been struggling with for over four years.

It's..." She paused as she agonized over how to communicate what had been incommunicable for her for so long. "Is there anything that you've seen or experienced that you don't know where to begin? Don't know how to find the words to express what any of it was like?"

"Yes," he replied in a low voice. "My death."

"Oh, Alex." Her eyes became misty once more as her own internal pain was quickly replaced by compassion for her friend.

"It was hard, very hard," he confided quietly, his eyes clouding over as he continued. "I'd start to think about it and I would be filled with this incredible sense of violation. Death can be peaceful; it can be a release, a new beginning. Mine wasn't peaceful at all, and while it was a new beginning, it wasn't the best way to start."

"Alex," Liz breathed sorrowfully. She had always wondered if he felt any pain, if he knew what was going on, if his death had been at all peaceful. Now she knew.

"Hey, don't worry about me," he insisted as he passed her another tissue from the box in his lap. A faint smile crossed his lips and the shadow in his eyes lifted. "I'm in that infamous better place, remember? And I eventually found someone who understood."

"Someone else died like you did?" she asked in confusion.

"No, but another Guardian, a friend actually," Alex answered, his smile growing, "shared her story with me. She died from leukemia and the way she talked about her cancer, how it just invaded her body and took over, until she didn't recognize it as hers anymore. Well, that's how I felt, except instead of cancer I was diagnosed with a bad case of mindwarping. Once she shared that with me, I found myself able to vocalize what had happened."

Liz wiped away the few tears that had fallen from her eyes as she took in what Alex had said.

"Hey, better place," he insisted with a full grin. "I'm serious; don't spend those tears on me. You've been doing enough crying for one day. I'm sure you've reached your quota."

"Yeah, I guess I have," she smiled back. "I'm kinda emotional, in case you didn't notice."

"No, I didn't," he teased gently.

Liz let herself have a small laugh before she turned back to the issue at hand. "If I could talk about this with anyone, you know it would be you. But I honestly don't know where to find the words."

"I don't want you to tax yourself more than you already have," Alex offered gently. "Maybe we can talk about this another time, a time when things are less intense."

Though she appreciated his suggestion, Liz knew she couldn't let herself take the easy way out again. "If there's one thing I've learned about life with aliens it is that it's never going to be 'less intense.' I want to find a way to deal."

"Are you sure? I really don't want to pressure you."

"Thank you, Alex, but I'm sure," she insisted. "I need to move on. While I tell Maria I'm fine, I know. I know that's part of what's been holding me back in life. And I don't want it any more."

"Okay. Okay." Alex stood up from the couch and began walking around coffee table, head down as though deep in thought.

Liz watched him meditate on whatever was in his head for a couple minutes before she asked, "So, what are you thinking about?"

Alex paused his step and looked up from the ground. He stared at her for a moment, as though trying to assess exactly what to say, before he spoke.

"This may sound weird and I'm telling you up front that I know that."

"Okay," she said slowly. "What's up?"

Walking around the coffee table, he sat down beside her again. "Well, if it's the words that are getting in your way, I may have a suggestion."

Oh anything, she thought as she asked "What?"

"Don't tell me, show me."

"What?" she exclaimed, startled by his words.

"Um, you know, show me," he replied tentatively, squirming slightly in uneasiness. "Connect with me. Show me what happened. That way you won't find yourself unable to speak. You won't have to."

Liz was taken aback by his proposition. "I never thought of that before, not even to try with Maria. Can we even do that?"

"Why not?" he countered, his voice stronger with confidence as he spoke. "You're a human with superpowers and I'm a dead guy with otherworldly powers. I think between the two of us we can manage."

Now it was Liz's turn to squirm. She liked the idea; she certainly wouldn't be burdened by issues of verbalizing. But she was also wary of his suggestion. She wouldn't be able to edit anything that happened and she didn't know if that was a control she could give up.

"I, I don't know. You might see something you don't want to," she disclosed truthfully.

"Liz, I don't know what I may see. But whatever it is," he assured her, "I will be able to handle it. It won't make me uncomfortable. While I know I may look like the same goofy Alex, I'm not. What might have made the teenage boy uneasy won't faze the Guardian."

In that moment Liz felt from Alex such an ageless sapience, she knew he would be fine. The question was, would she?

As if reading her mind, Alex added, "If you don't want to relive or reveal anything in such full detail, I understand. We can think of something else. Maybe you can find someone who's experienced something similar and try to talk with them."

Liz couldn't help but the smile that curved her lips. His words reminded her exactly why she would be fine even if she did relive one of the most painful nights of her life in full sound and color. "Thank you, but I think, I think I want to do this. Like I said, there's no one else I'd rather have help me through this. I know that, no matter what, my friend, both Alex the teenage boy and Alex the Guardian, is here. And he'll love me and help me get through the other side."

Pulling her into a warm hug he replied, "Always. Even when you can't see me, I'm here."

She squeezed him as tightly as she could, as if she could absorb his warmth into her own heart. Finding strength in his embrace and his love, Liz readied herself for what she was about to do.

"All right," she began as they turned towards one another fully, the couch being wide enough that they both could sit with their crossed legs touching.

"So, exactly how do we do this?" Alex asked as they settled in.

"Well, I don't know, exactly. It just sort of happened between Max and me. We were always connected in some way, I think, and in intense moments or, um, intimate moments we would just see things, feel things from the other."

"Even the first time?"

Liz tried to hold the pain she knew was coming at bay. Alex didn't know it yet, but this conversation only reminded her of why it was so hard to talk about that night. The memories of the night they first connected sharply contrasted those of the night she was about to dredge up.

"No, that one took a little more effort."

"Do you feel comfortable trying to do it like that, then?"

She nodded as she reached out and placed her hands on the sides of his face.

"Um, just look into my eyes."

As Liz concentrated on connecting with Alex, she felt a pull. It was similar to the one she felt with Max, yet distinct. Instead of the burning energy she felt with Max, she felt a more soothing, yet less stimulating, power. The way it called to her was as though she were entering into a deep meditative state. Alex's face began to fade away from her vision as he and she were pulled into the memory of one of the darkest nights of her life.

_"Maria, how old do you have to be to start looking for grey hairs?" Liz stared closely at her dresser mirror, phone pressed against her ear, as she studied the hair around her temple. Was that the light hitting her hair funny or was that actually a grey hair? _

_"Chica, what are you talking about?" Maria sounded slightly distracted and exasperated. No doubt Michael was doing something to annoy her. "You're not even 18. I think it's still a little early to worry about going grey."_

_Liz looked closer at the mirror. Maria was right; it was probably just weird lighting. "Ugh. Ignore me. I'm just feeling particularly old today." _

_"Maybe we should have gotten a cake to commemorate the occasion or something. One with a bunch of little green aliens coming out of the mothership. There could even be one with spiky hair wearing a Metallica t-shirt and a snarl." _

_In the background Liz heard an irritated "Maria" coming from Michael. __"Apparently someone's not a fan of your cake idea." _

_"Well, what can I say? Someone doesn't have a highly evolved sense of self-deprecating humor." In a loud whisper, she continued. "Just between you and me, I really think he just doesn't want to be reminded of a certain hair phase and how obsessed he was with the coif." _

_"Maria!" Liz laughed at her friend's assessment, which was probably pretty on-target. Michael might be an alien warrior with a past life but he sure did take extra-special care of his hair. Maria had once told Liz that even after he had grown it out, he spent more time on fixing his hair than she did. _

_"Hold on Liz, I'm getting the death glare from Spaceboy." __Listening to Maria tell Michael that he needed to excuse himself from his own living room so she could have quality talk with her best friend, Liz tried to fight the gnawing envy that had the tendency to appear when she was exposed to the couple, even when they were fighting. Actually, it was when they were fighting that she tended to be the most envious. No matter how hard they fought – and it could be impressive – they managed to come back to each other. If only she had been as lucky in her own love life. _

_"Sorry babe." Maria's voice pulled Liz out of her downward spiral of self-pity. "That boy of mine..." _

_Liz smiled into the phone. "Yep, that boy of yours. You love every moment of it."_

_Maria laughed slightly. "Well, I don't know about every moment." She paused. "So talk to me about this feeling old stuff." _

_Liz sighed. "I just can't believe it's been two years already. Part of me feels like it's been twenty, part of me feels like it's been two weeks." _

_"So what have you done since dinner?" _

_Liz had gone to Maria's after school and had left there after being treated to Mrs. DeLuca's attempt at comfort food, which basically meant lots of different kinds of pie. __"I walked around for a while, just trying to clear my thoughts." _

_"And stay away from the Crashdown?" Maria added. _

_"Yeah, that too." _

_"Okay, so your thoughts are clear. What else did you do?" Maria asked pointedly. "You were fine, well, as fine as you could be when I last saw you. What sent you down this depressed spiral? _

_"I didn't really do much," Liz replied quickly. _

_"Right, and why don't I believe that?" Maria challenged. "Stop being evasive. What did you do?" _

_"Okay, okay," Liz gave in. Once Maria honed in on something, there was no way you could stop her from getting what she wanted. "I read my journal entry tonight, the one I wrote a few days after, and it really got me. I was just so hopefully, you know?"_

_"Babe," Maria groaned. "How many times do I have to tell you to burn that thing?" _

_"Maria," Liz cautioned. _

_"I know, I know, it's your life, your memories, and all of that. But Liz, it's masochistic to read it." _

_"I just need to remember sometimes," she explained. "Remember what it felt like, remember that it was good once." _

_"Liz," Maria sighed. "I know you. You don't need to read that thing to remember being in love with Max Evans. You're still in love with him. There - I said it. We pretend like it's not there, but it's become the gigantic pink heffalump in the room." _

_Liz laughed slightly. "Heffalump? Been watching Winnie the Pooh lately?" _

_"Yeah. I've been introducing Michael to the finer points of kids' cartoons. He didn't really watch any as a kid. And – hey, don't deflect." _

_"Sorry. No more deflecting." _

_"So, do you want to talk about it?" _

_"Talk about what, exactly?" Liz sighed as she sat down on her bed. _

_"Talk about the fact that you're still in love with the guy who brought you back to life two years ago today. The same guy who slept with the evil alien who killed our best friend, who split for months with no contact except that one unsuccessful phone call, who acted like an ass before he left and who has been cut off from everything and everyone—including you—since he got back. That. We could talk about that." _

_"Am I so obvious?" _

_"No," she offered kindly. "But I'm the best friend, I'm supposed to notice." _

_"God, Maria," Liz groaned. "I'm so pathetic." _

_"No, babe, you're not. You're a girl who's been in love and who's still holding out hope that one day you can get back to that magical place." _

_"But why am I holding on? Max hasn't given me anything to have hope in since he got back and we all remember what happened before he left." _

_"The heart doesn't really obey our rules of logic," Maria counseled wisely. "It tends to make its own." _

_"I wish I could let go. But I don't think I can," Liz admitted both to Maria and to herself. She had spent all summer trying to deny it. Actually, she realized with a groan, she had been trying to lie to herself since the day at the rocks over a year ago. It hurt too much to face the awful truth. No matter what happened, she was always going to love Max Evans. Everyone else really would be second best. __"Am I going to be this miserable and lonely the rest of my life?" _

_"Absolutely not," Maria insisted firmly. "One way or another, something will change. Either you and Max will find a way back to each other or you'll get fed up and move on. It'll happen Liz. You just may have to suffer in limbo until it does." _

_"Limbo sucks," she muttered disdainfully. _

_"Preach it, sister," Maria laughed gently into the phone. "Want me to come over and keep you company? Limbo sucks but it can be more entertaining with a fabulous best friend and a pint of sinfully delicious ice cream." _

_"Ice cream after all that pie?" Liz teased affectionately, Maria's humor bringing out her own. "Thanks, Maria, but no. I know how much you've been needing your Michael time. You haven't had him back but a few weeks. I'm sure you can't be needing a break yet." _

_"Well, I don't know about that." _

_"Stay with him and have fun," she insisted. "Watch some more Tigger and Piglet. No need to come mope with me." _

_"What are best friends for if not to share the joy of moping? Michael can wait, you can't." _

_"Thanks, Maria. But I'm fine, really. I'm just going to go to sleep and let this day be over with." _

_"All right." Liz could tell Maria wasn't so sure but she wasn't going to push. "If you change your mind, call me. I mean it." _

_"I will. Love you." _

_"Love you too."_

_After hanging up the phone, Liz glanced around her room and realized Maria was right. Maria was often right about a lot of things, but in particular she was right about living in the past. It wasn't healthy. _

_Not, Liz countered to herself, that I'm going to burn my journal. It just probably wouldn't hurt to pack some other things away. _

_With a plan in mind, Liz knelt down and looked under her bed for an old shoe box. One in hand, she scanned her room for items to put in it. Traces of Max were everywhere. The most obvious were the pictures. On her headboard rested the strip of silly pictures they had taken on their first official date after the night in the desert. She allowed herself one last look at their smiling faces before she threw the pictures into the box. The same went for the pictures of him that were sitting on her dresser, the ones that used to reside in her Crashdown apron. _

_The picture she had the hardest time putting away was the one that rested in her desk drawer. The morning after her radio station blind date she had noticed that in one of the pictures on her desk Maria and Alex had morphed into Max. She probably should have thrown it away - it could have been proof of alien funny business after all - but she just couldn't bear to part with it. The whimsical nature of seeing Max's smiling faces surrounding her reminded her of how carefree he had been that night. The only other times she had seen him so happy and hopeful had been during their brief time as an official couple. What she wouldn't give to see him even a fraction like that once more. _

_After clearing her room of all Max pictures, Liz knew she still wasn't done. If she was going to clear her space of Max, she might as well make it thorough. Soon the knife she had given him on a silly impulse last Christmas, the last of the perfume that been a gift, even the lace shawl she had used in fantasizing about the future the night her world turned upside down, all of these things made their way into her box. _

_Setting the box on her desk, Liz looked around her room one last time, to make sure she truly had cleansed her room of every reminder. A breeze coming through her open window caught her curtain, drawing her eye. Next to the window was a bookshelf and on that bookshelf was a small tin. Within that tin sat an old scrape of paper which she had saved for almost a year and a half. Even though it was tucked safely away in the tin, it too had to go. Physical reminders of painfully tempting memories involving the eraser room would only serve to torture her further. _

_Leaving her new box of memories on her desk, Liz headed over to her bookshelf to get the old note. Walking past her window, something else caught her eye. This time it caused her heart to jump._

_Sitting with his back against the wall next to the window, looking out at the night sky, was Max. This was a place she had seen him many times before; he came to her balcony, to her, when he was confused or upset. And here he was again. _

_Maybe she gasped or maybe he just sensed her staring at him because she saw him stiffen slightly, as if aware of being watched. As he turned toward her and their gazes met, Liz realized this was not like those previous times. Along with the exhaustion and confusion she expected to find in his eyes, there was something else - deep desire. Max wanted her. Desperately. _

_Losing herself in his enticing eyes Liz realized something else: she wanted him just as desperately._


End file.
